[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]
Hi.
It is so great to be here with you, Ellen.
This is the first time I have been in studio on a show
since the pandemic broke out.
[LAUGHING]
Yeah.
I think we're six feet apart, you can take that off now,
because we're six feet apart.
Are you sure?
Because you're a national treasure, and I
want to keep you safe.
Oh.
This is for you.
That's very sweet of you.
You look great, I love what you're wearing.
Thank you.
My legs, are they too pale?
I was so nervous, I was going to use self-tanner, but then I--
[LAUGHING]
--last second decided, just to go out there, and dress up,
Amy.
And go down to the studio, and look your best.
Yeah.
And here I am.
I know, I feel like I could just reach out and touch you.
And you can, and you will.
And I brought notes that I'm going to take to--
Oh, you dropped your pen.
I got it, I got it.
Here.
And I thank you for that.
[LAUGHING]
Never mind.
You know what?
I would like to-- hold on, I'm just
going to cross my legs the other way.
Tell the camera to get ready, I don't want to see anything.
OK.
Here I go.
[LAUGHING]
Thank you.
Here they are.
OK.
I have been walking during the pandemic,
and that is why my legs are looking so right, Ellen.
[LAUGHING]
Yeah.
Oh boy.
Yeah.
I'm going to take a quick drink you left out here for me.
Oh.
Thanks.
Can just set it back on the table.
Thanks.
[LAUGHING]
[INAUDIBLE]
Hey, I haven't seen you since you've had a child.
How is that child doing, and how old is he now?
That child is, I want to say, at least six months.
Old how old is he?
He's almost 17 months old.
Ah.
Wow.
[LAUGHING]
Don't I look great, for it?
Yeah.
Look at this right here.
Oh, there he is.
In his "Every mother counts" shirt.
Aw.
He's precious.
He's pretty cute, right?
He's very cute, and boy, you went through it.
We'll talk about the documentary later.
But you'll tell him about that later in life, right?
I think so.
You know, I can see up my skirt, if you want to maybe--
[LAUGHING]
You know what, I'm gonna--
I'm gonna put a blanket--
I'm going to put a blanket over you.
Thank you.
I was-- I didn't want to say anything.
And not tWitch's birthday, I'm not going to ruin his birthday.
[LAUGHING]
I do appreciate that.
I just get so cold when I'm in studio.
[LAUGHING]
Now you're-- you're all bundled up.
Do you have heaters in here?
[LAUGHING]
Tell me-- tell me about-- tell me about your child,
and why you changed his middle name.
His name is Gene--
Mm-hmm.
Really no reason.
I mean, look.
You know how sometimes parents by accident name
their children genital?
[LAUGHING]
You know?
The old mom's tale of when you--
[LAUGHING]
My friend, the comedian, Dave Attell,
I wanted to pay tribute to him.
And Chris's mother's name was Gene,
so Gene Attell, Chris's last name, Fischer.
So we realized about a month in it sounded like, I don't know,
genital fissure.
[LAUGHING]
A month in.
I mean, you're so vulnerable during that time anyway.
And then it was just like, we messed up so bad
right out the gate.
It was just like, OK, well the pressure's
off now, because we have royally ruined his life.
[LAUGHING]
All right, but it's not-- so what's his middle name now?
Oh, this is so embarrassing.
It's [BLEEP].
[LAUGHING]
Did we mess up again?
[LAUGHING]
Oh God, I'm so nervous about it.
I feel like I should probably see a consultant or something.
Because naming is not my thing.
[LAUGHING]
Boing.
Well, all mothers go through this.
[LAUGHING]
Yeah.
[INAUDIBLE]
You guys home-schooling, naming your kids [BLEEP]..
We get it.
[LAUGHING]
OK.
All right.
Let's show a cute video that you posted.
I want to show this, and we'll talk about it.
Mom.
Mom
Aw!
[CLAPPING AND GIGGLING]
He said mom.
That's his first word?
Or maybe he said bomb.
[LAUGHING]
Either way, I was excited.
Yeah, well, actually, that's not his first word.
I am his second word.
His first word is car.
Which definitely hurt both of our feelings,
but he loves cars.
I don't know.
Chris and I don't care about cars, but he is obsessed.
Anywhere we go, if we go to the beach,
he just wants to be in the parking lot.
He just wants to look at cars which is really convenient.
Because everywhere you go there are cars.
Yeah.
So we kind of lucked out.
If he was like really into fighter jets,
it wouldn't be as easy.
Sweet little genital.
[LAUGHING]
We're gonna--
[INAUDIBLE] little genital.
[LAUGHING]
We're going to take a break.
I want to talk about-- he has a little toy kitchen which
makes sense, because you married a chef,
and you have a cooking show.
But we're taking a break, and then we'll come back, and see
what part of this we can air.
[LAUGHING]
We'll be back.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi, I'm Andy.
Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel
so you can see more awesome videos.
Like videos of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things.
Like ball peen hammer, and also some videos
of Ellen and other celebrities.
If you're into that sort of thing.
[SHOUTING]
God [BLEEP].