- [Chris] Woo.
(audience applauding and cheering)
Before I start,
Paul Pelosi the only guy that knows how I felt.
All right. (audience laughing)
Just me and you, Paul. (audience clapping)
Just me and you, babe.
All right so, I met Sandler.
Here's a weird thing.
I went to school in the seventies.
I was, 1972, I was bused to school, right?
And I was like the only black kid in my school.
I was only, me and two other black girls,
it was just us, in Brooklyn.
And you know, it wasn't, it wasn't Selma,
But... (audience laughing)
it wasn't Selma, but (whinging)it was like Boston, okay.
(audience laughing)
It's like Boston, right?
Now, how many times do you think a kid
asked me to hang out at his house?
Once.
Once in like 16 years.
David Moscowitz.
The Jews, nice people. (audience laughing)
Nice people. (laughing) (audience clapping)
So I...
met Sandler at The Comic Strip.
Here's the thing about The Comic Strip,
I started before Sandler,
and it takes about two years
to get a weekend spot, you know?
So I used to like, you know, stack chairs and mop floors
and I'd do my little spots.
And at, very late, and it took forever,
it took me two years
to get a weekend spot at The Comic Strip.
One year, I'm gone for about 10 days.
Eddie Murphy saw me at the club,
flew me to LA, I'm gone for two weeks, right?
I come back on a Saturday night and who do I see on stage?
Adam Sandler.
I'd never seen him before in my life.
And we're like kind of the same age,
and he's on, on a weekend, and I'm like,
who the (beep) is this guy, (audience laughing)
that he gets a weekend spot so fast, right?
So I was supposed to hate him.
And I'm watching him and he does this joke
about Wilt Chamberlain,
Wilt Chamberlain once scored a hundred points in the game.
And Sandler does this joke,
He goes, "Here's my impression of the coach
of the other team."
"Who's got Wilt?" (audience laughing)
So I've watched it,
it's like the funniest joke in the world.
I'm like, I'm laughing so hard.
And I was like, God dammit, this guy's good.
And right away, all that jealousy and hate and whatever,
just like washed away.
It was just like, okay.
And he comes off stage, we meet, this first time we met,
then he watches my set and I did okay.
And then the greatest thing in the world
to the guy who no one wanted to play with,
Adam goes, "Hey, we're going over to my dorm,
you wanna hang?"
And he's been letting me hang ever since.
And I love the guy 'cause he, you know,
Jews gotta, you know, you gotta love it.
(laughing) You gotta love it. (audience clapping)
That's my guy.
He's been my guy,
I've known this guy for 30 years.
And you know, your kids are here.
The Oscars are, you know, they're (beep) assholes.
(audience laughing)
And (chuckling) if they don't wanna give my man his props,
we will tonight.
Ladies, gentlemen, one of the greatest of all time,
Mr. Adam Sandler.
(audience cheering and clapping)
(audience member whistles)
(audience clapping)