[music playing]
Piper... you can't put this in there.
It's creamed possum.
You could put anything in soup.
It's just got to be wet.
See, it's fine.
Okay, guys, I got to go home.
But as soon as I'm done with dinner, we got--
Well, I like the Schwoz-amole.
Don't judge me.
Use the spicy milk!
[screaming]
Those are my best--
[whining]
Mommy!
The steak is good. Can I have another one?
Yeah, but that's not steak.
Oh, what is it?
Alligator.
[coughing]
Hi, Paula Marciano.
I want to join your club so much, I'm gonna eat a bowl of...
hair soup.
Okay, Jasper, you wanna try my special Sush-a-roni-n-cheese roll?
- Morgan, may I? - Hit it!
[mumbling]
Ah.
[mumbling]
Ah.
Ray told you not to eat the worms!
Ah, you already bashed my pants.
Now let's let me enjoy my worms.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, guy, what are you doing eating my stuff?
Oh, yeah, I thought you left.
What do you mean though I left? What is that? What are you do-- Ah!
You opened my yogurt. Why would you open my yogurt, man?
To dip the carrot.
Hey, are these reindeer eggs locally sourced?
Uh, I-I don't know.
Well, I won't eat eggs unless there locally sourced.
Okay, good for you.
[unintelligible] look at this.
Henry's father gave me some food to take home.
You want some Indian seafood chowder?
No!
Look! Look! It has...
Get away from me!
...and carrots and clams and urchins.
Captain corn dogs!
Captain corn dogs?
Yeah!
So you called us all here just to try your new captain corn dogs?
Uh, yeah.
This is not a life or death situation!
Tell the folks at home what you think of my pizza soup.
I love it!
Whoa there, pony. How about tasting it first.
Oh, sure. I'll use the spoon.
Brilliant.
Okay, dinner's ready!
Oh, yeah! Smell that!
Duh. Ha-ha.
You want some meat?
No, I don't want your canned meat!
I want you to get off your butt and get back in the game!
I want Captain Man!
Sorry.
Say hi to Captain Couch.
I found the chips.
I-I don't want--
I don't want that.
I've hidden food all over the house.
We can pretend to eat Piper's food but really we can...
catch up on our reading.
Ah, book cheese.
Yep.
Finally found a good use for books.
[laughing]
We're good to go! Now,
does anyone not want whipped cream on their fish lasagna?
No, no, no!
No one's having whipped cream on anything 'till my other son gets here.
[crashing]
That's him.
[grunting]
Okay, okay, one.
[grunting]
Now... be gentle.
Ah! I said, "Be gentle!"
[grunting]
- No! - [unintelligible] got us that!
- What? - That's your first bite of an apple?
Course, stem first, butt second.
Oh my God!
This is how everybody eats apples!
Top, bottom, then the core, after that ya want some more!
Who is teaching you kids?
- You! - You are!
What are you eating?
Stick of butter with sprinkles.
- Why? - Why not?
Ma'am.
Could I talk with you?
What?
Could ya stop eating the cheese for a minute?
Yeah, yeah, pass the lamb balls.
Fine.
Poor lamb.
That was charming.
Okay, chili balls.
Finally.
[beeping]
Ah. Sorry, too tired to eat. Gotta go to bed.
[beeping]
More balls for us.
Oh, nacho tower!
- He fixed the auto-snacker. - I don't care.
So how does everybody like my tuna parmesan?
- Oh, it's so good. - Terrific.
- Great. - I'm loving it.
Yay! I'll go get more to tuna sauce.
Whoa, man!
This bodacious blue bacon is amazing.
- Let me see this. - Mmm.
Yeah, but... there is something awesome about the raging red rhubarb.
Uh, Char, which one you gonna vote for?
Neither. I don't have time to vote for some dumb corn chip.
- What? - Charlotte?
Okay, I got to be honest.
This brown soup is really good.
- It's really good soup. - Excellent brown soup.
So thick and brown.
Thanks. It's my mom's recipe.
It won the Brown medal at last year's soup festival.
- Oh. - Wow. Really?
No.