How many of you are liars?
[CHEERING]
How many of you just lied about being liars?
[CHEERING]
Never have I ever lied to my kids.
Hello.
Sorry, violet.
I lie to my kids every day.
My children will turn 18 and be like, everything has been
a lie, and I'll be like, yes.
I've told my kids 1,000 lies, but all for good reasons.
They have to take the trash out.
That's one of their jobs.
The trash cans are covered in spiders,
and they're terrified of spiders, and especially
brown recluses.
So I have somehow gotten them to believe that brown recluses
only live in Texas.
When my kids were little, I told them
the ice cream truck only played music when it was sold out.
You're always telling little white lies,
but for the most part, I try to tell them the truth.
Sometimes--
He's lying.
I'm lying.
I'm totally lying.
[MUSIC PLAYING]