We don't want to get too dark here, but the fact is, we all have a limited time in our
lives — so why not make the most of it with a marathon of amazing ninja movies?
Pop some popcorn, sharpen your katana, and come with us as we comb through the good,
the bad, and the completely inexplicable to bring you the best ninja movies you must see
before you die.
Heroes of the East
If you're looking for a place to jump on with ninja movies, there aren't a lot of better
starting points than 1979's Heroes of the East.
Also known as Shaolin vs. Ninja, it follows the time-tested formula of pitting a master
of one style against a group of rivals to see whose kung fu reigns supreme.
In this case, that master is the legendary Gordon Liu — who was fresh off his breakthrough
performance as the hero of 36th Chamber of Shaolin, and who would go on to international
fame as Pai Mei in Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill.
Five Element Ninjas
Any conversation about classic martial arts movies usually leads to one of the most widely
accepted truisms of the genre: Five Deadly Venoms rules hard.
The 1982 follow-up Five Element Ninjas combines everything good about that cult film, and
takes it about five steps further over the top.
While it's not as well-known as its predecessor, Five Element Ninjas is every bit the blood-soaked
classic that Venoms is.
The plot is pretty simple — a kung fu school that was defeated in battle hires a color-coded,
element-themed ninja clan to get revenge on the warriors that beat them — but honestly?
That hardly matters when you're getting glorious fight scenes with ninjas appearing and disappearing
in a cloud of red smoke, or watching the heroes celebrate tearing their enemies in half by
punching a giant boulder so hard that it explodes.
Ninja III: The Domination
If you want to see the '80s ninja explosion in all of its bizarre, high-concept glory,
you need to go straight to the third entry in the infamous Cannon Films Ninja Trilogy.
That's not to say Enter the Ninja and Revenge of the Ninja aren't worth seeing, because
they definitely are.
"Wait, wait, ninja, wait.
Why don't we speak like… civilized men."
But the first two aren't necessary to enjoy Ninja III: The Domination.
After the opening that finds a ninja launching a wildly violent assassination attempt on
a golf course, the mysterious warrior ends up dead — but not before his soul possesses
an aerobics instructor who suddenly finds herself unwillingly moonlighting as a deadly
assassin.
It's a twist on the usual ninja movie setup that combines martial arts action with the
setup of a horror movie, and the end result is pure '80s madness.
American Ninja 2: The Confrontation
If you're only going to watch one of Cannon's American Ninja films — and let's be real
here, you should definitely only watch one — the second installment is by far the best.
Michael Dudikoff returns as an Army Ranger named Joe Armstrong who's investigating the
disappearances of a handful of marines from a military base in a Caribbean paradise with
his sidekick, Curtis Jackson.
It turns out those abducted jarheads are being brainwashed and genetically altered into an
army of super-ninjas, which means Armstrong and Jackson have to ninja their way through
an entire base of brainwashed bad guys to blow up the entire operation.
It's goofy, full of bloodless knockouts and over-the-top twists, but all that adds up
to a movie that's uproariously entertaining.
Just make sure you don't follow it up with the incomprehensible American Ninja 3: Blood
Hunt.
Pray For Death
On one level, Pray For Death is basically just Death Wish with Charles Bronson swapped
out for Sho Kosugi.
Look a little deeper, though, and there's something in here that's a little bit smarter
than your average ninja revenge story.
Make no mistake: there's a lot of ninja revenge in this movie, with Kosugi playing the role
of Akira, a highly trained ninja who leaves his life of violence behind in order to travel
to America with his family.
And open a restaurant.
Like pretty much all of Kosugi's ninja films, the action is spectacular, but the really
compelling stuff here comes in how the movie presents Akira as an immigrant in pursuit
of a peaceful new life in America, and the contrast between the dream of success and
the barriers he encounters along the way.
Ninja Assassin
On the off chance that you were worried Sho Kosugi had stopped being a total badass after
the '80s, don't fret.
In 2009, his starring role as the villain of Ninja Assassin proved that he definitely
still had it.
Produced by the Wachowskis and directed by James McTeigue, Ninja Assassin cast Kosugi
as Lord Ozunu, the ruthless head of a ninja clan that trains orphans from birth to become
killer ninjas.
Unfortunately for Ozunu, his chosen successor, Raizo, goes renegade, setting the stage for
exactly the kind of beautiful, visually stunning fight scenes that you'd expect from people
who brought you The Matrix.
The Octagon
If you only ever watch one Chuck Norris movie in your life, it should be… well, it should
be Lone Wolf McQuade, if only because Chuck Norris drives a pickup truck out of his own
grave.
If you want one with ninjas, however, you gotta go for The Octagon.
Despite the lack of truck-based resurrection, it's basically a perfect storm of a Chuck
Norris movie.
Norris stars as Scott James, a bearded karate master who finds himself caught up in a terrorist
plot.
Since he just happens to be pals with a couple of mercenaries who are also dealing with a
severe ninja problem, the whole thing climaxes in a sequence where Scott James has to fight
his way through the ninjas' own lair, the Octagon.
Azumi
Director Ryuhei Kitamura is probably best known for his work on Godzilla: Final Wars,
but if you really want to see Kitamura take on hyperviolent widespread destruction, you
need to sit down and watch Azumi.
Based on the manga of the same name, Azumi offers incredibly stylish action, with practical
effects enhanced by CGI that only rarely ends up feeling silly — and there's a twist at
the end that's truly delightful for fans of ninja action.
Izo
Takashi Miike's career as a director has been all over the map, but the one thing that unites
all his films is a style that verges on the surreal, creating movies that are often less
about the narrative and more about the experience.
That's the case with Izo, which follows a 19th-century assassin through the afterlife,
punctuating violent encounters with big questions about the nature of suffering.
It's certainly not the fun martial arts romp that you'll get with other films, but it's
definitely fascinating, and worth a watch for the ninja obsessed.
Miami Connection
Made with a minuscule budget in 1987 by amateur filmmaker, martial artist, and Dragon Sound
rhythm guitarist Y.K. Kim, Miami Connection received incredibly poor reviews on its initial
release, but became an instant cult classic after it was unearthed by the Alamo Drafthouse
in 2012.
It's easy to see why, too.
The tortured drama, energetic amateur acting, and spectacularly weird plot of a synthpop
band of martial artists throwing down against a bunch of cocaine-dealing ninja bikers all
add up to an incredible amount of weird charm that more than makes up for what this movie
lacks in technique.
Watch it...or suffer the wrath of this guy:
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