Hello and welcome back, my Body Language Buddies! today, in Episode 37, the big question is,
what are all those signals of Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin having a toxic relationship?
And to find the answer, we will be looking at that Ellen Show interview when Justin's
words and facial expressions revealed about his true opinion on commitment,
Clips of Justin being not so much of a gentleman with Hailey, to confirm if he was being rude
or just playful, and
What's with all that stalking of Hailey on Selena?
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My Name is Jesús Enrique Rosas, I'm the Body Language Guy, and I want you to uncover the
secrets that people try to hide from you.
After so many years of being in an on and off relationship with Selena Gomez, Justin
Bieber finally married Hailey Baldwin in 2018.
A lot of people thougth that it was a bit rushed but in fact Justin and Hailey had been
friends for a long time and had enough opportunity to know each other.
I think some think that their relationship is a bit odd, due to this clip from the Ellen
Show:
- And I found, I was like... you know?
I'm going to make the decision, and follow through with it.
Be a husband, and this is what I've always wanted, I'm gonna just... choose this woman
and... and just do it.
The most relevant emotional marker here is the way he pulls his left lip corner right
after saying both "make the decision" and "be a husband".
He does that with his mouth from time to time, but in this case the amplitude and frequency
of that lip corner pull is more intense, so that's how we know that the commintment topic
makes him nervous.
But beyond body language, it's really important to listent to the words people choose to express
your emotions.
Let's review his words:
"I'm going to make the decision and follow through with it."
"Be a husband, and this is what I've always wanted."
"I'm gonna just choose this woman and just do it"
Especially that last sentence "I'm gonna just choose this woman and just do it".
It sounds like you're at a kebab house, can't decide which menu to pick and just say, hey!
I'm gonna just choose number two and just eat it".
And he's not talking of a future event.
He's talking about something already in the past, so there's absolutely no pressure in
talking about the topic.
That's how you know that "I'm going to make the decision and follow through with it" was
something that he truly felt when he was going to marry Hailey.
As in, this is the right thing to do, this is what I should do, And I have to make this
work.
Now, we already have two signals that he felt a bit forced about that marriage decision.
And that's OK; sometimes you have to make difficult decisions on the spot and say, hey!
this is what I'm going to do.
But the problem with a "I have to" when choosing to marry someone is something that doesn't
fit.
And he wasn't sure of being faithful, either:
- Am I able to make this commitment as a man and be able to honor, you know, what I say,
you know because that's a serious commitment when you say that you're gonna love someone
for better and for worse, and like, be faithful, that's a huge...
That's another verbal clue.
I think that if someone is making the decision of getting married and they say that they
don't know if they will be able to be totally committed, if they say that being faithful
is a huge thing, then I don't think that they are ready to make that decision.
What do you think?
I'd like to read your opinion in the comments.
Now let's watch this clip of Justin talking about Hailey and let's see if you can spot
anything odd:
- But I'm glad that worked out because she's and amazing, amazing, amazing person.
- Yeah.
She seems like it.
- She really is.
She's super precious.
And I enjoy spending my life with her.
There are three signals here.
First, I think he really thinks that Hailey is amazing.
That nodding, emphasizing with his voice and body, the repeating.
His body is emphasizing his words.
But then he lowers his gaze and does that lip corner pull again.
Now, this can have a lot of meanings.
That he feels that he doesn't deserve her, or he's embarrassed of saying that, we stil
don't know.
But what really struck me is that when he says that he enjoys spending his life with
her, there is... nothing.
There should be a hint of joy there.
The three displays, one positive, one negative and one neutral, are signals of an inner conflict.
There's an unresolved issue and we still don't know what it is.
I don't want to think that the issue is with Hailey herself, but attitudes like this one,
raise concerns:
Yeah, he tried to shut the door and Hailey was coming right behind him.
That's not being playful because if you're joking, even in bad taste, you want to watch
the other person's face, and also make sure that they know that you were joking.
Some say that maybe Justin thought that Hailey was coming out from the other side, but then
he would have acted surprised about noticing that Hailey was coming right behind him.
There's no such reaction.
Also, Justin's attitude is tense.
Long strides, long arm swings and he never looks back to check on her.
Every couple has arguments.
Every couple has disagreements.
But this attitude only signals that Justin is immature, and the first clue that getting
married was trying to do something on the outside without changing first the inside.
Alright, he wasn't looking, he could have been distracted, but he doesn't have the benefit
of the doubt in the next clip:
There are levels to playfulness, and this is nowhere near that definition.
The only one that can joke with a karate chop to the head is Mr. Miyagi.
Mock or fake or joking aggressions are always a symptom of something deeper.
And of course there's always the argument of: "but they have so many cute moments!"
So, under that logic, if a husband hit his wife only once in ten years, then it's no
big deal, right?
This is the kind of "logic" that women sometimes consider to justify their partner's actions.
He was tired, I said something stupid, and in the end women can even think that they
deserve that, especially if they're under the influence of a covert manipulator.
Some argue that Justin is a narcissist, but what I've seen of him looks more like immaturity
rather than being manipulative.
The problem arises when he has passive-aggressive attitudes of covert anger like the next clip.
They're doing an Instagram live, someone asks about Justin's struggles with lyme disease
and Hailey answers as in 'we'.
Now, notice how he reacts:
- We are working alongside doctors, waiting up to the true nature, yeap, using everything
that is necessary and safe for that and... it definitely is... you know, it sacks
- She's asking me.
- Anyways...
- They're asking me, because it's my lyme disease, it's not your lyme disease, are you...
- No.
It's natural that Hailey answered as in 'we', because when you're married you are involved
in your partner's well-being, and most probably they both went to see the doctor and try to
find a solution to what was going on.
But that's again an immature reaction, and even if she smiles and tries to move on from
the topic, he insists.
It's my lyme disease, it's not YOUR lyme disease, that's really rude.
But even if she tries to shrug and smile that off, he insists.
- Well I was helped in every fricking day, you know, in the doctor with you for months,
so...
- Yeah, but... they asked if I was scared about the lyme disease because i'm the one
who has it.
- Hey, but that didn't say that.
I was just saying that you were taking...
- Listen to me, woman - Yeah, that's the attitude
I have to recognize Hailey's patience with him.
I think she's aware that he can be psychologically abusive sometimes, and in fact that's something
that Selena had said in the past about him.
The problem is that this is a snapshot of what looks like a mother-child relationship.
You got his immaturity, he is someone who yes, has been under a lot of pressure but
at the same time, he has done anything he wanted, including wrapping an Audi R8 in effing
leopard print, and that should be considered a war crime.
She's the one tring to bring some sanity into the relationship.
Or is she?
Now, it's your turn to be the Body Language analyst.
Can you decode Hailey's facial expression reaction when Justin said the words "Listen
to me, woman"?
The answer, at the end of this episode.
Now, there's a lot of speculation about Jelena, that it's the couple nickname of Justin and
Selena.
They were on and off, over and over again, for years.
The last time they were together was in 2017, when specially Selena had already made clear
months before that she was moving on.
That being together and breaking up again and again has its own meaning in human behavior.
If you get together and it simply doesn't work, you just split up, hopefully on good
terms, delete all your silly instagram pics and call it a day.
But for anyone that has followed Jelena over the years, it's clear that they have one of
those relationships when both can't be away from each other, but also can't be together
for long periods.
And it's part of how complex are we as human beings.
Our personalities and characters have many facets, and we could find someone which makes
us feel great and even better than being on our own.
But sometimes, even that is not enough to remain together.
Now, I want to ask, what's with all those allegations of Hailey trying to copy Selena?
There are hundreds of articles, videos, twitter threads, that claim to preSENT proof that
Hailey has been trying to copy Selena over the years.
I already mentioned confirmation bias in one of my videos about Meghan and Harry, when
people claim that Meghan has been copying Diana's style.
And in this case Hailey has a slight disadvantage because we're talking about an army of millions
of selenators that are more than ready to scrutinize her every move, photo, post, commentary
or style.
But no matter what, Selenators will always think that Hailey is a real life Burdine Maxwell.
The strange part is all those likes and accidental follows of accounts on Instagram that criticize
Selena.
That is bringing too much unsolicited attention to yourself.
And even if you want to take a look at what Selena is up to, why couldn't Hailey do it
from a second instagram account?
It's like she wants to be discovered.
Like she wants selenators to know.
But there are always going to be fans of Jelena and fans of Jailey.
But since Justin's behavior has been questionable at times, more and more agree that maybe Selena
dodged a bullet.
We know that some of her friends did not look at her relationhip with Justin in the best
light, like that time when Taylor Swift stuck her tongue out at the sight of Selena greeting
Justin.
There's also the fact that she was muct more willing to go to him that he was.
Selena was looking at him directly while he was looking away.
Yes, in some circumstances it's normal to get nervous because you're going to make a
public appearance.
Totally normal.
But usually, when you see someone that you like in those situations you act a bit calmer
and more serene.
This is not the case here.
I think she's better of being with someone more emotionally stable.
Thinking about all those years when Justin and Selena kept flipping the switch, could
be due to Justin's efforts to evolve beyond his immaturity.
He could have been making progress, but possibly even that wasn't enough to make it work.
But Justin had fallen in love with Selena many years ago, and maybe she, just her presence,
was a constant reminder for him of an easier, or wilder, or more simple time.
Doing the research for this episode, Justin gave me the impression that as many other
entertainers, he has been through massive amounts of pressure to deliver and that has
taken a toll on his mental health.
Now, what I'm going to say now is going to stir controversy.
I think Selena was an opportunity for Justin to be himself, but far too volatile to work.
Marrying Hailey was the 'grown up' thing to do, but you can't expect to marry, or be in
any kind of relationship, thinking that your partter is a way of fixing or finding yourself.
That never works.
And that's why Justin has been building resentment throughout the years in his marriage.
And the answer to today's riddle, what was Hailey's facial expression when Justin said
the words "Listen to me, woman"?
She raised her eyebrows in surprise because she didn't expect those words and briefly
closed her eyes in withdrawal.
She did not expect that, she didn't like it.
One more thing:
- If you weren't so hot, I would have gotten rid of you a long time ago.
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that you can download right in the description.
And don't forget to subscribe if you don't want to miss any of my Body Language Episodes
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See you Next Time!