Hey everybody.
Happy Tuesday.
And you noticing I'm wearing glasses, which I never do because I don't like them at all.
They bug me because they are,
I see the rims and ahh.
But I am getting lasik surgery tomorrow morning.
So keep your fingers crossed for me.
Pray for me.
Whatever.
Make sure that my eyeballs come out unscathed.
Yet with perfect vision.
So if, I'm not sure how much it's going to affect me later in the day.
I don't know how long I nap for.
I'm not really sure what happens afterwards.
But I have it in the morning.
And so if I am okay in the afternoon I will do a video.
But if I'm not, then I wont do a video tomorrow.
So I just want to let you know.
If there is no video it's just because maybe I'm in pain, or maybe I'm sleeping.
I'm not really sure.
So, but either way if I can, I will.
Okay.
Now, since it's Tuesday, I'm on tumblr.
And I have three questions.
As well as a journal topic from anonymous.
So thanks for that.
And lets get started.
So the first question,
Someone wants to know did I have a good Thanksgiving.
And I decided to answer.
Because often times I don't know how much I should share about what's going on with me.
If I should share anything.
If these videos should only be about you.
Which is fair, you know, that's kind of what I've grown.
What our community is all about.
But, so I had a great Thanksgiving.
So I'll just share a little bit about what was going on.
So I made the turkey because we went over to my friend Aba and Jessie's house.
And Venus and she's Indian.
And she's been vegetarian and she doesn't really do meat stuff.
And she was like, 'Would you mind cooking it?'
So I cooked the turkey.
It turned out delicious by the way.
Which I was really glad.
And Sean helped a lot.
He really likes to cook and he likes to help out.
And then I made carrot soufflé and we brought that over.
And we played cards and ate until we were so stuffed we wanted to take a nap.
And yeah.
So it was great.
And they don't have tv at their house.
It's just one of their things.
They don't really believe in it.
Which I totally appreciate.
However I do believe in football.
And I like to watch football on Thanksgiving.
And the Sea Hawks were playing.
And they kicked ass.
Yay.
So anyway, Sean and I recorded it and watched it later.
Which was also awesome.
So yeah.
Overall, nice Thanksgiving.
And just during the weekend Sean and I played tennis.
Which we don't really know how but we're kind of learning.
So it's kind of funny / just fun.
And it was relaxing.
I didn't really do much of nothing.
And now it's raining today.
So I'm getting ready to relax some more.
Okay, so that's enough about me.
Question number two,
'Hey Kati, is there any difference between receiving therapy from a regular therapist,'
'Versus one who works at the counselling centre at my university?'
'These college counselling services are 'free' to me, payed through tuition.'
'But according to their website it looks like they only do short,'
'Work on a short term basis.'
'I was just wondering if you can get the same level of care at my university,'
'As I would if I saw someone not affiliated with the school.'
'Thanks.'
Now I wanted to talk about this because I've had many clients have trouble doing this.
I try transition some of my clients when they go to college, lets say out of state.
And so I can't really see them, we'll do phone sessions, but it's not as good.
And I'm like, 'Go to the counselling centre. See somebody.'
But it is true,
They only work on the short term basis.
So, I think maximum amount of sessions that you can get is like ten.
However, there are caveats to that.
I have had many clients that are really struggling,
Lets say in their past history they had an eating disorder,
Or really bad depression, suicide aldi.
Anything like that.
If it gets bad, and they actually are worried about you, they will extend your sessions.
They always can extend them.
They make it sound like they can't.
But that's a lie.
Because it's under, like,
Our standard of care means we can't just like abandon you when you're not doing well.
So they kind of have to.
But you could get a better, I don't know if I would say level of care,
But a better consistency of care,
If you go to someone outside of school.
However, I when my dad passed away saw a therapist at my grad school.
And she was amazing.
And I saw her for a really long time.
Probably like three to four months, every week.
So like I said, they can extend them.
But if you are looking for a long term therapist.
I would encourage you to seek it outside the school,
Because they try to get you out as quick as they can.
And the second you're doing well, boom, they might not make another appointment.
Okay.
Question number three,
'Hey Kati, yesterday I told my therapist about my compulsive need to exercise.'
'It was really hard for me. She brushed it off and told me it wasn't a problem.'
'Is it normal for me to feel angry and invalidated about it as I do?'
'It's not really the first time.'
'She tells me a lot of the things that I'm struggling with are 'normal' and they are not a problem.'
'I don't even really want to see her again.'
'And I'm not sure if all of this is a red flag.'
So.
Oh, and it says please answer privately.
Just so you guys know,
Unless you say like, 'Use my name'.
I never use people's names.
And I would never answer anything, any question on tumblr, I would never post it.
I answer all things privately.
Unless they are anonymous.
Because then obviously they are for us to post because you don't know who it is.
There are a couple of sides to this.
Now, lets play devil's advocate.
Let's look from the therapist standpoint.
Now if this was my friend as a,
One of my colleagues that I have worked with as a therapist.
And someone told me this about them.
I would say,
'Well, possibly. It's possible that they were trying to normalise the situation for you.'
'Make you not feel so alienated or maybe 'weird'. Or like it's 'crazy.'
But it all depends on the patient.
I usually only do that if the patient talks about it like that.
And says things like, 'I just feel crazy.'
And, 'Does anybody else go through this?'
And that's when I would say,
'You know, that's very normal to have this kind of scenario happen.'
Because that's the truth.
A lot of people go through stuff like this.
And compulsive exercise is a symptom of, you know, kind of the eating disorder realm.
And it is something that is very common.
And, but brushing it off.
Is where I am like, 'Ehh, it's not a good sign.'
And I would think it's maybe a red flag that,
Maybe this therapist doesn't quite understand eating disorders,
Or compulsive exercise.
Or what that feels like.
And how hard it is for us to speak up about it.
Or share it for the first time.
And so maybe that's just an indication,
That they really don't understand that realm of mental health.
Not everyone knows.
I mean, I don't know about everything.
I'm not a specialist in everything.
One of the things I know the least about,
To be truthful.
Is the autism aspergers spectrum.
Whatever you want to call it now.
Because they're just calling it all the spectrum.
But I, that's not my speciality.
I worked on that for when I first started.
And I haven't done much since then.
So there are certain things that people will say like,
'I'm better at this. And I'm not as good at that.'
And maybe that's just an indication that what you're needing help on,
Isn't something that they specialise in.
And so maybe it's not a good fit.
I would, from the get,
Say if I don't feel validated.
If I feel like they don't really get me, they're not understanding me.
When I put myself out there there's no, like,
'Wow thank you so much for telling me that.'
And like validating it, helping me process through it.
Then I would probably want to find someone that's a better fit for me.
So that's just, those are my thoughts on it.
Think about it.
Take some time.
And then make a decision that's best for you and your recovery.
Trust me, as a therapist, we don't take it personal.
It's just what's best for you.
Okay.
Now the journal topic.
Says, and this is a really good quote.
So are you ready?
'I wonder how much of what weighs me down, is not mine to carry.'
So, 'I wonder how much of what weighs me down, is not mine to carry.'
I thought that was really powerful.
Because how many times do we let someone else's response,
Which we have no control over.
Change our whole attitude.
Our whole day.
Our whole feeling about ourselves.
Where we may think that something was really hurtful someone did.
And now we feel bad for even feeling hurt.
And that can weigh us down all day.
I mean, this is powerful stuff.
I really liked that quote.
So, yeah think about it.
Write it down.
What's that mean to you?
Are there things that you carry around every day that really aren't yours to carry?
It's a good one.
So thanks anonymous.
Have a wonderful day.
I may see you tomorrow, like I said.
If not, I will see you on Thursday.
And Thursday is twitter.
So ask your questions there using the #KatiFAQ
Bye!
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