[MUSIC PLAYING]
MERO: [LAUGHS]
Normally, Desus and I are the Sucio Boys.
And we're not afraid to cover nasty stories on the number
one show in late night.
But tonight, to appeal to a wider audience,
we're going to keep things squeaky clean.
That's right, starting now with Olympia Boys,
making wholesome content.
MERO: Mm-hmm.
And if we mess up, our producer, Julia,
will throw a flag on the play to keep us in check.
- Mm-hmm. - Also, she is a woman.
- That's right. - So we're allies.
That's right.
[LAUGHTER]
Do we get a flag already?
[LAUGHTER]
Y'all ready for this heartwarming stuff?
Huh?
Listen.
- Ah. - Ah.
- Yeah, ah. - Ah.
Listen, I been on probation before.
You tried to catch one [BLEEP]..
JULIA: All right.
So, remember, no swearing, no sexual innuendos.
Just keep it clean. - OK.
No humping towards camera. JULIA: Exactly.
- Mm-hmm. - No, and I can't--
JULIA: We're going to have to swap
out your adult beverages for some more
family-friendly beverages.
Oh, OK.
Shit.
[LAUGHTER]
JULIA: Oh.
This ain't nothing new to me.
JULIA: OK.
3:00 AM, you can't open no doors?
This is all--
I'm taking this [BLEEP] right out your lunch box, [BLEEP]..
All right, so let's do this clean--
Yeah, y'all.
--Christian content.
Yo, Abbott Elementary is donating 150,000 meals
to Feeding America.
[BLEEP], that kid got-- oh.
Would you-- [BLEEP].
[LAUGHTER]
That's it, right there.
It's like PG, not PG-13?
Nah.
We got to-- like, we can't say anything
that's offensive below the Mason-Dixon line.
So we can't-- - Oh.
[LAUGHTER] - So, like--
OK. Darn it--
DESUS: There you go.
MERO: That kid got glasses on.
[LAUGHTER] DESUS: There you go.
There you go.
He can't see shh--
nothing.
Um, yeah.
JULIA: Next story? - Next story.
Yeah. JULIA: Great.
Ooh, this is hard. [BLEEP]
MERO: Eh!
DESUS: Yo, beavers are back in London
after a 400-year absence.
MERO: Uh, uh, uh!
Ah, look at wet beaver.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
Love me a wet beaver, baby.
You know what I mean.
Uh-huh!
Listen here, a wet, British beaver.
- You know what I'm saying? - You know what I'm saying?
- You know what I mean? - Good day, mate.
- You know what I mean? - No, wait.
That's Australia. - Old school.
You know what I mean?
[BLEEP] You know what I'm saying?
[LAUGHTER]
OK.
But if he's the one cursing, why am I getting hit?
[LAUGHTER]
JULIA: You're a team.
No, no.
I want to challenge that one.
We gotta go to the booth.
I feel like that was clean.
We gotta call Secaucus.
OK?
He's got to rally around.
We've got-- under the tent.
JULIA: Watch it, with that language.
OK. Yes.
Yes.
Sorry.
I'm gone off this juice box. - Yo.
Ah.
This Capri Sun is hitting.
Yo.
Mm.
Here's some fun and family-friendly news.
A new VR video game controller lets you feel
objects between your fingers.
Hey, yo!
[LAUGHTER]
Shh.
[LAUGHTER]
I'm a person.
Hey, SpinOcchio!
That's what you was like, you know what I mean,
when you [BLEEP].
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
In his defense, he didn't even say anything.
[LAUGHTER]
MERO: Yeah.
I get it.
He has a filthy mouth, but give him a chance, bro.
MERO: Come on.
Come on.
Yo, innocent until proven guilty.
- Come on. - Right?
I'm a changed man.
Why am I his public defender?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNOUNCER: We developed a skin slip--
Hey, yo!
[LAUGHTER]
Yo.
Come on.
Y'all did that on purpose.
This is just an ad on the side of some [BLEEP]
that you clicked the X on.
Come on, man.
[LAUGHTER]
ANNOUNCER: --for a virtual VR sliding through our fingertips.
I'm not paying for [BLEEP].
Why would I pay for a toy?
Come on, man.
Yo.
ANNOUNCER: We developed a skin slip--
What the [BLEEP] is that?
Yo, it's a [BLEEP] machine.
Come on, bro.
Come on.
Stop playing.
Yo.
Yo, I'm not putting my [BLEEP] in something
from "Metal Gear Solid."
Oh.
[BLEEP]
Come on, now.
[BLEEP].
[LAUGHTER]
ANNOUNCER: We then investigated visual--
MERO: Yo!
ANNOUNCER: --hand slip direction--
Hey. ANNOUNCER: --and VR.
Nah, nah, nah.
I'm outta here. - Oh, nah, nah.
Come look, yo.
Come-- the [BLEEP] outta here, man.
Yeah. Yeah.
Boo, man. Boo me.
DESUS: Boo, yeah, boo us. MERO: Boo yourself.
DESUS: Bop us. MERO: Boo yourself!
DESUS: Ah. [LAUGHTER]
ANNOUNCER: We then invested--