You see my original goal,the original video I was going to do
was to figure out of ALLLL
728 Pokemon moves, which was the most dangerous and damaging of them all?
"And now our story concludes in today's epic episode!"
*epic groan*
What did I get myself into?
Dear Game Freak, so I'm trying to do this thing where I don't yell so much.
It's well, it's...
Let's just see how I do today because today's episode,an episode
I picked explicitly because I thought it would be easy is not easy. It was grueling.It was
exhausting, but we're here and I've run the numbers and I've arrived at some startling conclusions!
Which Pokemon move is the most DANGEROUS?
Not the most damaging, not the most fatal to a target, the most DANGEROUS because the other two are really easy answers.
Just look at the stats all the moves run the numbers and
Bingo Bongo.
You have the move that is most likely to kill an opponent.
Nah. Nnnnah!
Today we have bigger plans.
I've poured over all
728 official Pokemon moves boiled that down to the most dangerous 204
manually reviewed and researched all of those, reduced the list of 37 then eight then three and then
finally, one the most dangerous mass-murdering move is...
Well, we'll get there together.
Are you ready? I'm ready, Let's do this.
Figuring out what the most deadly and dangerous Pokemon move is in a game that casually has giant fire-breathing lizards,
self-destructing ping-pong balls and so many gods that are capable of
manipulating space-time that apparently ten-year-old children can capture in tiny balls and force to do their bidding?
That is a HUGE task, but not impossible if we limit ourselves to a few rules.
First of all in order to judge the most dangerous move,we're going to limit our sample size to one instance of the move.
I mean,Flamethrower could easily be more dangerous than Fissure if you let a Charizard
rampage through a city and burn each
person to a crisp piece by piece!
Or get a Koffing to poison the water supply of a nearby town by repeatedly using Toxic
so it's no longer deluded into harmlessness,and that's basically it as far as restrictions go.Z-Moves,
Combinations of items are all on the table.
And while initially I did consider moves like the classic hyper beam, hydro pump
Metronome because it can do a ton of different moves,
Fissure and like a bajillion others that are too numerous to name.
They immediately got eliminated in favor of moves that were so
obviously, OBVIOUSLY
More damaging.After a lot of hemming and hawing I ended up with this short list of possibilities.
Hail, Aeroblast,
Magnitude, Sheer Cold, Spacial Rend, Black Hole Eclipse, Roar of Time and, Continental Crush.
These are all pretty possibly devastating and you may immediately think of other moves that are similar like:
Fissure, Blizzard, Sunny Day.
Etc. But I decided that these eight represented the most
Potentially lethal moves of their class and category.
For reasons that I will go over pretty quickly to save on time
Hail should be immediately obvious to anyone who's watched my videos on
Zelda before, because apparently that's all I can talk about when it comes to that franchise.
Anything that messes with the weather can have potentially devastating consequences to the local environment.
Hail creates a literal actual hailstorm that changes the local weather.
Now,there are several moves that change the weather to...
something,but to create hail,
You need a lot of wind and water which means it would likely involve higher pressure
changes in the local climate than another move like say Sunny Day.
Plus, you know
There's hail to deal with...
Aeroblast is interesting because it's a pressure blast based move
Which I've covered before the TL;DR: with pressure differences is that in order to do something like caused?
Actual physical damage to someone the pressure differential needs to be INCREDIBLY high, and close together
Which usually means you need something like a bomb to go off to create an air pressure wave strong enough to injure someone
Magnitude should speak for itself.It's an earthquake.Boom.The End.
Why not the move Earthquake?
well
Simple magnitude actually has a listed magnitude randomly selected for the move and it's potentially more
Damaging than earthquake by power level and this is as good an opportunity as I need to talk about Fissure
It was originally on my short list, but got removed because the physics of fissures in the ground are well actually pretty boring
They don't need earthquakes to form and while they can be dangerous to anybody in the immediate vicinity and could be
Potentially devastating if used near the load-bearing wall of a skyscraper
The danger of Fissure is far too situational and not at all guaranteed to be fatal to one person let alone
Thousands like a magnitude 10 earthquake
definitely is.Sheer Cold is interesting because like Fissure it's an
Instant ko if it hits the opponent and its method of action is super interesting
it's description says it hits the opponent with a blast of
absolute zero air.
The biomechanics of cardiac arrests due to thermal shock are actually pretty interesting and I could not pass the opportunity to research whether
absolute zero the temperature at which molecular vibrations that we know as heat ceases could have
Potentially devastating effects when weaponized the next handful are kind of clumped together and I had to look at them in detail
Spacial rend harms opponents by warping space-time roar of time damages opponents by warping time
Which is like literally the exact same thing as space according to Einstein, but whatever black hole Eclipse needs
No introduction because I mean it probably creates a black hole
So there's that in continental crush. I mean well that let it speak for itself
Just look at it, any questions?
Ok, so we have our list.
Let's start crossing things off of it.Sheer Cold is the first to go absolute zero if it's even actually achievable wouldn't cause that much
Lasting damage outside the immediate area given that the medium of transmission is air
The cold molecules would just disperse out and warm up.
BORING! DARN, NEXT!
Aeroblast is pretty fascinating actually.
Blast over pressure the pressure differences created by bombs going off has been studied in great detail by you know
The military. Data from the Department of Defense has several peak pounds per square inch or psi
Over blast pressure differences recorded with their effects.Now since Aeroblast isn't necessarily fatal
It's likely a three psi blast which would create winds of over
100 mph or 160 kph.
Basically, what happens is if something big explodes, it pushes air molecules together near the blast radius.
This is sometimes called the Mach Effect because this kind of pressure wave is created by any object moving in a fluid
Faster than the speed of sound this moves out as a wall of pressure from the blast
Dissipating as it goes and washing over objects in its way this peak and pressure can hit you greatly
Increasing the pressure on your body by the surrounding air and then greatly dropping it down again.
This causes all sorts of shear stress to your organs and can straight up kill you.FUN!
Now a lot of this has to do with how far away you are
but to create pressure waves of this magnitude you need to set off a bomb with the explosive force of approximately
Half a ton of TNT which we can determine with some helpful charts and graphs from the Department of Defense.
So this is the benchmark that we need to top to which we get to my favourite
continental crush a move that pulls bedrock out of the ground
Pushes it into one giant freaking mountain and drops it on the head of your opponent
That's basically my instinct when I find one of those creepy as hell house centipedes
Which fun fact are also called hundred legged, which I think is supposed to be cute
But instead makes them more horrifying to me easily more terrifying than any enemy in Bloodborne
All right, crushing your enemies with a giant mound of rock
This one is awesome doing some basic back-of-the-napkin math,we can estimate this mountain of rock has a width of
100 meters and an internal volume of
523 thousand five hundred ninety-eight cubic meters. We can measure this more closely if we need a tiebreaker later
But this will do for now.
Given that the density of bedrock is two thousand six hundred and thirty kilograms per cubic meter. This gives our mountain a mass of over
1.3
BILLION
kilograms WOO HOO YEAH
But as you can see it's just dropped
It's not a giant
asteroid falling from the sky which still gives our Aeroblast a chance. Drop from a height of about 50 meters and accelerating at
9.8 meters per second per second toward the ground under the influence of gravity this big ball of rock would hit the ground at over
30 meters per second or over 65 miles per hour, okay
We're getting a little scary now. At a height of 50 meters an object of this mass would have
674 billion seven hundred and sixty-one million seven hundred and forty two thousand one hundred and
13.53 joules of potential energy and due to the laws of conservation of energy
This is the energy that it would be hitting the ground with proven with this formula. And that is
Let's check the same amount of energy consumed by a human adult over 80 years. What that?
Okay, Wikipedia's some day. We're gonna have to have a talk about some of the examples you've chosen for your orders of magnitude pages
Okay, so let's try something else. How many tons of TNT is Oh my god one hundred and sixty one
thousand tons of TNT?!?
released in a fraction of a second?!?
Nope. We have a new front runner that is more powerful than a
W76 nuclear warhead, you know that bomb that Trump dropped on Afghanistan the mother of all bombs
The largest conventional bomb used to date. Yeah, this is 61 of those things. Oh my god. No, no
No, calm down Austin, don't yell
Breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeathe
Impact force of this thing could level an entire city and this isn't even a move that's limited to like one Pokemon a ton of
Pokemon can learn this thing
This is like leaving atom bombs laying around for random 10 year olds to pick up the keys to then again
That is the fastest entire business model with Fallout 76,so maybe they're onto something there. So ok. Just off the bat
I'm scratching off Hail, Aeroblast, Roar of time and Spatial rend off the list
Just no way those things can do anything even remotely as bad as that. So that leaves
Magnitude and blackhole eclipse or whatever the hell it's called great
So one earthquake and one move that gently lifts an opponent into the air
Spoooooky. All right, so magnitude first then.
This one is a bit tricky to draw conclusions on. It's a move that
Randomly selects a magnitude between 1 and 10 and deals damage based on whatever number it spits out.
If and yes, this is a big if they're leaning on real-world magnitude systems like the moment magnitude scale
Which is what's used nowadays in place of the Richter scale. These numbers are logarithmic
meaning that a magnitude 10 earthquake isn't 10 times stronger than a magnitude 1 earthquake is
31.6 TRILLION times stronger.
And if this is based on the moment magnitude scale and you happen to roll at 10
This thing is serious the rock from continental crush our nuclear bomb Rock
674 Giga joules of energy this earthquake it would be unlike anything
We've ever seen before one point two three
Billion Giga joules. We are talking
Cataclysmic death this would be a megathrust earthquake stronger than any that's ever occurred on our planet before in Valdivia
Chile on May 22nd
1960 an earthquake of moment magnitude
9.5 shook the entire
freaking earth between the local devastation caused in Chile and the tsunami that ravaged Hawaii death tolls as high as
7,000 and damages to infrastructure totaled over six billion dollars in today's money. HOO HOO
I think well that would release more energy
It's hard to say what's a higher cause of death between this and the rock that would hit the ground and explode like a nuke.
So all we have to do now is rule out this black hole moves
That would probably just evaporate harmlessly into Hawking radiation and we can reach our conclusions and all have made it through this entire episode
without losing it!
Alright, so with the gravitational pull that barely overpowers the local gravity and gently lifts Pokemon up,this would be gravitational body of
(realizes he's gonna lose it)
Oh.
Okay, well
That's that's pretty massive
Three times the mass of Churyumov–Gerasimenko into this tiny black hole. That is okay
Well, wait wait a minute small black holes decay due to the Hawking radiation. No problem
So this one according to Hawking series would-
DAMN IT!
119 million years to decay?!
*epic groan*
That means that...no....
Stay calm Austin...
st-stay...
STAY...
R-ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR
THE THING WOULD FALL TO THE GROUND LIKE ANY MASSIVE OBJECT WOULD AND IT'D HIT THE GROUND WITH THE FORCE THAT WOULD MAKE YOU WISH
THAT SOMEONE DROPPED A GIANT MOUNTAIN ON YOUR HEAD! THAT AIN'T EVEN THE WORST THING!
EVERYTHING IT CAME INTO CONTACT WITH WOULD BE SUCKED INTO ITS EPICENTER, UNABLE TO ESCAPE AS THEY
ACCELERATED TOWARDS THE CENTER OF THIS BLACK HOLE, NEEDING AN ESCAPE VELOCITY
FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT TO ESCAPE IT AS IT ATE UP MATTER IT CAME INTO CONTACT WITH IT'D BE PULLED THROUGH TO THE CENTER OF OUR PLANET AS IT DRILLED THROUGH EVERYTHING IN ITS WAY AND EVENTUALLY REACHING
OUR CORE! THEN SLOWLY, EVER SO SLOWLY BUT ABSOLUTELY
TERRIFYINGLY, THE ENTIRE PLANET WOULD COLLAPSE INTO ITSELF AND BEGIN TO SPIN MASSIVELY AS IT DID SO,
KILLING EVERYONE ON EARTH!
ENERGY CAN BE NEITHER CREATED, NOR DESTROYED!
SO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF AN OBJECT THIS MASSIVE, A BLACK HOLE LIKE THIS ACTUALLY
EVAPORATED INTO HAWKING RADIATION? KEY MOTHER-PSYDUCKING WORD BEING RADIATION!?!?!
IT WOULD RELEASE ALL THE PHOTONS AT ONCE THAT IT WOULD NORMALLY RELEASE SLOWLY OVER
119 MILLION YEARS!!! A QUADRILLION
QUADRILLION JOULES OF LIGHT ENERGY! BAM! IN SECONDS! THAT'S OVER 40 MINUTES OF THE TOTAL OUTPUT
ENERGY FROM THE SUN FROM ALL ANGLES! THE WHOLE THING RELEASED IN SECONDS!!! IT WOULD BE
ARMAGEDDON TO THE PLANET EARTH! THE ENTIRE EARTH MIGHT BE SPLIT INTO PIECES AS A RADIATION WAVE OF ASTRONOMICAL, LITERALLY ASTRONOMICAL
PROPORTIONS BURST OUT LIKE A MICROWAVE OVEN OF DEATH!!!
WHY, GAME FREAK?!?!?! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!?!
AND WHY ARE YOU GIVING CHILDREN ACCESS TO BLACK HOLES?!?!?!
I'M GONNA GO CALL MY THERAPIST NOW!!!!
SINCERELY, AUSTIN!