Excuse me, but have you heard about Murder, She Wrote?
It’s just one of the finest shows ever created, starring Angela Lansbury as Jessica Fletcher,
a mystery novelist turned amateur sleuth who lives in the fictional murder capital of the
world, Cabot Cove.
If you are in the thirty-something age group and had grandparents, then you are no doubt
familiar with this series.
It seems like everyone’s grandma enjoyed this show, and that enjoyment leaked onto
and contaminated everyone in my generation.
But how can one resist?
The show was pretty unique for the time; a widowed woman in her 60s leading a successful
life writing about murder and solving horrific crimes?
For the most part, crime shows typically had a male lead, especially the more hard boiled
ones, so this was refreshing for a lot of people.
Though one can’t be sure that Jessica Fletcher wasn’t the main killer, and I am pretty
sure more murders happened in Cabot Cove than the cities actual population, but… well….
I’m sure it’s circumstantial.
If you haven’t gathered, I’m a huge Murder, She Wrote fan.
Here’s a picture of me and my gazillion DVDs; all 12 seasons, 264 episodes.
Isn’t it a beautiful sight?
I am nothing if not consistent.
The episodes are fairly formulaic; a murder happens, Jessica happens to be involved somehow,
the authorities can’t seem to get their shit together, and Jessica ends up solving
the entire case by finding some obscure piece of evidence that wasn’t even mentioned until
the end of the episode.
I have no idea how this worked 264 times but I can’t get enough of it; of course, seeing
as though there are this many episodes, not all of them can be a winner.
Such is the case with “Something borrowed, Someone Blue”, a completely wacky, ridiculous,
off-the-rails episode that aired in 1989.
I have no idea what happened with this; it was written and directed by people who had
already worked on this series, but it’s so fucking weird.
I don’t know if they were trying something new or what.
The characters are bizarre and overly animated for the tone of the episode, there are plot
points that go absolutely nowhere, and it almost too closely resembles the movie Clue.
We’ll get to that soon.
The story follows Jessica’s nephew Grady, who is about to be married to his partner,
Donna.
Grady is a different subject altogether, by the way; I could do an entire video on the
failed relationships of Grady Fletcher.
The wedding is taking place at Donna’s parents’ house in Fishkill, NY; yes, that IS a real
place, and Jessica flies in to attend the rehearsal and the wedding to follow.
The bride and groom are already getting along so well.
Donna: “Grady you did want me to keep working after all!”
Grady: “No no, really, it’s fine…”
Oh you two.
Jessica, being a very cool aunt allows them to open her gift early.
Spoilers, it’s a very shitty and useless hand mirror.
Grady: “This is the mirror your mom gave you when you got married.”
Yes Grady, it will come in handy when you’re in the desert and come across Medusa, you’ll
know when the time is right.
Hey, PushingUpRoses here.
This is a reference to 1986 Sierra Adventure game King’s Quest III: To Heir is human.
I made this joke thinking people would understand this reference but now realize that it may
in fact, not land.
Thank you, carry on.
There seems to be some issues between Grady and Donna’s parents, particularly with their
controlling behavior and attitudes about where they live and what kind of job Grady should
pursue after the wedding.
Franklin: “If you had a client who had more than 100k income in...
“ Donna: “Daddy, you promised.
No quizzes.”
This causes some tension between the two love birds but whatever who cares, let’s meet
some kooky characters.
The whole family is here and my god they are weird.
First we have Donna’s parents, Franklin and Maisy - Franklin is uptight and speaks
in exaggerated tones, and Maisy is giving me some serious Tammy Faye Messner vibes.
Maisy: “EXACTLY.”
During dinner we also meet creepy Uncle Ben.
That was...ALMOST a wink.
“Will you butter my roll?”
I know that murder mysteries tend to put in a lot of suspicious characters to throw you
off but this one is just skeevy and makes ridiculous advances at Jessica.
Ben: “I gotta get ice for my drink.
I need to cool off my hot blood.”
The fuck is that???
We also have the housekeeper, Harriet, who is just one big ol container of salt.
Harriett: “You sharpen any pencils in my house, you do it over a wastebasket, okay?”
This is one of the many scenes that reminds me so much of the movie, Clue.
I couldn’t even focus on the argument going down because all I could think about was “Oh
geez, I really need to show a side-by-side comparison of this in my video.
I digress though, ALL of these characters are so eccentric - it’s like they were rehearsing
for a musical or a stage show because their acting is so amplified, I kept forgetting
that this was supposed to be a murder mystery.
Maisy: “It’s the end of the world that’s all, the end of the world.
And what are you doing, Franklin?
Sitting here smoking with Jessica.”
Franklin: “Calm down Maisy, before another gray cell hits the big light.”
And More guests show up after dinner, Uncle Ziggy, who seems to be doing his best John
Denver impersonation, and Valerie, his new southern bride.
Harriet sees Valerie and gives her a LOOK.
Like DAGGER eyes.
Meanwhile, Uncle Ben is up to no good and knocks on Jessica’s door late into the night
for a booty call.
Ben: “You look ravishing.”
Jessica: “You look tired.”
HAHAHAHA.
YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT.
In another moment of misdirection we see Harriet get into a needlessly aggressive argument
with the caterer, who wants to use the kitchen to make the wedding’s food.
Harriett: “You were supposed to deliver that food prepared.”
Caterer: “Listen flapjaw, I could get a pile of business out of this shindig and I
WILL NOT SERVE RAW PORKBALLS.”
Everyone is SO hostile to each other, even these two and they hadn’t met prior to this
event.
“Why do you hef to be mad?”
Jessica makes an attempt to talk to Franklin about his overbearing manner towards Grady
and Donna even though this plot point is really...really bad, and the conversation goes absolutely
nowhere.
Franklin: “Love huh?”
Jessica: “Just as I loved my husband and I dare say that you love your wife.”
Franklin: “Look, no offense…”
But I hate my wife.
So anyway, the cook is dead.
You know what they say, you cannot make an omelette without breaking some eggs, every
cook will tell you that.
(but look what happened to the cook!)
Because she is so conspicuously hidden behind this bush no one suspects any foul play and
people start discussing her possible whereabouts.
The entire family gets into a tizzy and starts spewing all their opinions while Jessica just
calmly stands there thinking, “Well fuck my life.”
The wedding must go on, though.
In another weird plot point that goes nowhere, a new character named Clara is introduced.
She shows up at the wedding claiming to be someone’s cousin, though nobody seems acquainted
with her.
She’s a wedding crasher.
Clara: “How has the food been?”
Jessica: “Oh excellent, really delicious.”
Clara: “Good.
When do you think they’ll start serving it?”
It’s funny because… she’s… hungry, I guess.
While that’s happening, Grady books it to Donna’s room to talk to her about her parents.
Maisy: “MICHAEL NOOOOO” WTF holy shit, I’ve never seen someone react so strongly
to catching someone wandering around a door.
Maisy: “MICHAEL NOOOO” Apparently Maisy just wanted to stop Grady from seeing Donna
before the wedding proper, who is busy getting dressed.
Donna: “No more ice cream for the rest of my life.”
...You’re kidding me, right?
Who wrote that line?
I want to have a word with you.
Grady figures out how to open a window and sneaks off to talk to Donna about their future,
and finally seems to grow a spine, telling her that he wants to find his own job, sans
help from her father.
You’d think these things would be discussed way before the wedding and not literally hours
before, but here we are.
The guests start pouring in and Grady has a slight existential crisis, telling Jessica
that Donna would be better with her ex, Wilfred.
And oh yes, we’ll get to see Wilfred soon because for whatever reason, he got invited
to the wedding.
So we’re halfway into this episode and no one has found Harriet yet, so we gotta get
on that.
And let me tell you, this is the most ridiculous discovery of a body I think I’ve ever seen.
I’m not going to say anything, I’m just going to let this play.
What in the HELL was that sound effect?
What WAS that?
This doesn’t happen just once, oh no, it happens TWICE within a 30 second span!
Of course the fuzz is brought in immediately, but like all good episodes of Murder, She
Wrote, the detective on the case has absolutely no idea what he’s doing so Jessica has to
come in and take over.
This happens EVERY time.
Jessica: “Ah, chief Slocom, I’m sure you noticed that Harriett seems to be clutching
a piece of wrapping paper in her hand, and it looks to me like a piece I saw on a gift
in the foyer.”
Slocom: “..gift?”
The body cannot be moved until the crime photographer gets there, but he’s been delayed, so Jessica
comes up with a plan.
You know who’s just as good?
THE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER.
This’ll be great for the wedding album.
Chief Slocom: “I want ALL angles; top, bottom, sideways…”
Photographer: “yes, yes!
It’s not like she’s gonna wanna buy copies or anything.”
Is NO one sad about this?
The detective thinks it’s a professional job, but Jessica knows better, and tries to
guide him through the case.
Jessica: “Now it seems to me that that piece of wrapping paper in Harriett’s hand COULD
have been an afterthought to make her murder look more like a burglary.
Slocom: “OH SHOOT.”
So because the murderer is likely still at the wedding, it will need to be delayed.
Jessica and Chief Slocom relocate to the kitchen where they discuss why the murderer chose
a meat thermometer, meanwhile Donna ends up being the one with enough gumption to approach
her father and tell him they don’t need his assistance, and then…Wilfred shows up.
This guy.
This fuckin’ guy.
He was the King of Camp WAY before Paul Rudd.
Wilfred: “From Pop’s drug store, always was your favorite, remember?”
Sir, that is a Whitman’s Sampler by Russell Stover, you can’t fool me.
Don’t worry, this goes nowhere.
I am not even sure why this character was included - to showcase Grady’s ever growing
list of insecurities?
Speaking of inconsequential characters, we better check in with the wedding crasher,
whom everyone is now suspicious of.
Jessica sits down with her and catches her in a lie, and things start to get a little
sentimental; she explains that she’s lonely and just likes to go to a party every now
and then...but then it just nosedives RIGHT back into wacky comic relief.
Clara: “It’s not much fun being alone, you know.”
Jessica: “No, it isn’t.”
Clara: “Do you know when they will start serving the food?”
Even though the wedding is delayed, Donna continues to get ready with the help of her
mother, when she finds Harriett’s body in her bathroom.
Donna: “It’s Harriett.
SHE’S IN MY BATHROOM.”
Maisy: “Well FINALLY we’ve been looking all over for her!”
This is hands down the best expression I’ve ever seen anyone make ever.
They haphazardly move Harriett’s body into SOMEONE else’s room, perfect.
Nailed it.
No one will ever notice.
Just kidding, of course someone noticed, look at how they hid her!
And once again, this entire scene is SO much like Clue, it just can’t be a coincidence.
The moving body, this scream followed by the other characters scrambling upstairs to a
bouncy little tune?
This HAS to be on purpose.
Everything is going so poorly that Donna and Grady consider eloping, which is the most
logical thing I’ve heard anyone say.
I can’t imagine getting married on the same day I found a corpse in my bed.
I mean, maybe if I found one under the floorboards, that would be cooler, but in the bed?
That’s just tacky.
After a lot of weird shenanigans, nobody has figured out who the murderer is.
Even Jessica is stumped until she talks to Donna about something that happened off screen.
Turns out Harriett had recognized Valerie from a previous housekeeping job and had dirt
on her, but the viewer would never know that because this reveal happened minutes before
the episode ended.
Jessica: “Donna are you saying that Harriett called Valerie Mrs. Parker?”
Donna: “Oh yes, just this morning in the kitchen.”
I love Murder, She Wrote but a lot of episodes are structured like this; you can follow along
as much as you want and make some educated guesses but the conclusion is always based
on some obscure evidence that only shows up near the end of the case.Slocom: “The housekeeper
may have threatened to blackmail or expose you, you stabbed her in the kitchen then planted
that wrapping paper in her hand when you moved the body.”
Since the murder is solved the wedding is saved, YAAY!
As you can imagine everyone is quite frazzled by the whole murder thing; Grady especially
looks unsure of the situation.
His face says no… but Cousin Clara’s says yes!
Let’s recap: Donna and Grady are getting married, the housekeeper gets murdered with
a meat thermometer, Donna’s ex shows up and he looks ridiculous, Uncle Ben is creepy
as shit, some kids find the corpse, the body gets moved twice, everyone is on the verge
of a mental breakdown and cousin Clara is super hungry.
I love Murder, She Wrote - it is one of my favorite shows and I could marathon the episodes
all day, but wow, this REALLY kills the cook.
If that wasn’t already an existing phrase, it is now.
It’s like someone saw an episode of the Monkees and thought, “You know, that could
work for Murder, She Wrote.
Throw in some weird freeze frames and goofy sound effects.
CUT.
PRINT.
NAILED IT.
The filler is just excessive, too; even though the series does have its cheesy moments, it
does tend to stay on the dramatic side with a few comedic parts here and there, but I
somehow still love this episode because it’s just...so so odd.
I can’t say it’s a GOOD episode but it is...something.
In fact I don’t want to deter people from seeing this, PLEASE go seek it out, I need
you all to see this abomination.
I love talking about all things Murder, She Wrote so if you have a favorite episode, or
one that you want to see me cover, please drop me a comment.
Ben: “I need to cool off my hot blood.”
Ehh heh heh heh heh….what a skeez.
Hey everyone, thank you for watching my episode review on Murder, She Wrote: If you liked
this video, please consider lightly jabbing the thumbs up button, and if you want to see
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the description.
As always, see you in the next one!