(Anthony) Monopoly is so much fun.
I love wasting six hours of my life.
(Ian) SHUT UP!!!
- (cop siren wails) - (sighs)
Man, we are so screwed.
Don't worry, dude, because I got this.
A Get Out of Jail Free Card?
Do you really think that's gonna get me
out of an indecent exposure ticket?
Yeah, if real life were more like board games,
this wouldn't even be a problem.
Do you realize how stupid it'd be
if board games were like real life?
IF BOARD GAMES WERE REAL
SNAKES & LADDERS
(screaming)
CHESS
You're a dead man!
Bring it on.
(battle cries)
Why can I only move in L shapes?
Just come to me!
I can only move diagonally.
(battle cries)
Dammit!
(battle cries)
BATTLESHIP
Fire a missile at B9.
Firing a missile at B9.
(BOOM)
Did-Did we get 'em?
Uh...
Nope, looks like we just hit a busfull of orphan children.
(agonized screaming)
You know, we should really come up with a better method than this.
Like what?
OPERATION
And now it's time to replace his heart valve.
This is a very delicate procedure.
- (electricity buzzes) - (screaming)
Come on, man, you touched his wishbone.
Give me a try.
Ugh! I touched his ding dong.
- (electricity crackles) - (grunting)
APPLES to APPLES
Hungry Hungry Hippos
My god, why are all the hippos dead?
Well, I put all their food between the four of them,
then I glued their bodies to the ground
so they couldn't move, and then I slammed my fist repeatedly
on their backs to force their necks
to stretch out to try to eat their food.
I dunno. It sounded like a good idea at the time.
Twister
Oh my god!
He's being ripped apart!
LIFE
- (baby wails) - (phone rings)
Well, this sucks.
Cards Against Humanity
So what do you like to do in your free time?
Jerk off into a pool of children's tears.
I also like f*cking children in caves.
bop it!
(game) Bop it!
- (cymbal crash) - (game) Twist it!
- (spring boings) - (game) Pull it.
- (whoosh) - (game) Kiss it!
- What? - (game) Kiss it! Just the tip.
NO!
(game) But I love you, babe.
(game clatters)
Ew.
CANDY LAND
Oh, boy!
The whole world's made of candy!
It's a dream come true!
(cheerful music)
(both gurgle)
DIABETES
IT'S NO JOKE
See, I told you that would be stupid.
Step out of the car, criminal!
I'm the capt'!
No!
Put your hands in the air
and wave 'em around like you just don't care
that you're going to prison for 10-15 years.
- For what? - Indecent exposure!
Yeah, well no one would have even seen it
if you didn't pull me out of the car!
Yeah, I guess it's pretty
- BULL SH*T!! - (Anthony yelps)
Wait... what the heck in the world is that?
(Anthony whimpers)
"Get Out of Jail Free Card"?
Okay, you're good to go, sir.
Sweet! (laughing)
STOP RIGHT THERE!
(gunfire)
That's for leaving the scene of a crime.
Have a good day now!
Justice serveeeed!
(cop) Hey there, buckos!
Click the subscribe button for a Get Out of Jail Free Card
so I don't bust a cap in your ass.
Click the video on the left for bloopers
and to see a deleted scene from Guess Who.
Do you recognize any of these--
It's number three.
No, no, let me guess.
(cop) And click the video on the right to watch
Every Instagram Ever.
(lisping) Sir, you've been here for three hours.
Could you please just eat your food and leave?
No, we're good.
- (dish shatters) - I'll accept the check, please.
(cop) And if you're watching this on one of those fancy
mobile phones or tablets,
all the links are in the description below.
Bye bye now.
I gotta go shoot some more people.