chuckle I'm extremely extremely driven and have high expectations for myself
and my team it appears that now I may have pushed
them too hard and they're developing negative attitudes I feel like you're
going to say play the game and develop relationships with them but should I
really just ignore Who I am
should I try to be someone different than myself
yeah well you called it question person whoever asked this question
you called it I that's exactly what I'm gonna say I'm gonna say you need to play
the game look at what your current path has done look at what you the real you
look what it's done real you has created a negative attitude with all your team
that's the real you so is that what you want to perpetuate creating negative
attitudes against you're doing with your team and by the way they're just getting
started and if you think negative if you think you're gonna keep acting the same
way and the negative attitudes are gonna somehow miraculously turn positive
that's not happening they're gonna get more negative yeah so when people have
negative attitudes I saw somebody quoted this the other day on on social medias
on Twitter someone you know know the quote was like no no no it's not my
fault when nice my subordinates have a bad
attitude or something like that and about a bunch of people responded you
should read the book extreme ownership because it absolutely is your fault it
is your fault if your team has a bad attitude it's your fault you're the
leader you own the attitude if their attitude is bad then it's then it's
actually your fault now this is not to say that you can't have a bad apple on
the team that's completely possible and who's responsible for getting rid of the
bad apples you are you're the boss because the fact the matter is you might
have a bad apple on your team you might even have two bad apples on your team
you don't have 14 bad apples on the team when you have 14 battles that apples on
the team guess who the problem is it's you so here's what you do a little
little tactical advice try and get some perspective from them try
understand where they're coming from what challenges they face what's pulling
them off track and when you do this you kind of take ownership of it in your
approach so you said hey guys I I realize I don't think I'm really seeing
things from your point of view and I need to because I'm here to support you
and without you performing well then we fail so I think I need to do a better
job of supporting you and I can only do that if I know what your issues are so I
can do my best to get them fixed so what can I do better to help you all right so
now they're gonna start telling you all here's where there's this problem
there's that problem and then what you do is you listen to their problems you
actually listen to the problems you don't say quit complaining no you
actually listen to their problems and then you actually see what you can do to
mitigate their issues and as you do that guess what's happening you're actually
forming a bond you're actually forming into a team because you're working
together to solve issues again I it sounds really simple right
but clearly here's someone asking this question now again like if you have some
members of the team that are that are actual negative complaining whiners then
you might have to get rid of them and and that's part of being a leader is
knowing when you have to get rid of someone you know I sometimes people they
take the extreme ownership attitude and they say you know what I'm the leader I
own everything I'm extreme ownership and if someone's
not performing well then that's my fault yeah that's my fault I need to coach a
more I need to I need to do is my fault that my team member is not doing well
and that's correct it is your fault it's your responsibility to train them coach
and mentor them and do whatever else you can do to fix them but at the end of the
day if they still are not competent at their task and you've done everything
you can it's you're responsible to get rid of them that is also a part of
ownership so yeah like I'll have someone complaining that they've got oh this you
know one of my team leaders like they're talking about their
subordinate team leaders a little more like this these guys he's just a bad
leader mm-hmm oh why is he still here they owe your team that team isn't doing
well because they have a bad leader whose fault is that
hmm who the leaders fault no it's your fault you're in charge of the leader
yeah it's ridiculous so back to the original question your whatever you
called it you're who you actually are is not working well he probably is thinking
he's a Steve Jobs type a.m. we got to do this but it's not working and he's not
in a unicorn business model that's still making a ton of money regardless so what
does he have to do play the game build the relationships see the perspective of
your team so that you can actually form a team yeah be a better leader that's
basically what I'm saying yeah so they in it's interesting the you know
what they call framing you know you frame something something a certain way
to make it kind of sound a certain way whatever so you say extremely driven and
have high expectations for myself and my team it appears that now I may have
pushed them too hard and they're developing negative attitudes so having
extreme being extremely driven and having high expectations doesn't equal
equal driving them too hard to fully develop that negative those are two
different yeah you know you can still be exchanged so yeah you can absolutely
have extremely high expectations you can be driving extremely hard and you can
still have a incredibly positive attitude with our team yeah no doubt
yeah good point so and then it gets equated into that's just who I am
so he just kind of put it all into one ball and without one there's no other
kind of situation it's just not how it is No so apparently you might be
committed he might be committed to being all of these things and that's who I am
and that's kind of it you know kind of thing and I think that's like the
mistake plenty people make we say this a lot where people would be like hey I'm
just straightforward you know take me take it or leave it kind of thing and be
like okay but you're gonna in your case loose you know in your in
your situation that's the big piece is that in their case they're gonna lose
yeah so let me ask you this question if you're so driven and you have such high
expectations that you want to win so bad but the way you're performing as a human
being and as a leader is gonna make you lose then what are you supposed to do
you change the way you behave you leave a better leader yeah that's what you do
yes sir so you take and this is total speculation on my part but you keep kids
so this equation that we're presented with it's being extremely driven keep
that high expectations keep that pushing your team hard keep that I would say to
harden that's gonna be a judgment call from day to day for sure um but there's
a part in here that's more implied that you're being an asshole somewhere in
here you've been now so how about you take out that part
take out the beam the asshole part and then keep everything else see how that
goes yeah cuz you kind of know when you're being a dick I'm saying unless
you like not being honest with yourself there are there's some people that don't
there's something don't get it there's some people who don't get it all right
because it's like you know how like when you don't like people they just can't
step outside of themselves okay that to me I wouldn't care kind of thing and
like grow breath you know do not me and well I'm not yeah yeah you're right they
kept attached yeah absolutely people like that don't know yeah they're
socially incapable of receiving you know clues social clues yeah social cues from
people yeah you know they don't see the look in their face when they're talking
to them yeah that's true I mean I'm thinking of like three kinds of
existence yeah also that then that would go back to what you're saying
I say get input from them yes yes so you gotta kind of yeah yeah you do it's a
solvable problem oh this is a very solvable problem and I've seen people
solve this problem I've helped people solve this exact problem
you know and the weird thing is they think and it's part you go but it's also
part they're just no one person they think they're doing a great thing like
they think that they're driving when they're everything that they're doing in
their mind they're just awesome for being super pushing so hard it's just
the way I am and all that stuff and they think it's awesome but again if you want
to win so bad then you have to play the game you won't win by abusing people you
won't win with a team anyways it won't it won't happen yeah it's no use being
the best dancer if you're not invited on the dance floor next question actually
that problem is so solvable that you could this is possible well you could
just show just that much like more I don't know caring or respect just that
much respect and do for like two weeks yeah just the idea that just the fact
that you're doing it now people will be like hey where's this thing here's the
thing if a person has an ego which this person could very well have a big ego
because that's why they have these high expectations and that's why they're so
driven because they just they if they have that kind of ego that's the person
that you can't help because and they just look at the team and say those guys
should be hard workers yeah those guys aren't working as hard as me they're not
as focused as I am you know they don't care as much as I do so to everyone else
on the team has a problem yeah but but I'm perfect and you can't you know look
at how driven I am look at how focused I am look at how high my expectations are
of myself but if you can't here's another thing if your team cannot relate
to your expectations like they don't even they don't even see them as
realistic or achievable or anything well good what could are your
expectations yeah what good are they they're not any good no good they don't
make any sense