YOU'RE IN FOR A TREAT, LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN.
MY NEXT GUEST IS A DAMN FUNNY
MAN YOU KNOW FROM "IN LIVING
COLOR" AND HIS NEW TV SERIES,
"THE COOL KIDS," AND HE IS JUST
ONE OF THE DAMN FUNNIEST FELLAS
I HAVE EVER HUNG OUT WITH.
PLEASE WELCOME DAVID ALAN
GRIER!
♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: LOOK AT THAT.
LOOK AT THOSE PEOPLE.
THAT WAS A SEMI-OVATION.
>> IT WAS-- THAT'S MY LIFE IN A
NUTSHELL.
A SEMI-OVATION.
>> Stephen: JUST A SMATTERING
OF PEOPLE ON THEIR FEET DOWN
HERE, UP THERE.
JUST PLEASED TO SEE YOU.
JUST--
>> YES!
>> Stephen: WELL, I'M THRILLED
TO SEE YOU.
>> WELL, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: I HAVE NOT SEEN
YOU IN AGES.
AND AS I SAID TO THE PEOPLE, IF
YOU'RE GOING TO HANG WITH
SOMEBODY WHO IS FUNNY, THERE ARE
VERY FEW PEOPLE WHO ARE AS FUNNY
TO HANG WITH AS DAVID ALAN
GRIER.
THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: YOU GOT YOUR START
IN THEATER.
THREE-TIME TONY NOMINEE.
>> YEAH, MAN.
( APPLAUSE )
MY FIRST JOB.
>> Stephen: WHAT WAS YOUR
FIRST JOB?
>> MY FIRST PROFESSIONAL JOB WAS
IN A MUSICAL CALLED "THE FIRST,"
AT THE MARTIN BECK THEATER,
WHICH HAS BEEN RENAMED.
BUT, YEAH, IT WAS WEEKS OUT OF
DRAMA SCHOOL, AND STARRING IN
THIS MUSICAL-- YOU ALL KNOW IT
WAS ABOUT THE LIFE OF JACKIE
ROBINSON, THE FIRST AFRICAN
AMERICAN MAJOR LEAGUE
BALLPLAYER, WHICH THE WOHL STORY
ITSELF BEGS FOR A MUSICAL!
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: WAS IT DANCING
WITH BATS AND STUFF?
>> IT WAS DANCING WITH BATS.
( LAUGHTER )
LITERALLY!
DANCING WITH BATS.
AND I'M NOT KIDDING.
POINT YOUR TOE, THRUST THE BAT,
AND PUMP AND PUMP AND BACK.
OH, YEAH, ALL OF THAT.
>> Stephen: WERE YOU NOMINATED
FOR THAT?
>> YEAH.
YOU SOUND SURPRISED.
>> Stephen: NO!
YOU-- YOU SOUND SURPRISED WHILE
YOU'RE TELLING ME.
>> TOW IT WAS GREAT.
I'M LIKE
♪ MOMMA I CAN PLAY THAT GAME ♪
YOU KNOW, STUFF LIKE THAT.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: ONE THING THAT
HAPPENS A LOT ON BROADWAY WHEN
FAMOUS PEOPLE COME SEE THE SHOW
THEY COME BACKSTAGE AND TALK.
>> WOW.
>> Stephen: DID YOU EVER HAVE
ANY OF THOSE EXPERIENCES?
I'M SURE DID YOU.
LIKE WITH-- WELL, OKAY, SO IN
THE FIRST TIME I MET PAUL
McCARTNEY.
HE CAME.
I MET GENE KELLEY.
>> Stephen: YOU MET GENE
KELLEY!
>> YEAH, GENE KELLEY.
BUT I GUESS PROBABLY THE HUGEST
PERSON, I WAS DOING-- I WAS
GOING TO TAKE OVER FOR WHOOPI
GOLDBERG, AND IN "A FUNNY THING
HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE
FORUM."
AND THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY DOES
THEIR ANNUAL FUND-RAISER ON
BROADWAY, AND BILL CLINTON WAS
PRESIDENT, AND SHE INVITED ME TO
COME TO SEE, YOU KNOW, THE
PERFORMANCE.
SO WE'RE BACKSTAGE, AND BILL
CLINTON COMES IN.
AND AT THE TIME-- THIS WAS '97--
HE HAD HIS OWN KEY LIGHT.
I MEAN, HE APPEARED, AND IT WAS
LIKE, "OH, MY GOD!
THAT'S BILL CLINTON!"
>> Stephen: IT'S OVERWHELMING
AT TIMES.
>> HE REALLY WAS.
AND HE CAME OVER TO ME, AND HE
GOES, "DAVID, HAVE WE MET?
HAVE I MET YOU BEFORE?"
FIRST OF ALL, I SAID,
"MR. PRESIDENT, I WANT TO THANK
YOU.
MY MOM VOTED FOR YOU.
SHE CAMPAIGNED AND YOU SENT HER
A SIGNED PICTURE, AND I WANTED
TO THANK YOU."
AND I ACTUALLY BILL AND HILLARY
CLINTON.
I MET THEM IN 1983 IN ARKANSAS
WHEN WE WERE FILMING "SOLDIER
STORY," ON THIS BALLFIELD.
AND I TOLD HIM THE WHOLE STORY.
AND HE WAS LIKE, "OH, WELL,
THAT'S AS MAZING."
SO LATER ON, THERE'S A BIG HUGE
CAST PHOTO WE TOOK ONSTAGE, AND
WHEEP GOES, "DAVID, COME, COME,
COME, I WANT YOU YOU TO BE IN
THIS PHOTO UPON."
WE WERE ALL POSING THERE.
AL GORE WAS THERE WITH HIS
DAUGHTER.
AND RIGHT BEFORE THE CAM
SNAPPED, BILL CLINTON SAID AL I
MET THIS ACTOR DAVID ALAN GRIER,
I MET HIM IN 1983 ON A BASEBALL
FIELD WITH HILLARY."
AND I'M SITTING THERE GOING,
"THIS DUDE STOLE MY STORY."
( LAUGHTER )
AND RIGHT BEFORE THE CAMERA
SNAPS, I SAID, "YEAH, YOU
REMEMBER, BECAUSE I JUST TOLD
YOU THE STORY"-- CLICK!
I WAS, LIKE, YOU'RE NOT TAKING
MY, IS IT BUDDY!
OH, MY GOD.
I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT.
>> Stephen: NOW, YOU-- YOU GOT
THE NEW SERIES "THE COOL KIDS."
>> YES.
>> Stephen: YOU PLAY AN OLD
MAN.
ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO BEING
OLD?
>> I-- LET ME TELL YOU, THESE
ARE THE BEST COSTUMES I'VE EVER
WORN.
WE HAVE ORTHOPEDIC GRANDPA
SHOES.
THEY'RE LIKE PILLOWS.
>> Stephen: OH!
>> THEY'RE THE MOST
COMFORTABLE-- ALL THE PANTS ARE
STRETCHY PANTS.
( LAUGHTER )
AND--
>> Stephen: THIS SOUNDS
FANTASTIC.
>> IT'S LIKE PAJAMAS!
I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS YEARS
AGO!
ONCE I GET IN OLD-GUY STUFF,
THEY'RE SO WORRIED WE'RE GOG DIE
OF HEART ATTACKS, THAT IF I SAY,
"I'M A LITTLE TIRED."
"GUYS, CUT TAPE!
DAVID'S TIRED.
GET HIM TO HIS DRESSING ROOM!
BREAK NOW!"
IT IS THE BEST GIG EVER.
>> Stephen: THEY SAY OLD AGE
IS WASTED ON THE ELDERLY.
( LAUGHTER )
YOU GOT INTO TROUBLE-- YOU GOT
INTO TROUBLE-- YOU GOT INTO A
FIGHT WITH SOMEBODY ONLINE.
YOU LIKE TO COOK, AND YOU GOT
INTO A FIGHT WITH SOMEBODY OVER
COLLARD GREENS.
YOU CAN EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED
HERE?
>> WELL...
>> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU POST
AND WHY DID PEOPLE GET ANGRY AT
YOU.
>> THIS IS A VIDEO --
>> Stephen: A VIDEO.
>> OF MY COLLARD GREENS.
I JUST PUT THEM IN THE POT.
NOW, I POSTED THIS ON INSTAGRAM
AND I WAS ATTACKED BY SEVERAL
DOZEN MEMBERS OF MY OWN RACE WHO
QUESTIONED MY COOK ABILITY,
THINGS LIKE, "WELL, WHERE'S THE
PORK KNUCKLES?"
"WHERE'S THE SMOKED TURKEY
BOOTY?"
"WHERE'S THE SQUIRREL
INTESTINES?"
I'M LIKE, "THIS IS A VEGETABLE
DISH."
AND I'M VERY SENSITIVE.
AND I GOT OVERLY EMOTIONAL AND I
RESPONDED TO EACH AND EVERY
PERSON IN A VERY PROFANE WAY!
>> Stephen: NO!
NO!
YOU CAN'T.
>> STUFF LIKE, IF I SAID--
"THESE ARE MY GREENS.
IT'S MY HOUSE!
I WILL MAKE THEM THE WAY I WANT
TO.
BUTT OUT!"
AND THEY'RE LIKE, "OKAY..."
BUT THIS ONE WOMAN WROTE-- IT
WAS LIKE A ONE-ACT PLAY, YOU
KNOW.
SHE GOES, "I CAME HOME, I
CHECKED MY COMPUTER, OH, LORD,
MY HUSBAND, MY BABY, WERE ALL
SURROUNDING ME.
'BABY WHAT'S WRONG?
WHY ARE YOU ALL UP IN SORTS'?
I SAID, BABY I CAN'T SPEAK.
DAVID ALAN GRIER IS POSTING
GREENS."
THAT POST HAS BEEN REMOVED BY
HER, BECAUSE LET'S JUST SAY I
RESPONDED PASSIONATELY.
>> Stephen: UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
>> YEAH, I RESPONDED
PASSIONATELY.
BY THE WAY, THEY CAME OUT GREAT.
>> Stephen: DID YOU END UP PUT
ANYTHING BACK FAT IN THERE?
>> I'M GOING TO TALK TO YOU.
I'M GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT I
DID.
THESE GREENS WERE PREPARED IN A
VERY RICH, SAVORY BROTH, OKAY.
THAT'S REASON WHY YOU PUT A BONE
IN SOUP, IN COLLARD GREENS.
IT'S TO FLAVOR THE BROTH.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE BY
THEMSELVES, COLLARD GREENS ARE
LIKE EATING DRY WALL.
>> CARDBOARD.
>> Stephen:ITARY A PUNISHMENT
FROM GOD.
>> THEY ARE.
BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING--
THEY GET OUT OF YOU FASTER THAN
THEY GET IN YOU.
SO IT'S-- IT'S A GIFT.
IT'S A GIFT!
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
>> GREAT SEEING YOU!
>> Stephen: "THE COOL KIDS" AIRS
FRIDAYS ON FOX.
DAVID ALAN GRIER, EVERYBODY!