Ruth: I never suspected that it would be cancer.
I think you just don't in our age group.
All I knew was that with chemo, you lose your hair,
so that was the only thing I really expected to happen.
My hair was hanging on a bit and it was just really nice and
I was like maybe I'll be the one person it doesn't happen to
but then obviously it did happen.
One moment I was fine and doing whatever I wanted
the next moment they were like,
"You have to go straight to hospital."
I had chemotherapy and surgery
I was sent to the States for proton therapy
which is like a targeted form of radiotherapy.
As the treatment carried on I just got more and more tired.
I think about three months after treatment finished
I was the most tired I've ever been.
People were so understanding during treatment
but after treatment's finished it's like,
"Okay you've had your time in the spotlight, now time to move on."
When actually the fatigue got so much worse
All your friends sleep and then they feel refreshed and get up and go.
You feel like there's a separation because you can't do
everything that they do.
My consultant mentioned that being active helped
but it was trying to find the balance.
I'm quite used to pushing myself
with exercise but if you push yourself then it just wipes you out for the
next few days.
So I did a lot of running before treatment.
The radiation damaged my pelvis,
so I can't really run long distances
or like run how I want to
So I had to look around for another activity
and I started doing a bit of open water swimming.
I just kind of feel energized and invigorated
I am tired but it's not the exhaustion that fatigue leaves me with.
So I'm going to swim the Serpentine
I'm kind of just looking at other open water swimming challenges.
Before cancer I didn't really need to think that much
before activities. I could just kind of go for a swim, go for a run
and then go out and see my friends
but I just have to kind of... Take a step back.
Charlotte: I didn't realise that fatigue wasn't just like tiredness.
It dominated like every decision you had to make.
Joy: You just gaze off into the distance sometimes.
Charlotte: We'll ask you something then you'll just look somewhere
We'll be like "Ruth, you're not listening..."
and you're like "I'm so tired. I can't even form my words right now."
Jane: Do you think the fatigue is the biggest issue at the moment?
Ruth: Yeah
Jane: Because I'm often asked "What's the worst thing?" for you.
Ruth: Because it affects me daily
and it means I can't work full-time.
I just feel like I'm almost elderly
So my advice for anyone going through fatigue... Make life easy for yourself
whenever possible. So that's in terms of getting to bed at a decent hour
and making sure you're getting enough sleep because that definitely helps.
Eating well, avoiding things with loads of sugar
cause then you get sugar highs and sugar lows,
which makes everything a lot worse.
When you have a bit more energy
just think about how you can make life easier for yourself in the next
week or so.
I also have an emergency bit of money just set aside
in case I need to get a cab home.
Make sure you stand up for yourself.
You kind of have to be
really explicit and say "I can't do that", and that's with friends
as well as employers.
Look on websites like work with cancer and the Macmillan website.
You need to be really clear on your rights
because when you have had cancer
you are then defined as disabled for the rest of your life
So there are certain legal requirements, like employers have to make
reasonable adjustments.
So I had a list of things like: more flexible hours, being
able to go and take breaks, having a quiet room where I could just lie down.
My main manager knows about the cancer
and also the fatigue and they've been
really good at working with me.
To kind of be seen an asset rather than a problem helps a lot.
For parents or like carers to know... Fatigue is real.
And it's so much more than just tiredness.
I know with my own parents I have been guilty
of just letting them do too much for me.
They ask my sisters to do things
instead of me, and I know I can definitely get up and do them.
So I usually have to say actually, you can ask me to do that.
But I think it's maybe just having an honest and open discussion with your child
about their fatigue.
Ruth: What do you do to help me with my fatigue?
Charlotte: I think it's just like really practical things.
Like for instance for your birthday
when we took you to see a musical, we were like we should book something in the
afternoon rather than the evening, because she's gonna be too tired to do
something in the evening.
Joy: Thinking before I ask you to do something. Instead of being
like let's do this.. Oh no, wait, you can't. Let's do this... oh no, that wouldn't be a great time.
So you don't have to feel like we're going out of our way.
Ruth: Well I just worry that you guys are missing out
on doing stuff that you want to do.
Especially on holiday, when it seems like people want to go and do stuff.
Joy: Well we wouldn't want to do it without you... that sounds cheesy.
Ruth: I think completing treatment is a really mixed bag,
because there's so much expectation.
This is like the moment you've been waiting for
in my case for 11 months.
Everyone's really happy, but you're just wondering...
When will I ever get back to how I was before?
And I recently talked to my consultant about it.
She was like "It can last your entire life."
I feel like I've been given a
second chance at life now.
I finished treatment and I've
started to feel a lot better, I moved to London, I'm living
with friends, I'm working...
And I'm just quite excited about life.