This is a story of a girl named Snow White.
hi I'm snow white snow white lived in a cottage in the woods with Seven Dwarves
actually one dwarf with seven personalities but our story doesn't
begin here our story begins with an eagle queen. I'm the eagle queen. The eagle queen
was very vain and she spent much of her time looking into her magic mirror.
Almost every day she would ask the Mirror Mirror Mirror in my hand who's
the fairest in the land in the mirror would always answer mighty queen it is
true the fairest in the land is you this would please the eagle queen who is very
vain but little did she know that in her kingdom was born a child. Her parents
named her Snow White for her skin was as white as snow. And it wasn't long before
the baby Snow White grew up to be a beautiful young maiden that's me so one
day the eagle Queen asked the mirror her usual question: Mirror Mirror in my hand
who's the fairest in the land but then the mirror said thou is fair and
all tis true but Snow White tis fairer than you this enraged the
queen who declared that Snow White must dye. Arrgh! Snow White must dye and so the
eagle Queen called upon her most fierce and cruel hunting dog Oh Oh fierce and
cruel hunting dog thou art the fiercest and cruelest of
all my hunting dogs yeah I know find this Snow White
take her out alone into the forest and you know what to do
next. Um should I like her face no I have declared that Snow White must dye oh
okay right begone fierce and cruel hunting dog and so the hunting dog went
off to find snow white Snow White happened to be wandering nearby and she
stopped when she saw the fierce and cruel hunting dog fierce and cruel
hunting dog dust thou mean me harm well I'm not your face but why does thou mean
me harm I have done no wrong the eagle Queen
doesn't like you being the fairest of them all it's not my fault I'm the
fairest I didn't ask for it sorry orders your orders come on what
does that mean to do to me hunting dog oh how does probably just gonna eat you
up Couldst thou not simply tell the Queen that
you have eaten me up yes that would be lying but your lie would spare my life
and I would be grateful forever I don't want to be trouble over this there will
be no trouble I promise to hide in the woods for the rest of my days all right
but you better hide good thank you cruel and vicious hunting dog and so snow
white ran off into the forest and the hunting dog returned to the Queen so
Cruel and vicious hunting dog thou has returned so soon I trust those following
my orders oh yeah definitely definitely follow those orders thou does not seem
so sure where is this Snow White oh she's right here in my tummy
young man we shall see and so the eagle Queen raised her mirror
and said Mirror Mirror in my hand who's the
in the land thou is fair this much is true
but Snow White is still fairer than you Oh
and so the eagle Queen knew that she had been tricked so she began to hatch an
evil plan I shall hatch an eagle plan
Snow White fled through the forest until she came across a little cottage a
little cottage I shall hide here Snow White began cleaning up the cottage so
she could stay in it but then she heard a sound at the door
Snow White did not know that the cottage belonged to Seven Dwarfs actually one
dwarf with seven personalities what is thou doing in our cottage sorry sir my
name is Snow White I did not know that this home is occupied
didn't know it was occupied? Likely story then.
what has happened to thine voice oh oh sorry sister that was just one of my
other personalities that's a little distracting oh well for someone who just
came into my house you're acting awfully rude. couldst thou please let me stay
as you can see I can clean. Uh. Say you can clean mm-hmm well I guess this place
could use some cleaning around here mm-hmm I reckon you can stay does thou
have different names for different personalities such as happy sleepy or
doc no I never named my personalities could no one ever talk to me anyway okay
then I'll just get back to cleaning up around here and so Snow White stayed
with the dwarf with seven personalities and lived in secrecy for some time
meanwhile the eagle Queen had come up with a plan
I have disguised myself as an old peddler
Hark! someone is at the door hello dearie I am an old peddler with a
beautiful flower crown for you. old peddler I have no money then this one
shall be a gift Snow White did not know that the crown
was an enchanted one that would harm her if she put it on. Thank You old peddler
remember keep it snug on your head what a strange old woman wait I don't feel so
good one snow-white fell to the ground the crown was knocked off and she was
saved I must have fainted and so that night the Queen asked the Mirror Mirror
Mirror in my hand who's the fairest in the land? It ain't you sister! my plan must have
failed but I have another enchanted pearls that will cut through her not so
the eagle Queen set off to Snow White's but when she opened the door to the
cottage she was met with a surprise hey how yinz doing strange little man I'm
looking for Snow White she went out as shopping or something
Ooh can I see those but these are first Snow White
oh I'll make sure she gets them okay well then she better the one of the
dwarfs personalities was a hoarder these will go nicely in my hoard and so that
night the eagle Queen asked a mirror Mirror Mirror in my hand who's the
fairest in the land yeah it's still Snow White you didn't
get her dang it but then perhaps some poison fruit shall
do the trick so the eagle Queen set off to the carnage
again this time Snow White answered the door Oh peddler woman thou has returned
yes dearie how did the flower crown suit you? actually it made me faint so I'm
not trying that one on again guess you get what you paid for well to make it up
to you I have brought you some enchanted I mean perfectly ordinary fruit uh yeah
fruit eat the fruit you did while I'm right here so I can be sure at work I
mean tastes good good idea mmm that does taste good and so at last the eagle Queen
had succeeded and so Snow White fell into a deep deep sleep that appeared to
be deaf soon the dwarf came home quirky Snow White will happen and the door
found the enchanted fruit methinks this has been enchanted
Oh Snow White but try as he might the dwarf could not revive Snow White that
moment a nearby prince heard the dwarfs cries no what is that sounds like a
dwarf in distress when the Prince arrived he found his Snow White had been
moved to her room oh no what snow white what has happened to you
Oh Snow White the dwarf did not notice that the prince had arrived hmm maybe I
can help out here but Snow White lay there perfectly still
and so this prince placed a single kiss upon her fingertips hmm hope she doesn't mind
and the kiss of the Royal Prince brought Snow White back to the land of the
living hmm Snow White thou hast awakened! the princess kiss has awoken you
yeah I have that effect on people well I'm just gonna leave you two little
lovebirds alone Oh Prince thou has saved me yeah it's kind of what I do around
here you know save princesses but I am NOT a princess I am just Snow White
not a princess hmm I think we're gonna have to change that and so after many
well chaperoned and supervised dates the prince and Snow White began to fall in
love and got married the eagle Queen who had no idea that Snow White was still
alive was even invited to the wedding hmm I wonder who the prince is marrying
probably not someone as fair as me Snow White recognized the eagle Queen right
away hello eagle Queen or should I say peddler that tried to get me three
times four times counting the dog how is thou still alive never mind that stay
and ye shall receive your punishment yeah put on yonder enchanted shoes so
the eagle Queen did as she was told and put on the enchanted shoes please show
mercy Snow White what are these enchanted shoes do we thought since this
is a wedding a little dancing wouldn't hurt and so the Queen's shoes began
dancing with her in them they danced and danced
make it stop Snow White I am NOT Snow White I am your queen and you are being
punished for trying to get me and so the eagle Queen dance and danced
long past the point of exhaustion she did so much a hole open up beneath
her and well I guess that's the end of the eagle queen
yeah it's a pity she was dancing so well hmm so Snow White and the prince lived
happily ever after
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