in this video you will learn the four things a man needs to fall deeply in
love with you these tips are based on solid psychological science and they are
the things that you can start using immediately to encourage the guy you're
dating to fall in love with you don't go anywhere because we're starting right
now
hi everyone I'm Dr. Antonio Borrello and I'm a psychologist in a relationship
coach this channel is all about helping you build great relationships so you can
grow happy with the people you love so if you're interested in making your love
life the best part of your life start now by clicking the subscribe button and
hit the bell notification so you aren't missing anything okay
the four tips that you can use to make a man fall deeply in love with you
first I have to say this there's no such thing as a magic potion there are no
tricks or tactics that will absolutely make another person fall in love with
you if anyone tells you there are you should hold onto your wallet and run
away from them but having said that there are many things that can increase
the chances that the person you want falls in love with you
these tips are focused on nurturing nine of the twelve precursors to falling in
love that have been delineated by researchers in a variety of disciplines
over the past 30 years in other words as much as I wish I could take credit for
them these aren't Antonio's ideas of how to
fall in love this is science by the way I'm going to list those 12 precursors in
the description below and I'll tell you which of the 12 precursors are being
triggered in each of the five tips that I share and for obvious reasons these
tips do not include the three precursors that have to do with him including his
readiness for a loving relationship or specific physical cues that are relevant
in producing his attraction like the shape of your eyes or your eye color and
3 his attraction to your appearance instead these are tips that are
concerned with things that are in your control now these are things that you
should be doing in the beginning when you first meet or start dating a person
but they are also things that can help you to get the spark back in your
existing relationship oh and I'm saving the best one for last because it's the
most important one and it makes all the others work so much better so without
further ado here's number one number one don't be afraid to disagree with him and
that triggers the precursors arousal and personality and mysteriousness conflict
is a natural part of any relationship but how you handle those disagreements
can either make him more attracted to you or it can make you lose
you in his eyes and become less attractive how both of you behave now
when you have a disagreement also says a lot about how you will or won't resolve
problems in the future and I'm not saying that fighting or arguing a lot is
a good thing but disagreeing and arguing is a sign that you both have your own
opinions and are strong enough to stick to them learning to disagree and even
make a real compromises is a win-win situation for both of you and as a
result increases feelings of closeness and emotional intimacy which leads to
deeper feelings of love and that's a good thing
now let me give you an example of what happens when you're always agreeable I
often talk to people who are in new relationships maybe three to four months
along and they tell me how wonderful everything is and they tell me that they
spend so much time together or that they're together every day okay so far
so good but when they also add that they've never had a disagreement or an
argument that's when I become concerned why do you think that is well let me
explain people begin their relationships with the best of intentions they want to
be the best girlfriend or boyfriend possible because they really want the
other person and they really want to be wanted so they make themselves into the
woman or man that they think will be most impressive to their new partner and
when they're hard so essentially they are acting they're acting on their best
behavior because they really want the relationship to work they want the other
person to want them and they justify their behavior by insisting that they're
being unselfish and honorable but in reality they are rationalizing their
behavior because they're not secure enough to really be themselves and
people overestimate their ability to maintain their facade and within six or
nine or maybe 12 months they begin to tire of being perfect or enjoying what
their partner had come to expect because engaging in this kind of behavior is
incredibly stressful so yeah if you've been dating a person for three or six
months and you've never disagreed or argued ask yourself why is one of you
not really being honest with yourself are you going along with everything your
partner wants like watching hockey every night or going fishing and hunting ever
weekend despite the fact that you truly have no interest if there are no
arguments at all it could be a sign that somebody is hiding something hiding
their feelings are just not being honest about what they really think being
agreeable may feel like you are keeping the peace but this will not work in the
long run it eventually causes feelings of resentment and depression or anger
towards the partner and towards yourself and more importantly it's not attractive
a man wants a partner not a person that doesn't have an opinion or a backbone
number to be a person he can trust and that triggers reciprocal liking
familiarity similarity social influence filling needs and isolation if you want
a man to fall deeply in love with you you have to be a person that he can
trust and when I say trust I'm talking about the three types of trust necessary
for deep love and a healthy relationship the first and most obvious type of trust
has to do with fidelity or loyalty meaning you both have agreed that your
partner has your love affection and commitment over other potential partners
it's trusting that your partner is sexually and romantically exclusive with
you so what does that look like well if you trust each other you respect the
fact that each of you have a life outside of the relationship and you
don't try to interfere or replace that life trust means that you are not
fearful of the other person cheating on you regardless of circumstances the
second type of trust is believing that your partner has good intentions in
other words you believe what they say and believe that they have your best
intentions in mind even when you disagree or you're disappointed you
truly feel like your partner is on your team and you never have the feeling that
their actions were done to betray you the third type of trust you trust one
another with your feelings and with your heart Trust is built through a series of
actions that show another person that one can be trusted for example you call
when you say you're going to you listen and you empathize with your partner you
support and encourage your partner through a difficult time and through
this mutual trust in one another you feel safe in the relationship physically
and emotionally trusting someone with your heart
and your feelings means that you can be vulnerable without fear of any negative
consequences and this is huge because when you are not afraid of being
vulnerable in conversation there is a willingness to really open up your
hearts and share what you're really thinking even if it puts you at risk for
ridicule and being criticized that's trust
that's emotional intimacy and that's the foundation of deep love number three
exude confidence by overcoming your fear of rejection and that triggers
mysteriousness reciprocal liking personality and social influence as
we've talked about in other videos confidence in both men and women is very
sexy and it draws people to you confidence creates an aura that draws
people in it shows people that you're comfortable with yourself
which grants you a certain poise and charm or assertiveness and confident
people have a certain air about them that makes you want to get to know them
you want to know what makes them so self-assured confident people seem to
know what they want in they're not afraid to ask for it or to go after it
nor are they afraid to express themselves and while confidence is an
almost universally attractive trait it's opposite insecurity is almost
universally unattractive and unfortunately insecurity or rejection
sensitivity is often most noticeable when you're dating a person and you fear
that they may leave you this rejection sensitivity can manifest itself in so
many ways and really hurt your relationship for example people who have
a fear of rejection or rejection sensitivity are quick to assume that
when their partner engages in mildly inconsiderate behavior they assume that
reflects something deeper and more personal like a lack of love or
commitment and this leads to conflict that is likely to escalate and the
couple having more negative experiences if you fear that your relationship is
going to end you are not likely to behave in ways that exude confidence you
act in ways that appear insecure and sabotage your relationship so the most
important thing is to overcome your fear of being rejected overcome your fear of
the relationship ending and how do do that overcoming your fear of
rejection is a gradual process that begins with rejecting the
self-fulfilling prophecy you need to reject the belief that others will
always reject you because when you hold on to it you create situations for it to
occur unconsciously you'll do things that will
push people away and then you'll use that rejection as more evidence instead
you need to end the self-fulfilling prophecy by deliberately looking for
signs of acceptance maybe even writing them down if you need to no particular
rejection is the end of the world for you you can survive the end of a
relationship or a job that doesn't work out or a friendship that no longer fits
it might be painful but you will survive and you can become stronger as a result
number 4 keep your standards high and that triggers arousal and personality
and social influence and filling needs and mysteriousness remember it's your
values and expectations that sets the bar for your relationship it sets your
standards of what you expect and sets the bar for love the way we love and
value ourselves sets up the way in which we let other people love and value us or
not the problem that so many people have when they meet someone they really like
they're often willing to compromise their standards in the early stages of
dating and when you do that you're setting low parameters for him look I
know it can be difficult to keep your standards high when you really like a
person it's like everything goes right out the window
but when you compromise your standards you're always going to get less than you
need and less than you deserve you're setting the bar low and you're
setting the parameters low and you're letting him know it's okay to treat you
poorly and you'll still be right there and when he knows that then you lose
value in his eyes and he begins to believe that you aren't going anywhere
when he knows you're sticking around despite his bad behavior then he has no
fear of losing you then he knows that you're head over heels and obsessed with
him he knows that you are absolutely need him and you're terrified of losing
him and he knows that you would never leave and when you reach that point then
half of his motivation and half of his Drive and
half of his attraction is gone and he no longer has to try so hard he no longer
has to work on securing your love and attention and he doesn't have to worry
that you leave so he stops trying and the love he felt for you diminishes and
as a result he takes you for granted he under appreciates you and he no longer
works hard I'm making the relationship great and that's when you need to gently
remind him of your value in his life and that your love for him is not
unconditional he needs to know that your relationship and your loyalty also
depends on how he treats you just as it did in the beginning he needs to be a
little bit worried about losing you but he will only experience this if he knows
that you are willing and able to walk away from something that isn't right for
you so how do you make the man worry about losing you well click here to
watch a video that will tell you exactly what to do or click here to watch the
video that YouTube thinks that you like and please please leave a comment and
let me know the topics that you'd like to see me address in future videos
thanks for watching I'll see in the next video