Hello Internet - and welcome back to the most inquisitive channel on YouTube - Life’s
Biggest Questions - the only place on the internet where you can find a factual fictitious
mashup of mythological entities, buzzed up in a metaphorical blender of 21st century
implications.
What’s going on guys - as always, I’ll be your disembodied floating voice Jack Finch
- as we once again step into the realm where mythology meets reality - cry out into the
sky during a thunderous downpour - and piously ask the question - What If Quetzalcoatl Was
Real?
Roll the clip.
Quetzalcoatl - he was the wind, the guide and the road sweeper of the rain gods - of
the masters of the water, of those who brought rain.
And when the wind rose, when the dust rumbled, and it cracked - and there was a great din,
it became dark and the wind blew in many directions, and it thundered - then it was said - Quetzalcoatl
is wrathful.
Well - what has the metaphysical representation of the wind and air got to do with any of
us?
I suppose we better find out really.
Before we offer ourselves up as a human sacrifice though guys - you know how the chips fall
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We try and read each and every one - so stick around until the end, because I’ll be reading
out some of your best witty remarks from the past few weeks.
Alright - let’s lay our cards down on the table.
If Quetzalcoatl was real - then Central America just got a hell of a lot more interesting.
But to tackle this question, first we’ve got to find out a bit more about the main
man himself.
Quetzalcoatl - boy, do I just love saying that name - is the Aztec deity of the wind,
air, learning, the planet Venus, of the dawn - of merchants and of arts - and knowledge
- he’s got many feathers in his Serpentine cap and he’s quite the all-rounder as far
as ancient all-powerful deities go.
To the Aztecs, Quetzalcoatl means feathered serpent in the Nahuatl language - and was
often depicted as such, or as a large flying reptile - similar to a dragon, that acted
as the boundary maker between earth and sky.
Don’t worry though, he also had a much more human side - and would often visit the physical
plane as Ehecatl - the anthropomorphic aspect of the Wind God.
I’m hoping that he’d be much more comfortable in the form during the 21st century.
Many Mesoamerican archeological digs have discovered burial sites with a cornucopia
of Quetzalcoatl symbolism - primarily in the form of a conch shell, a talisman that his
followers would wear - depicting patterns of hurricanes, dust devils, seashells and
whirlpools.
It’s safe to say - he was pretty well loved in the Aztec Pantheon - and had a swathe of
all powerful cults to enact his bidding in the physical realm.
The origin of Quetzalcoatl is murky at best though, as is usually the case - and there
are several stories surrounding the main mans birth.
In one version of the myth, Quetzalcoatl was born by a virgin named Chimalman - to whom
the god Onteol appear in a dream.
Hm - where have I heard that one before?
In another version, the same virgin conceived Quetzalcoatl by swallowing an emerald.
In a third, the story narrates that Chimalman was hit in the womb by an arrow shot by Mixcoatl
- and nine months later she gave birth to a child which was called Quetzalcoatl.
Well - funny how that works, isn’t it?
Well - either way, whichever route Quetzalcoatl took to gain access into our mortal realm,
where would he be now - right here in 2018?
Remember I said that Central America would look like a very different place?
Yeah, things would go a little bit more swimmingly if you had the backing of an all powerful
wind dragon by your side.
Let’s take the Spanish Conquest as an example.
It is argued by historians that when the Spanish conquistador Hernando Cortes landed in what
is now mainland Mexico in 1519 - the Aztec Emperor Montezuma the 2nd - believed him to
be the manifestation of Quetzalcoatl, returning to change the course of Aztec history.
Well let’s run that simulation again, and say that instead of a gang of brightly feathered
Aztec warriors meeting the Spaniards on the beach - it was Quetzalcoatl himself in all
his serpentine-wind-dragon glory.
Yeah, I think it’s safe to say they wouldn’t have gotten too far.
At the same time though - the Aztec empire were facing a threat from their own continent
- the Tlaxcala - a Mesoamerican society that opposed human sacrifice and the Aztec ways.
In our history, Hernando Cortes eventually coerced these people into a loose alliance
against the Aztecs - ultimately leading to their downfall.
Well, if Quetzalcoatl made short work of the Spanish - then the same would be said for
these guys.
With one muster of his catastrophic hurricane power, the enemies of the Aztec people would
have fallen by the wayside.
The Aztec Empire would have sprawled out from this initial flashpoint, changing the course
of Mesoamerican history as we knew it.
With Spain’s conquest a writhing failure, it could be said that European interest in
the Americas would be halted - with rumours and whispers of an all powerful serpentine
god defending the continent.
And then really - it’s anyone’s guess.
Perhaps Quetzalcoatl would have led his people to dominate the rest of South America - and
even the North, warring against the native groups of the Sioux and the Apache.
If Quetzalcoatl was real - perhaps the Americas would have become a land similar to the likes
of China - steeped in mysterious isolation and metaphysical mythology, growing into a
powerful Empire of mysticism, magic and might.
Well - that’s my spin on it - what do you guys think?
Let us know in the comment section down below.
Before we depart - here’s some of the wittiest things you guys have had to say in the past
few weeks.
Bells Bobson1 says - Hey LBQ - Can you make a video on Will The Humans Colonize The Entire
Milky Way Galaxy.
Well, Bells Bobson1, that sounds like a fantastic idea - I’ll bump it up the food chain.
Next up - I unpacked Your brain with win rar - which, may I said, is the greatest name
I’ve seen in a long time - says, Love your videos.
Well, to be honest, you only got in because your name was so good - but, we love ya too
buddy.
Unfortunately, that’s what’s up guys - make sure to let us know what you want to see in
the comment section below, or just say something hilarious - and in all likelihood I’ll read
the funniest ones out in the next video.
As always, I’ve been your host Jack Finch - you’ve been watching Life’s Biggest
Questions - and until next time, you take it easy.