Hey, I'm back! Where are the-- Whoo.
It's freezing in here.
Yep. Look at your parents' plant.
Oh, this is perfect for cold yoga.
I know.
[sighing] So... where are the girls?
T-The girls?
Yeah. You said you were gonna get six girls
to be in the video.
Jasper.
[sighing]
I tried, but everyone was busy.
And one girl poked me in my throat.
So we got nobody to be in my cold yoga video?
[doorbell ringing]
Hey.
Hi.
Them?! Weird, weirder and sister of weirder?!
I'm not his sister.
She's my cousin.
Get it right.
I'll show you what's right.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa. [chuckles]
Is it cold in your bathroom too?
I have to pee, but I'm afraid it will freeze.
Uh, I know everything about urine
and it doesn't freeze.
[sighing]
I'm Piper Hart. This is Cold Yoga.
I'm your instructor.
Let's start with a simple downward freezing dog.
[grunting]
Good.
Now we're gonna do a penguin pretzel.
[grunting]
Terrific.
This is the happy freezing baby position.
Be sure to remember to exhale.
Exhale through what?
I don't care what you exhale through!
Why didn't you use any of the good footage?
That was the good footage.
I cut out all the bad parts.
Like when Sydney started crying.
And when Oliver vomited,
This is never gonna get me
more subscribers than Jana Tetrazini!
You failed me.
Well, I don't think it's fair to say--
- Say it! - Say what?
Say I failed you, and now I'm gonna go home
and sit by myself, thinking about how
and why I failed you.
I failed you.
And I'm gonna go home, and sit by myself
thinking about how and why I failed you.
Door's that way.
Namasté.
Namago!
Hey, Piper, want some cheese milk?
Yeah, sure.
[screaming]
Ah. Why'd ya scream?
'Cause Jana Tetrazini lost
more than half of her subscribers.
Well, I don't know what that means.
And now I have to go change my pants.
Hello, Hart family.
I can't talk.
I've got cheese milk on my pants.
Been there.
Hey. Why are you here?
Here's a better question.
Why did Jana Tetrazini lose
half of her subscribers in the past two days?
How do you know that?
'Cause I caused it... with a little video I posted.
Check this out.
Cold Yoga... Cold Death.
These innocent kids tried cold yoga
and their bodies will never be the same.
Look at the pain.
Lies!
The sorrow.
[growling]
The vomit.
All because someone, someone evil told them
that cold yoga was a good idea.
That person, Jana Tetrazini.
Click here to unsubscribe from Jana Tetrazini's videos
or else this could be you.
[crying]
That's amazing.
I... I don't even know to say.
I think you should say, "Jasper's awesome!
And now I'm gonna sit here and think about how
and why Jasper's so awesome."
I don't wanna say that.
Oh, then maybe I'll just take my video down.
Wait! Jasper's awesome!
And now I'm gonna sit here and think about how
and why Jasper is so awesome.
Namasté.
Well, I'm completely out of pants!
Been there.