There are a few Hollywood couples who inspire us with their long-lasting love. Legendary actress
Bette Midler and her husband Martin von Haselberg have been married for thirty-eight years. They are
a symbol of hope and show us that true love still exists. However, it hasn't always been
smooth-sailing for the couple, and Bette admitted that they used to fight endlessly. Bette knew that
he was her one true love, and she wasn't going to let him go, no matter how hard things got.
Stay tuned, Juicers, because we're going to take a deep dive into Bette Midler's
marriage and how she and her husband worked through their tough times to stay together.
It's safe to say that Bette Midler has had it all. She's had an incredibly successful career
as a singer, actress, and comedian. However, while her career was taking off on Broadway
during the 60s and 70s, there was one thing the actress hadn't found yet … and that was love.
But that was all going to change when she met the actor, Martin von Haselberg.
The couple met in 1984 when Bette was 39-years-old and Martin was 35. They were immediately smitten
with each other and were practically inseparable after they met. Bette knew that this was it, that
Martin was the one for her, and she wasn't going to miss out on her chance at love and happiness.
So, after just six weeks of knowing each other, Bette proposed to Martin.
The couple spontaneously eloped to Las Vegas and wed at the Starlight Chapel.
"My wedding was two people — my husband and me — and, of course,
the Elvis impersonator that married us." The actress reminisced about their wedding day.
The ceremony was held at 2A.M and cost a mere $45.
"He got all dressed up in this suit that I was like, 'I'm not getting married to you in
that suit!' So he had to change his suit, and then we went to one of the little churches,
and we went to get the license," Midler shared.
She continued, "We had a tape of Nino Rota music ... and we walked down the aisle."
For years, the couple had no picture evidence of the nuptials. However, in 2017 the couple was
surprised when an employee from the chapel sent them photographs from their wedding.
The priceless images have remained the only photographic reminder of their big day.
Considering Hollywood's reputation with marriage, especially the impromptu ones, people
first thought that Bette's marriage to Martin wasn't going to be one that lasted very long.
Little did they know that just because the couple had chosen a more "low-key" celebration
didn't mean that they weren't invested in taking their commitment seriously.
Following their wedding, Bette experienced a lot more exposure in her career,
but as her fame grew, so did the pressure.
Unfortunately, it didn't take long for that pressure to spill over into her personal life.
The actress confessed that her marriage was not without its challenges. She also admitted that
she and Martin used to fight "bitterly," but they made a decision that saved their marriage.
Bette explained, "We came to the conclusion that we wanted to raise a child. We never wanted
to hurt that kid in any way, and we stayed together until it got better, and it did."
Two years into their marriage, the couple welcomed a baby girl and named her Sophie
Von Haselberg. The actress said that having a child helped them change their priorities and
put them both on the same page as parents. All the fights they used to have before now seemed silly
after their daughter was born. Not only were they determined to make their marriage work,
but now they wanted to make sure they were going to be the best parents to Sophie.
Martin quit his job as an actor so that he could be more supportive of Bette's career,
and they both put an equal amount of work into parenting their daughter.
Bette said that she and her husband taught their daughter "responsibility and to have patience."
Bette also doesn't shy away from talking about how much she appreciates her husband either.
"My husband is probably the greatest father who ever lived!"
she gushed in a 2014 interview with People. "He picked up the slack when
I was on the road. He taught her a foreign language. He taught her to cook!" she added.
So, it's no surprise that their parenting tactics eventually paid off.
Sophie grew up to become an actress - who looks just like her mother,
might we add - and is now married to the love of her life. After scaling
through their rough patch, the power couple emerged stronger.
When the couple was asked about the key to their marital success, Haselberg admitted that it was
their conscious efforts to create the life they wanted that helped their relationship.
Bette and Martin have now been together for almost forty years,
and the actress is fully aware that she has something "rare" by Hollywood standards.
She explained, "I think the secret is giving each other a lot of lead
and a lot of room and not being in each other's faces all the time."
Midler also said that she believes that it's important to give in from time to time
even though it's "very hard." She added that sometimes you have to acknowledge
when a fight is "not worth it," and you don't always have to have your own way.
"You have your way, and maybe next Thursday I'll have mine.'
Keep supporting each other. That's hard, too." She shared.
Bette gave more insight into their marriage and explained that it's not easy having a long
and satisfying marriage, and it's important to take the time to listen to each other.
"Listening is very hard. And compromise. Compromise is the hardest of all," she added.
She also said that it's important to pick your battles. "It's best to pick your
fights wisely and just meditate. Stay calm. Don't go from zero to 60 in two
seconds. Just stay calm and try to breathe," said she. "Breathing is really important."
Her marriage advice didn't stop there. Considering she's been married for almost four decades,
it's safe to say that Bette is a treasure trove of
relationship advice apart from being a great entertainer.
"Don't diminish each other. Don't make each other less.
Don't try to make each other wrong all the time. Don't blame. Stop assigning blame."
The actress explained that "the blaming" could be the worst part because it's "so easy" to
make your partner the one at fault rather than admitting you were wrong. She said that people
often want to push fault onto others because carrying the burden of the blame can be tough.
"But honestly, you have to learn not to do that," she added.
Bette also had a long list of praises for her husband,
gushing, "My husband is a genius! You know, he could have been one of the greatest actors
of all time, but he chose painting and photography … he's a wonderful man,"
And Martin doesn't shy away from sharing his appreciation for his wife either.
"Well, he doesn't think I'm boring. It's a wonderful marriage.
I think he's a genius, and he thinks I'm Auntie Mame. What can I say?"
In 2020, their daughter Sophie tied the knot in an intimate ceremony during the
international pandemic. Sophie shared the news on Instagram,
alongside a photo of herself and her groom enjoying a fun moment together.
During an interview, Midler said that she and Von Haselberg were "over the moon" when they found out
their daughter would be getting married. Both parents helped put together the small ceremony,
with Midler securing the flowers and Von Haselberg organizing the food.
"It was so sweet," Bette said of the wedding,
which only had 11 people in attendance due to the ongoing pandemic.
"They had a great time," Midler said of her daughter and son-in-law. "They stayed
up all night, and they drank. They had a ball."
"My husband did the food. I did the flowers," said Midler,
adding that her daughter and son-in-law wrote their own vows and
"asked their friends to join The Universal Life Church and become ministers."
Shortly after walking down the aisle, von Haselberg shared a happy
photo on Instagram of her new groom smearing wedding cake on her face.
Sophie captioned, "It's great to have cake smeared on your face by someone you love!
And hot DAMN, do I love this man!"
But did Midler sing at her daughter's wedding?
Midler replied, "Oh, she wouldn't have me sing! Are you mad? Oh my God,
she spent the first five years of her life saying, 'Mommy, don't sing!'"
There's no doubt that Bette and Martin are an incredible couple with mountains of marriage
advice. They've formed their own beautiful little family together and have embraced total honesty
with each other. They have always managed to end up on the same page and make their love stronger.
Many people are lucky to find their true love, but only a few are smart
enough not to let them get away. While it wasn't easy for them in the beginning,
Bette made sure she wasn't going to let Martin be 'the one that got away.' They both made an
effort to make their marriage a very long and satisfying one. We couldn't be happier for them!