[TRACK: Steve Winwood - Higher Love]
STEVE (VO): So. You're probably wondering, "What's with all the lack of uploads this week?"
I'll give you a hint: We were on our way to Sydney.
Australia.
For a nerd convention.
And you know how you have those inklings in the back of your mind when you leave your home?
You think, "Did I forget something?"
Well, I have to say I was pretty happy this trip because that inkling didn't show up at all.
CIB (BRITISH VO): I couldn't believe it.
My friends were gone.
So I did the one thing I thought was best:
Something to help the company.
Hm-hm.
To bring the views higher than ever.
It was time for a new Sugar Pine 7.
STEVE: I don't understan-. Just do it in your normal voice.
CIB: What are you talking about?
STEVE (VO): We couldn't believe the hotel Rooster Teeth put us in.
Normally, they make us stay in Jeff's basement.
And as much as I like being tied up, this was a nice change of pace.
But all good things come with a price.
And the price is us.
We got kicked out.
But that's fine.
I'm sure Jeff would have a basement for us somewhere.
Either way, we got the opportunity to explore the beautiful city of Sydney.
I was curious what Cib was up to, though.
He sent me a text saying he was "saving our company".
Whatever that meant.
CIB (OFFSCREEN): Fuckin' stop, fuckin' barking, you piece of--
*bark from somewhere offscreen*
CIB (OFFSCREEN): Shut up, bitch.
CIB: Stupid-- don't wanna work this fuckin' channel.
Hello, everybody, and welcome back to another car review!
I'm Cib Camaro, and today, we're gonna be taking a good, in-depth review.
The Corvette Sting-er!
Stingray.
CIB CAMARO: -beautiful thing about this car...
zero to sixty in just
two
to one second.
Let's jump into this thing and take a look at some of the quarks of this car.
The lightbulbs on this bad girl are red.
Believe it or not.
'Cause they're all red.
STEVE (VO): I don't know what Cib's plan was to save the channel.
STEVE: All I know was that, in Australia, I was having a frustrating time travelling the city
because James kept trying to do scenic shots.
STEVE (VO): Sydney is a peaceful place.
It's a lot cleaner than Los Angeles. It's a lot more friendly.
But one thing I noticed is that there are
the same
fucking
people
in the park every day.
Granted, I've only gone there twice. It was just on the weekday.
It's the same people playing chess. It's the same people hanging around the park in general.
Do they not have jobs?
It's a question I- I have yet to get answered.
Even residents of Sydney that I talked to don't understand
how these people are able to come out here every single day
and basically do nothing.
So, James and I decided to show everyone up a little bit.
To bring that American Work Ethic Spice™ to their location.
Oops!
Just kidding!
James and I joined in and got mimosas!
One thing I always worry about, though, is when James films because he never switches to Autofocus.
And with the Canon C200, not only does it shoot raw,
it also has some of the best Autofocus probably in the industry.
So it baffles me when he switches it to manual
and I am out of focus the entire time.
STEVE (VO): I didn't outright say "use the autofocus"
but I was hoping our conversation implied that much.
CIB CAMARO: It's got intakes here...
Air goes in.
Gasoline comes out.
The logo on the back is a- is a- is a beautiful encrested
flames.
It's flames coming off the right and black flames off the left.
With little polkadots in there.
The car's airflow
on the outside of the vehicle
is just
superb.
The air
glides
in through
what appears to be
little shush- slivits
in the side of the car.
I'm not entirely sure what they're for
but we'll find out
when we take the road test later in this review.
What else can we look at on this piece of sh
STEVE (VO): There are a few reasons I choose not to ever hang out with James.
But the biggest reason of all is that he's a major inconvienence to travel anywhere with.
There's gotta be something wrong with his bowels.
Every place we go, it doesn't matter if we're walking around for ten minutes
or even two,
he always just has to take a shit.
I asked James how much time was left.
He said it was too late.
So, embarrasingly enough, I suggested we go to the nearest apartment complex
and pray that someone lets James use their bathroom.
JAMES: Well, let's go!
CIB CORVETTE: Now, as you can see, this car has a lot of leg room for
smaller people, but,
y'know, I don't see this being an issue while driving.
Kind one of those fun quarks about the car
is
its
airgonomics.
You can sit in this car
for hours.
*door slam*
Listen to that!
Classic Corvette door sound.
The car's equipped with a beautiful monitor.
It has a stereo system.
It won't shut off.
The stereo doesn't seem to...
WELL TURN OFF, YA SLUT!
Power button doesn't work!
Oh, god!
I'm freakin' ou
*Cib's relieved gasping*
It turns off
just as easy as that.
STEVE (VO): Now, I've heard that Australians are very nice.
But the same could be said for any place.
And I think this really pushes the limits,
not just for Australians,
but even the nicest people that exist in the world.
And, yes, I was very excited to see James shit his pants.
STEVE (VO): What.
(Cry of pain from James)
[JAMES (Translated): Ow.]
[JAMES (Translated): No.]
CIB STINGRAY: Now let's give this baby a start.
Ohhh yeah.
Hear those exhaust notes?
I'm gonna press the petal now
and we'll have a listen to
how that exhaust sounds.
Can I do that in park?
STEVE (VO): Of course, I wasn't gonna go inside.
Anyone nice enough to do what they did is either actually a nice person or
a secret pervert.
I was very upset that I basically put myself in a situation where I had to create awkward small-talk.
CIB THE CAR MAN: So right now, I'm driving this car.
It is me driving this car right now.
Once again,
absolutely me driving this car.
I will write about me driving this car
on the blog
because I am one hundred percent allowed to.
Alright, we're gonna do a zero-to-sixty test
on this bad girl.
And here
we
go!
Bangarang! We hit sixty
miles per hour.
Fantastic!
Oh!
Wow
Wowee!
Well listen to that baby-feel that baby just
hug the corners.
Mmm-m-mm-mm-m.
Wowee.
*James yawns*
*Ominous Didjeridoo*
AW NAH, DUDE
SLEUTH THE RAPIST: Thanks so much for watching!
Hope you guys enjoyed this review
of the sedan
coupe
drop-top
Corvette Singsrays!
This baby
This baby runs.
Check out my blog
and if you want me to borrow any of your cars and test-drive 'em...
let me know.
Now I'm outta here!