- I never meant for it to turn out like this.
- Dabblers, you're a curse.
You should have called me in the first place.
- I wanted to try my hand at something new.
- I don't know why you wanna build a wall here anyway.
- Well, I like things to be symmetrical.
- Well, it's your money.
Look, if you wanna learn how how to build a wall,
chuck us a trowel and I'll teach you.
That's a margin trowel,
you're not gonna shift much with that, are you?
Very good, you see, you're learning something already.
Give it here.
Churchill used to build walls, you know.
- Really?
- Oh yeah, he was bloody useless at it as well,
too posh, or too pissed to do it properly.
His manservant used to come in afterwards
and build it again.
- Ah.
- You people think that money can buy you everything,
but it can't buy you knowhow.
- Apparently not.
- Go on then, you have a go.
That's very good.
We'll make a brickie out of you yet.
Oh, you plonker, look, get out of it, come on.
Fuck's sake.
- Tell me, Clive, do you know much about the grape?
- Sorry?
- Wine, Clive, wine, any favorites?
Albariño, Chardonnay, Riesling?
Or perhaps you're more a red man?
What's your poison?
- You know, me and the missus,
sometimes we like a nice bottle of that, um,
Rio-jer.
- Rio-jer?
Yes, no, I've got a bottle of that here.
Beautiful year, 1900.
It cost about that much too.
- You're not gonna open that, are you?
- As the proverb says,
'Wine and wenches empty men's purses.'
(groaning with effort)
- Here, I'll go.
(cork popping)
- Thank you.
Ah, there's a medium red with some brick tones.
A hint of cherry to it on the nose.
Try it.
If you like it, I'll give you a bottle to take home.
- Up your bum! - Up yours.
- Oh, mate, that's lovely, innit?
- Yeah. - Do you mind if I?
- No, no, no, no.
I'm having the whole place refitted,
oak display cases,
refrigeration unit,
bespoke design and installation,
a little indulgence.
- Money to burn.
- They're a German company,
they fly the fitters out from Düsseldorf.
You met him the other day, didn't you,
when you were doing up one of the bathrooms,
what was his name?
Heinz? - Hans.
- Hans! - Yeah.
- Hans, yes, you got on well?
- Yeah, he was alright, you know, for a Kraut.
- Well, I was not impressed, I have to say,
he did not act appropriately.
When you're spending a couple of hundred thou
on something like this,
you expect a certain standard of behavior.
- 200 grand on a cellar?
You city boys, unbelievable.
I told my mates you were minted.
- Hm, yes, I heard what you've been saying about me,
you and Hans.
- I don't know what you're talking about, mate.
- Well, I'd better let you finish up.
- Yeah.
Cor, dear.
(heavy breathing)
(coughing)
Oh!
Uh!
(gasping)
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Argh!
(groaning)
(gasping)
Argh!
(screaming)
- Oh, dear,
you are in a pickle.
I can see why old Winnie did this to relax,
it's very soothing.
How's my technique?
- You're not gonna do this
just 'cause of what I said to the Kraut, you can't.
- I'm afraid it is necessary,
you see, it's a question of respect.
I will not have those I employ talking behind my back.
In the 18th century,
if a tradesman disrespected a gentleman,
he would be publicly flogged.
Did you know that?
As a lesson to his peers.
- That's why they had revolutions.
- Not in this country, they didn't.
(whimpering in pain)
You know where you are with bricks, don't you?
Divided, they're kind of useless,
but united, they can make something truly splendid.
The thing about bricks though,
is that one goes on top of the other,
every brick has its place, they're all in it together.
It's no good, if the brick at the bottom
starts wanting to be the brick at the top,
that wouldn't do at all.
Walls are there for a reason,
they separate us, protect us, keep the things we value safe,
the things we fear away.
- You're a fucking lunatic.
- No, I'm a traditionalist.
You broke down the wall between us, Clive,
I'm shoring it back up.
- Come on, mate.
- Come on,
sir.
(scraping)
(muffled screaming)
(sighing with satisfaction)
1982 Rioja.
(muffled screaming)
What's that, my friend?
Yes, you're quite right, Rio-jer!
Cheers!
Prost!
You know, I think my pointing is improving.
(muffled screaming)
(door closing)