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You are unconditionally and irrevocably in love,
not with vampire,
but how do you know if you're mistaking your attention
and desire for someone as love?
Maybe without realizing it,
you're only focusing on your needs and fulfillments.
Perhaps it's not your love after all,
but a selfish relationship with so-called selfish love.
Well, whether you think your partner is the culprit
or you suspect you may possess selfish tendencies,
here are six signs of selfish love to help you out.
Number one, they talk over you.
Does your partner constantly interrupt you?
Do they and talk over you
while you're in the middle of explaining something?
A partner who is self-centered won't bother
in getting to understand your point of view.
According to psychologist and couples therapist,
Debra Campbell,
in a discussion, when you disagree,
your partner is more concerned with defending her position
than acknowledging your point of view.
Feeling heard is a vital part of feeling loved.
So the result is usually to feel emotionally sidelined
when a partner consistently doesn't listen well.
Number two, they don't ask about you or your day.
Hmm, so your partner often loves to talk about
their troubles and joys,
but when it comes time for you to vent,
they're simply uninterested or don't even bother to ask.
They don't even ask how your day was
when you arrive home from work.
It's important that both couples in a relationship
take the time and energy to listen to each other.
And that means asking how they are
so they have someone to turn to
if something is on their mind.
If instead, they dominate the conversation,
that's a red flag.
Pay attention to see if your partner asks about you
and your feelings,
and if you recognize you aren't doing that,
it's never too late to start practicing showing your empathy
and speaking kindness.
Number three, it's always their way.
When you and your partner discuss things to do
or important decisions,
it's always their way or the highway.
You may not realize this is happening too.
You could think it's a fair discussion
about where to go eat or what friends to invite over,
but at the end, nearly every decision, they conquer.
All you wanted to do is invite
some friends out for Taco Tuesday,
but instead, it's a pizza party with his friends.
Do you often have to beg them to do things you want?
Hang out with your friends, visit your family this time.
There should be equality
and a healthy balance in any relationship,
otherwise, he may resent them.
Pay attention to how often your choices
or opinions are heard.
Do you eat tacos more often or pizza?
Number four, they control you with their rules.
They are always the one making the rules,
but never following them.
It can be healthy to set boundaries in a relationship,
but if you noticed your partner
is often breaking those boundaries and giving out orders,
this is only toxic behavior.
Many individuals with narcicisstic personalities
will have high expectations for others.
If those expectations aren't met,
they can judge you harshly.
Often, when a narcissist wants their partner
to meet their expectations, they'll set rules.
They'll demand you take certain steps in the relationship,
but then they go off and ignore the rules for themselves.
Number five, they don't listen to your opinion.
Couples in a relationship need to think as a team.
They're in this together.
But if you notice your partner never takes your opinion
or point of view into account,
you could be caught in a one-sided relationship.
To them, they're always right
while you're always in the wrong
and they may even make you believe this all the time.
If they always value their opinion over yours,
it's best to reevaluate your relationship.
They may just have a selfish love for you.
And number six, they're always taking,
but never giving much back.
It's Valentine's Day,
you put the most thought into your gift for your partner.
They had briefly mentioned
that they'd take you somewhere special
and you want to make sure you show your appreciation
by giving them a present that's thoughtful
and something they'll enjoy.
They finish unwrapping their gift
and you reach out your hands, eyes closed,
for yours as the smile spreads across your face.
Oh, uh, I forgot, they say sheepishly,
but it's Valentine's Day
and you reminded them last month
and last week and yesterday
and that romantic destination they said they'd take you to,
McDonald's, Drive-through,
although their burgers and fries are delicious,
but they didn't even think of you.
If your partner is always taking
while you're the only one putting forth the effort,
you likely have a problem.
It doesn't even need to be Valentine's Day presents.
If you often give your attention and energy to them
and they don't do the same,
well, it looks like their love for you may just be selfish.
If you find yourself caught up in a one-sided relationship,
there are some steps you can take.
Selfish partners often don't like to be confronted
and can get defensive quickly,
so if discussing these issues calmly doesn't work,
here are some other tips.
Invest your energy into other areas of your life,
not just towards them.
If you find your love for them is still strong,
take time to think and recognize
whether you actually love them
or if you desire them in a different way.
Perhaps you've developed an obsession
with other ways they make you feel.
They could also be doing the same
or maybe you're only in love with the idea of them
rather than who they truly are.
If you decide to continue the relationship,
when you talk with them,
bring out their strengths and discuss their insecurities,
they may be due to insecurities they may possess,
but if you know you are truly unhappy
or if you're not in love after all,
it's best to think about what's best for you.
Perhaps you should break off the relationship,
and instead, find someone who focuses on your needs as well.
Trust me, that's not selfish.
So do you relate to any these signs?
Are you a little selfish in your relationship
or do you suspect your partner may be?
Which signs do you relate to?
Share with us in the comments.
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