- And now, Weekend Update with Chevy Chase.
- No.
Any dessert topping will do, as far as I know.
Well, a condiment-- I'll talk to you later.
Good evening.
I'm God, and here's the news.
Let's take a look at the top story, shall we?
Mao Tse-tung, chairman of the Chinese Communist Party
is dead at the age of 82, after an extended illness.
Amid speculation over who the next leader will be,
sources close to the scene say that
he will be replaced by Imitation Mao.
The statement just released by Communist China
reports, "We have to call him imitation,
but you don't."
The People's Republic says Mao's death
has caused much confusion among the populace.
Here, large numbers of mourners are shown
lining up to see the premier of the movie "Earthquake."
Generalissimo Francisco Franco
has spent a restful summer in Spain,
and plans to remain there for the fall,
and possibly the winter.
Well, tennis player ophthalmologist transsexual
Dr. Renee Richards is writing a book about her life.
It is tentatively titled, "Tennis Without Balls."
Ugandan President Idi Amin announced
he will undergo a species change operation
in an effort to become a human being.
If the operation is successful,
Amin says he will pursue a career on American television.
If it is not successful, he will eat American television.
Sammy Davis Junior took time out
from his hectic TV and night club schedule this week
to fly to Denmark.
The black entertainer is pictured here
after a discussion with Danish physicians concerning
Sammy's upcoming operation to have his jewels removed.
In New York this week,
Ramsey Clark, Paul O'Dwyer, Bella Abzug,
Daniel Patrick Moynihan, and Abe Hirschfeld.
Well, mass murderer Richard Speck,
sentenced to 1,200 years for killing eight student nurses
was up for parole this week.
According to prison authorities,
he was given 11 centuries off for good behavior.
Looks like there's more trouble at the Blaine Hotel.
For more on that story, let's go live to
correspondent Laraine Newman at the Blaine.
Come in, Laraine.
- Chevy, I'm standing here outside a room
at the Blaine Hotel, where once again,
tragedy has stricken.
This time, it's sickness.
Last week, a convention stayed here, Chevy,
and to date, 30 people have contracted
and been felled by what reporters are referring to
as the Foreign Legionnaire's Disease.
A strange affliction, Chevy,
where inexplicably, a normal, healthy person
suddenly becomes silent, and after a momentary lapse
starts speaking a foreign language before dropping dead.
With me is Mr. Paul Rutherford, the Blaine's manager.
Mr. Rutherford, is there any
explanation for this occurrence?
- Not at all.
The doctors don't know what the cause is,
and I ensure you that it's only a coincidence.
And it absolutely has no reflection upon my hotel.
Maybe it's a virus that's going around,
it could be the flu, you know,
could be a cold,
it could be...
[speaking Spanish]
- Chevy, the count is now 31 people
who have been felled by this curious disease.
Doctors are at a loss, as are the police.
Until something is determined,
this is Laraine Newman saying...
[speaking French]
[applause]
- Still to come, Rocky flips the bird
after this film message.
Back in one minute.