My grandma has got an opinion on everything. Young people's fashion?
Stinks. Internet dating. That's stupid.
She's like, "I'll say it, so what? What are you going to do?"
And you can't do anything because she'd probably just
beat the hell out of you.
Argh!
That genuinely hurt me! I don't mind.
What was dating like, back in your day?
No hanky-panky. OK, fine.
So, what do you think about guys using chat-up lines now?
Like, if you were in a bar and a guy comes over and he takes,
like, an ice cube out of your drink, smashes it, then he goes,
"Now that we've broken the ice, can we get it on?"
He picked ice out of my glass...
No, I'm just giving you an example. Don't get angry.
Well, if you don't want me to get angry, don't tell me that.
Yeah?
Wow.
We're going to meet two guys
who have got completely no game whatsoever.
This is Clinton.
He spends most of his money on the gym, haircuts, spray tans,
all the things that he thinks will get women.
And this is James.
He kind of struggles to talk to women,
so he likes to play the clown to get their attention.
Clinton's not the only one who goes to the gym, you know.
It's my turn in the gym - JIM'S chippy. Hey, hey!
Are you driving? Yeah.
SHE SHOUTS
Woo!
Nice to meet you guys, man. Yeah, you, too, yeah.
So, what's the deal with you guys? What's the issue?
I can always get a fling but I can never seem to tie one down,
really, so that's my problem. How often do you go to the gym?
I go five times a week.
What?! Yeah. He does all that for looking good for women.
Are you actively looking for a partner? Yeah, I am.
I've been on loads of dating websites and stuff like that
and just trying to... Forget about that. Rubbish.
That's what we call piggy in bag.
Somebody brings a bag with something in it and they
tell you it's a chicken, and then when you open it,
it's a spider.
Oh, you mean like when you meet them, they're not as good?
Yes, it's better that way. What you see is what you get, isn't it?
How do you talk to women, if you're in a bar or something?
One of his best chat-up lines that he said he used quite a lot
recently is, "Basically, you just want me, don't you?"
Like, "I can tell you want me,
"so you might as well just talk to me now." No. That's wrong.
I said, "I fry more birds than a chicken shop."
What did he say? Fry more birds than a chicken shop?
You come to me and say something like that,
me run you down wherever you is. Because we are going to meet
some girls now and we want to see how you and you approach them.
Make certain, when we meet these girls, be good,
because I will punch all you up, you know?
I'll take your head and I'll put his...
Do you go to the gym a lot? Yeah, I love the gym, me.
I can tell! Yeah, yeah.
Got the abs, innit? Got the abs, got the charm. Do you have the brains?
I don't know.
Did you?
They didn't ask any questions about, like, them. Yeah.
What you saying?
Man, these guys are doing awful. All right, you know what?
I think we need to go and talk to them, Gan Gan.
No, no, no, none of that! We will chat to them first, OK?
GUNFIRE
It's not working. Make sure you are yourself.
But I don't want to get friendzoned.
There is loads of people that they was friends before,
and after a while, they become husband and wife, yeah? Yeah.
So you have to become friend first before you can...
Friends with benefits, innit? No! No.
Please cut it out.
I don't want to get on the wrong side of you,
so I'm going to have to sort my game out as best I can.
Go out and have some more conversation.
And don't forget, I'll be listening.
Right. So go on.
How are you doing? You all right? Nice to meet you.
Sorry to steal you from your mates but I just had to,
you're the prettiest girl in here. Oh, thank you.
He seems more genuine, innit? Mm. Yeah.
So, have you ever travelled back to, like, Singapore...
Yeah, we go back a lot. ..since you have family and stuff there? Yeah.
Talking about family, OK. Do you know what that says?
I've got Chinese on my thing. It's supposed to say pride and honour.
Pride and honour?
I'm just hoping it don't say egg fried rice or
anything like that, you know what I mean?
So, where are you from? What are your hobbies?
What are you going to do after here? I'll give him nine out of ten.
Nine, oh! That's good.
If you don't mind, can I grab your number
so then we could meet up after this? Yeah.
CLINTON: Sweet.
Maybe you could take me somewhere nice.
Text you in a bit, yeah?
Let me give you a kiss for that. Oh, OK. All right!
Did it go that good? That goes much better.
Well done. You need to be yourself.
How am I?
You're all right, a bit too skinny for me.
I like the flesh. Come. The flesh is good!
Had a good day today. Yes. What are your final thoughts?
They should have respect for the girls
and the girls also should have respect for them.
Treat the girls them how you would like the girls them to treat you.
That's it, that's a wrap. Come on, get.
I have enough of all you inside my house.
I think she's going to kill you, so make a move. Shoo, shoo!
Get, get! Me, too? Yes, you! I'm your grandson!
It doesn't matter, get out!
All right, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out.