♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WELCOME BACK.
LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE.
HELLO, JON.
>> Jon: THUNDER, THUNDER AND LIGHTNING!
THUNDER.
>> Stephen: THE BAND SOUNDED GREAT JUST NOW ON THAT BUMPER,
BIG SOUND.
HOW DO YOU GET SUCH A BIG SOUND WITH YOU'RE ALL APART?
IT'S ALL IN THE ENGINEERING, I SUPPOSE.
>> Jon: YEAH, AND IN THE HANDS OF THE PLAYERS.
YOU HAVE TO JUST CHANNEL IT, YOU KNOW.
WE'RE TRYING OUR BEST TO MAKE IT FEEL GOOD IN THIS QUARANTINE
TIME.
>> Stephen: JON, I'M GOING TO MISS YOU THANKSGIVING.
THE PEOPLE OUT THERE MAY NOT KNOW, BUT FOR THE LAST FOUR,
FIVE YEARS WE'VE BEEN HAVING THANKSGIVING TOGETHER.
>> Jon: YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND ARE YOU GOING TO BE AT YOUR-- AT YOUR
SPECIAL-- SPECIAL QUARANTINE PLACE?
>> Jon: YEAH.
I'LL BE QUARANTINING.
I'LL MISS YOU, AND I'LL MISS HAVING MY FAMILY COME UP,
BECAUSE THEY USUALLY COME UP.
>> Stephen: YOUR MOM AND DAD USUALLY HAVE DINNER WITH US,
TOO.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M GOING TO DO FOR YOU-- WOULD YOU LIKE SOME
OF THE CHARLESTON BISCUITS.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME OF THE CHEESE BISCUITS?
>> Jon: OH, YES!
PLEASE.
THESE BISCUITS, COLD-BLOODED!
>> Stephen: THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD.
THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD BISCUITS.
I WILL HAVE MY MOTHER-IN-LAW SHIP YOU THE BISCUITS.
SHE WILL BE SO HAPPY TO DO SO.
DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC TO GET PEOPLE READY FOR SOME HAPPINESS
FOR THE HOLIDAYS?
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ I WANT A BISCUIT
I NEED IT RIGHT NOW ♪ I WANT A BISCUIT
OH, LET ME TELL YOU HOW ♪ >> Stephen: I SMELL A HIT.
I SMELL A HIT.
JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
IT MIGHT BE THE BISCUITS, BUT I THINK I'M SMELLING A HIT.
>> Jon: YES, INDEED HAVE A GOOD ONE.
>> Stephen: FOLKS, BEFORE WE GET TO IT, I JUST NEED TO LET YOU
KNOW THAT THE SECOND SEASON OF "OF OUR CARTOON PRESIDENT" RIGHT
THERE, OF WHICH I AM THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER, IS AVAILABLE
NOW ON D.V.D.
SO GO OUT, GET THIS DVD, AND THEN FIND A DVD PLAYER.
MAYBE TRY SIFTING THROUGH THE RUBBLE OF AN ABANDONED
BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO.
I DON'T KNOW.
AND IF YOU STILL CAN'T FIND A DVD PLAYER, I THINK IT'S GOING
TO BE AVAILABLE ON LASER DISC, AT SOME POINT, OR MARIONETTE
SHOW AT SOME POINT.
OR EDISON WAX CYLINDER VERY SOON.
THEY'RE DOING TALKIES THIS YEAR.
EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE A DVD PLAYER, IT'S JUST REALLY NICE
AND SHINY.
I BET YOUR KIDS COULD WHIP IT AT EACH OTHER ON CHRISTMAS MORNING.
GO GET IT.
DO I GET A PIECE OF THIS?
DO I GET A LITTLE TASTE?
DOES DADDY GET A LITTLE TASTE OF THIS?
I GOT BISCUITS TO BUY.
OKAY, HERE WE GO.
SPEAKING OF SHINY NEW THINGS THAT WE'RE ALL HAPPY ABOUT,
YESTERDAY, KAMALA HARRIS WAS BACK IN THE SENATE FOR A ROUTINE
VOTE, AND IT WAS A BIG DEAL, BECAUSE IT MARKED THE FIRST TIME
SHE WAS ON CAPITOL HILL SINCE BECOMING VICE PRESIDENT-ELECT.
IT'S LIKE COMING HOME FROM YOUR FIRST YEAR AT COLLEGE AND
MEETING UP WITH YOUR OLD FRIENDS.
"OH, WHAT DID YOU DO LAST SEMESTER?
OH, YOU GOT BANGS?
THAT'S COOL.
I DEFEATED THE MOST DANGEROUS PRESIDENT IN AMERICAN HISTORY,
NO BIGS.
YOU GUYS WANT TO DO BRUNCH?" SHE WAS THERE TO VOTE AGAINST
ONE OF THE PRESIDENT'S FEDERAL RESERVE BOARD NOMINEES, AND IT
WAS A GOOD THING SHE WAS THERE.
BECAUSE HAD HARRIS MISSED THE VOTE, VICE PRESIDENT PENCE WOULD
HAVE BEEN CALLED TO BREAK THE 48-48 TIE.
SHE BLOCKED HIM!
THERE HASN'T BEEN A VICE PRESIDENTIAL SMACKDOWN THIS
INTENSE SINCE SPIRO AGNEW PILE-DRIVED HUBERT HUMPHREY AT
THE RUMBLE IN THE ROTUNDA!
IT REALLY SHOULD BE THE THUNDER IN THE ROTUNDA, DON'T YOU THINK?
THERE IT IS.
NOW, YOU'D THINK HARRIS'S APPEARANCE WOULD BE AWKWARD,
BECAUSE NEARLY ALL OF HER REPUBLICAN COLLEAGUES HAVE
JOINED THE PRESIDENT'S FANTASY ISLAND IN DENYING HER VICTORY.
BUT SHE DID GET CONGRATULATIONS FROM SEVERAL FOLKS ACROSS THE
AISLE, INCLUDING THIS FIST BUMP FROM LINDSEY GRAHAM.
THAT COULD HAVE BEEN A CORDIAL EXCHANGE, OR SHE COULD HAVE JUST
BEEN BLOCKING HIS PUNCH.
BECAUSE HE'S GOT THE FOREARMS OF A PREMIE KITTEN.
HERE'S THE THING: SENATOR GRAHAM HAS BEEN ACTIVELY TRYING TO GET
BIDEN-HARRIS VOTES THROWN AWAY, LEGITIMATE VOTES, THROW THEM
OUT.
BUT HE EXPLAINED THAT IT'S ALL IN GOOD FUN, AND THAT HE WAS
"JUST SAYING HELLO.
I HAVEN'T A SEEN HER IN A WHILE.
IF IT WORKS OUT AND THEY MAKE IT, I TOLD HER I WISH HER WELL
AND TRY TO WORK WHERE WE CAN.
WE WILL KNOW HERE IN A MONTH OR SO, OR LESS."
MUCH LESS.
LIKE, NEGATIVE TWO WEEKS.
BECAUSE IT'S OVER, LINDSEY.
SHE WON.
YOU SOUND LIKE THE BEST MAN AT A WEDDING SAYING:
"CONGRATULATIONS TO THE COUPLE!
I REALLY THINK THESE TWO COULD ONE DAY FALL IN LOVE AND GET
MARRIED.
TILL THEN, ME AND RUDY GIULIANI ARE GOING TO BE SHAMELESSLY
HITTIN' ON THE CHICK IN THE WHITE DRESS."
REPUBLICAN SENATORS SWORE THAT CONGRATULATING THE VICE
PRESIDENT-ELECT DOES NOT MEAN THEY'RE HYPOCRITES.
SENATOR JAMES LANKFORD TOLD REPORTERS, "THE ELECTION IS NOT
SETTLED.
IF SOMEONE WALKS RIGHT UP TO YOU, YOU SAY, 'HELLO,
CONGRATULATIONS.'" COOL, MAN.
NICE SAVE.
"WOAH, WOAH!
DON'T GET IT TWISTED.
I DO NOT RESPECT THE WILL OF THE VOTERS.
I JUST HAVE MANNERS.
TO EVERYONE I MEET, I SAY, 'HELLO, CONGRATULATIONS."
ON HAVING BEEN SAID HELLO TO BY ME.'"
WHEN WE'RE BACK, I'LL BE JOINED BY THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE,
EMERITUS, MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY.
THE THUNDER IN THE ROTUNDA!
♪ ♪ ♪