(upbeat music)
- Did you see those?
- Nice. - [Taryn] You see those?
(Ezra coughs)
- [Taryn] Fucked my shit up, though.
- [Ezra] Yeah.
(Taryn coughs and laughs)
- Hi everyone.
- Bring it on in.
- How's it going?
- Good, I like your outfit.
- Thanks.
- Yeah. Well, I'm Taryn.
I work with kids that have autism
and I provide behavioral therapy.
- My name is Ezra.
I'm a professional artist.
- Hello, I'm Avery,
and I currently work with the homeless.
- Cool. - Rad.
- [Woman] What do you think we're doing here today?
- We're gonna smoke weed
and we're gonna talk about adoption.
- I'm excited to see our similarities and differences
between it all.
And I'm excited to like, talk about like adoption
and being like brown.
- Transracial adoptions. Oh yeah.
- Yes, I'm really excited about that,
even though I don't know what your situation is,
but I'm excited.
- Oh, you'll find out. - I can't wait.
- We shall see.
- Throw it at me.
(funky music)
(bong bubbles)
- Oh, that's nice.
This is so interesting.
(bowl clacks)
(Taryn laughs)
- When were you adopted?
- I was adopted two days after I was born.
- How was your experience with your biological parents?
- For basically my whole life,
I didn't care about them.
I didn't wanna know their names.
I didn't wanna know where they lived.
I, like, in my head, I planted that they were just
like these shells of people that then produced me,
and now I'm here.
Fast forward in time.
My mom and I are looking
through like childhood pictures
and then all of a sudden there's a picture
of this little boy.
And I was like, "Who's this?"
And my mom's like, "Oh, that's your brother."
You know, she kept him
and then she had you and then didn't keep you,
and that was like really fucking heartbreaking.
(bong bubbles)
How old were you guys? Do you know?
- I was adopted last year.
- Oh my God. Love.
- Yeah.
- Wait, you can do that.
What? How does it work?
- I was adopted by my best friend's native family.
My mom was becoming imbalanced in her mind
and navigating her growing schizophrenia opens this doorway
for other families or communities around you to feel
that they need to establish
that kind of sense of family for you.
My family organized this without my knowledge.
- Wow.
- Yeah. I didn't see it coming at all.
It was very like, "What?" (laughs)
- That's so interesting.
- It is. Yeah.
- What about you?
- What was the question?
(Ezra and Taryn laugh)
- I don't know about you guys,
I'm so high. Like.
- It's all good.
- You don't understand.
So like, ask me, like...
- Do the origin story.
- Oh, okay. - Yeah.
My mom was like always there,
but it was like at first, like supervised visits at CPS.
I really didn't get like anything out of the interaction.
And I just like deep down
always had this resentment
and hate, I guess, for her,
because she had my two older sisters and I,
did not have her life together, was in a really bad place,
and then had two additional kids
like years later that are white.
She like got her life together
and like raised them and was like a mom to them.
And it was just like not that for me.
- Are both your parents white?
- Yeah. - How's that?
- We have very, very different political views.
Something we cannot speak about is blue lives.
They do not understand that it is a choice
and a profession and not a like what?
You are choosing.
You are not born,
like they do not.
And again, like coming from privilege, but like.
- This is a hot topic in my heart. (laughs)
This, called white savior complex,
where two white people go out
and seek out specifically a brown kid.
And it's a token item.
And usually a really great Christian family.
And we are just, you know,
God sent us to this earth to do this.
And whatever you believe in religion is fine.
But if that is the reason
for adopting is to token this child,
then you're fucking them up.
Cuz you're not gonna teach them
about the hard things that come with being black.
And you're not gonna address, you know,
those kind of situations.
But my adoption story, like my bio mom, Melissa,
she only chose my parents because my dad is black.
And she was like,
"Because you have someone black in your family system,
like, this was way more ethical," and things like that.
But that's like a hot take I have on this.
(clock ticking)
- [Woman] Adoption. Good or bad?
- Good.
- I like it. Good.
- I guess I'm for adoption, but there's,
I see so much, like, you're saying,
manipulation inside of it,
of people being like, I'm gonna go adopt someone
that is different from me
and you know, like what that might mean to them,
and what they might think they're giving to that person.
It's such a strange thing.
And then, in your case of, you know,
them being these kind of like quiet racists towards you.
There's like these layers of things
that have to be pulled back from what's around us
to be able to get to a place where
we're actually caring for each other.
It's so daunting and it seems so fucked up.
- Oh yeah. I was quick to say that adoption is good
and I do think so, but...
- It can be.
- It can be, yes,
but the times it's not, is like horrendous.
- I blame social workers.
I mean social workers,
I know they start out with a good heart,
but they're overworked.
Their caseloads are too high, and they get burnt out,
and they stop caring about their jobs,
and they stop caring about their cases,
which are literal, actual people.
And I just think they forget that
and it just gets caught up in the system.
And I had so many,
I just like couldn't even tell you any of their names.
Like they were all just like a white cis woman
with like dark hair.
- It's just these, the systems that we set up
around us are just lifeless.
And I mean, there's good inside of it.
I don't wanna make sweeping generalizations
of that whole thing,
but we just don't know how to actually care for each other.
(Ezra and Taryn laugh)
Sorry, I'm getting stoned again.
- [Woman] Who's hungry?
- Trailing off
- Food?
- I'll have a snack.
(clock ticking)
My experience with like family systems,
was much different than your guys'.
Like, I don't understand what you guys went through,
to like watch something break,
and then have it to be rebuilt like that.
Like I was just in it.
Does that make sense?
Like I got it good, I think.
Oh my God, I can cry.
Sorry.
I'm feeling appreciative.
- I had a much better life than I would've had
if I wasn't adopted, so.
- Oh, thanks for sharing that.
That was really vulnerable.
- Can we get one more joint?
- Yeah, I think I lost it.
- [Woman] It's just right behind the Lay's bag.
- Oh, thanks.
(clock ticking)
- I want to adopt
and I feel like that might be fucked up.
Is that fucked up?
- I don't know.
I say I don't want kids,
but I don't wanna have kids out of my body.
- That's what I'm saying.
- [Taryn] Yeah. I don't wanna do that.
- I wanna have control over my bladder.
- And like, I don't, I just, I'm not into that.
- [Woman] Kids don't live in your bladder. Just FYI.
(Taryn and Ezra laugh)
- No, but like, after you,
like, some people pee themselves,
and they can't control it anymore.
- Yeah, and I think it's fine.
- I don't want that.
- These things might happen to us when we get old, anyways.
- I, no. Nope.
- [Woman] What do you think of Ezra's adoption story?
- I'm sure it means so many different things
on so many different levels that I will never understand,
and that's why it's so beautiful,
and I'm so happy for you,
but like, my mind is just like...
- I also can't wrap my head around the,
for like, no documents? I dunno.
Adoption always seems like such a legal thing.
- But isn't that crazy though?
Like, it can just like, we are so ingrained
that it's like a physical piece of paper, and like...
- Those are all the subtle.
- Everything else comes first,
but like it's literally coming from like the heart
and feeling, and like trust, and like a sense of community.
And that's not where adoption
in America, or probably anywhere,
I mean, not true, happens.
- It's profound to me. It totally is.
There's so much inside of this
that I haven't considered before,
because I haven't lived through that.
I'm both high and completely in awe
of just the lived experience.
- Yeah. I think high and in awe can summarize all of this.
- Like, oh yeah.
- Do you like to play Lineup at home?
Well, good news. Lineup is now a game.
Check out the link in our description for more.