the other day I was talking to a friend
about a new girl she's dating when she
said her does so many red flags damn do
I love red and it made me realize you
know we're always looking for these
deal-breakers and problematic behaviors
and other people but when do we ever
look at our own red flags and when we
consider our side of the street when
dating what would be a flag for us well
red flag number one what are you
actually looking for you'd be surprised
how many people I go on dates with who
have no idea what they want so are you
looking for something serious I don't
know oh so you're just looking for
something casual oh okay
well you know eventually I want to
settle down with someone is that
something that you're hoping to know
what are you actually hoping to get out
of this
[Music]
whatever we're looking for it's our job
to know and communicate that in front
when we're actively dating honesty and
straightforwardness are essential and
can help us navigate another person's
feelings in a respectful way even when
I've met people whose goals don't line
up with mine I appreciated them being
upfront about it red flag number two
motivation do you actually like this
person go do you just like the attention
are you only dating because you're
terrified of being alone are you
completely over your exes no really are
you completely over your exes I have
been guilty of not having the best
motivations when dating some times and
it has always led to me hurting
someone's feelings so a quick check of
what your motivations are will help
spare others and red flag number three
your ideas of relationships how much
does your personality change when you're
with someone look babe you got to stop
dressing up like me it's creepy are you
the type to be extremely codependent
babe I love you so much it's like like
you're a host and I'm your parasite are
you looking for someone to complement
your life or complete it once we get
married all of our problems will go away
that's how it works
what's your freakin movie often our
ideas of relationships will affect how
we operate in them and when you're
operating from a place of desperate need
or thinking that this one person who's
your romantic partner will fulfill your
whole life it's probably gonna be a
disaster I mean not always but usually
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