- It's time for some Smash or Pass Spooky Edition.
I've had this idea in my brain since Markiplier
did it with Pokemon.
- [Machine] Smash.
- I mean, I could have done Pokemon,
but I've already admitted
that I would let Marchoke choke me.
So I've selected some classic Halloween monsters
and some more obscure demons
and I'm gonna tell you if I would smash or pass.
So I know I'm not a fan of the word smash.
It reminds me of straight boys at school.
I'm gonna smash that.
But we're gonna assume these monsters have agreed
to gimme a bit of their monster.
Let's go.
Frankenstein.
He's got a nice body.
Those bolts might give you something to hold onto.
No, Phil, remember what channel you're on.
But I feel like he would stink
as he is technically a dead body.
And there's only so much stench Nivea body spray
for men is gonna cover up.
So I'm gonna go pass.
Okay, I just made up a new rule.
If I pass, I'm gonna Google sexy version of the monster
and then see if I would smash sexy Frankenstein.
Oh, hello.
Okay.
Now, that's changed everything.
I don't know if it's the tattoos or the glowing green eye
but I'm gonna put a peg on my nose and smash.
Dracula.
Hi.
Yes.
Suck my blood.
I mean, Dracula, vampires, they're always sexy.
That's the point.
They wanna suck your blood.
I think I'd let him have a little nibble.
Just outta curiosity,
what is sexy Dracula?
Oh, God.
Put some pants on, dude,
I think I'm gonna stick with the traditional.
I mean, he'd take me back to his castle.
He'd take me back to a smelly bedroom.
So, smash.
Pass.
A mummy, pass.
They're rotten inside.
You don't wanna be kissing them
and then the lips come off in your mouth.
I'd also get tangled by the bandages.
Probably choke myself unless we're talking
about the mummy from the movie
cause he was a gay awakening for me seriously.
Oh my God, there's an actual fan edit of Imhotep.
Smash.
What is a sexy male mummy?
Whoa.
Let's just say there's not many bandages on that,
on that one.
Wow.
Smash.
A ghost.
No, I mean, no.
Sometimes if I walk over someone's grave,
I will get a tingle in my nips.
You get a bit of a ooh, that's quite nice,
but you don't know who the ghost is.
Who, what, that?
I mean a good and sexy Blake from work that got crushed
by a steamroller, if so, steamroll me up.
But also, maybe it's sticky Tom from apartment seven.
You don't know.
You don't know who the ghost is.
Pass.
But what is a sexy ghost?
(Phil laughs)
Why is that the first result for sexy ghost?
What died and made that?
I don't know, but it's a pass.
Zombie.
Again, they're rotting.
I don't want your ear coming off
in my mouth while I give it a sensual nibble.
So pass, pass, pass.
What about sexy zombie?
Ooh, the zombussy is out.
I mean, this is a costume.
Let's imagine it's real.
He's actively bleeding.
He would be rancid.
We would be making out, he'd be trying to eat my brain.
I'd no, pass.
Even though he got an ass.
A werewolf.
I mean, it's literally a dog.
I'm not going there.
But on the other 28 days of the year, yeah.
It depends if you're a hot guy.
If I search sexy werewolf, are we gonna get Jacob?
Oh, it's Team Wolf Man.
We can smash.
Is he gay? Didn't they do a bit of gay team wolf in the end?
I mean, this TV show knew what they were doing
when they chained him to a post.
This is Halloween and everyone's had a weird crush
on Grax skeleton, what?
I'm just thinking about the logistic.
He's literally a skeleton.
So I think we'd figure it out.
I feel like you'd have some cold bony bones
if you know what I'm saying.
Satan.
No one really knows what he looks like.
So let's have a look at a few.
Pass. I feel like this one would snap me in half.
Again, I'm gonna pass.
This one will appeal to furries.
He's literally covered in fur.
I like the wings. He could take me on a date
and fly me around the underworld.
Too fluffy and he's got hooves.
He's giving me horse prince vibes.
My God.
The Satan behind door number three is a censored smash.
Oh, oh, no.
Stop it.
Stop, no.
A witch.
This one was pretty mean.
I don't think she'd even want to go near me.
Also, I'd be nervous of dropping a drink
on her and then she'd melt.
What about a sexy man witch?
Man witch.
A man witch.
It's the Babadook.
Joe.
I did not picture that in my head
when I was searching man witch, but I'll take it.
Smash.
Slenderman.
No, not under any circumstances.
I don't care what you wanna do with those tentacles.
You are too creepy.
You have no face.
Still curious what's beneath the suit, but it's a pass.
What is sexy Slenderman?
(Phil laughs)
It's just Slenderman with boobs.
She's like, I'm still scary but with boobs.
Smash.
Now I could stop this here
but my favorite TV show, Buffy is full of demons.
You don't have to have seen it.
I'm just gonna do a speed round.
Smash.
Pass.
Actually he was like, hmm.
Pass.
Oh, is it weird that I'd rather smash that than this?
Yeah.
Uh pass.
Angel, it's a smash.
When an angel smashes
and has that one moment of true happiness, he loses his soul
and then would probably rip my neck out.
I think it would be worth it.
Oh no.
Absolutely not.
He paralyzes you and likes to eat skin.
I almost said smash.
Oh my God.
Freudian slip.
That is a pass.
Spike.
Another gay awakening.
Fellow British person.
He's an instasmash.
I mean, people think Buffy's a kid show.
It did get pretty sexy in the later seasons.
The master.
Kind of a gay icon.
Dresses a little bit like Dan
but his mouth looks really sore and diseased.
So, it's a pass.
Moloch the corrupter.
He's a robot demon.
I feel like inevitably in the next 50 years a lot
of people are gonna be having some robot loving.
So why not test it out?
I think it's smash.
Also, I could go on the internet on his belly afterwards.
Oh no.
Pass.
Ooh.
Yes.
Ben, smash.
He shares his body with an ultra powerful woman, God
and they switch at random.
Might create a bit of a sexually confusing situation
if they switch while we're at it.
But I'm gonna go smash.
Balthazar.
I mean, I'd happily take a bath with him.
He looks very comfy
but he does turn people to dust when he touches them.
So that's pass.
Smash.
We'll smash.
Oo, it's the sexy science teacher.
I'm gonna pass.
She goes after virgin males, turns into a praying mantis
and chops off their heads.
So, mm, we're gonna pass.
I feel like Buffy ran out of budget
on this episode cause this one's just called Fire Demon.
Obviously smash, he'd have to keep his hands
behind his back though.
He's quite muscular.
I'm gonna smash.
That is literally a snake.
Oh, Dad, yes.
This is Dracula in Buffy, probably the hottest depiction
of Dracula I've seen on screen.
Smash.
Okay, that is a Buffy werewolf
but this is what he looks like when he is not a werewolf.
I did have a big crush on Oz in his college years.
So, smash.
That's enough.
That's absolutely enough.
Smash.
Oh, I don't think it's clothed.
Go away.
No.
Look at him again.
There we go. I feel like I just learned some things
about myself that I shouldn't have revealed to the internet
but thank you for joining me on this adventure.
Turns out getting your wisdom teeth removed is the true
Halloween horror.
Look at me.
I look like a freaking chipmunk.
That was two weeks ago.
Since then, I've developed lockjaw
which is about as fun as it sounds.
Couldn't even get a piece
of toast in there, let alone a banana.
If I truly wanted to horrify you,
I would just make a 20 minute video
about what happened to me in that chair.
Teeth dust was blowing into my eyes.
So, gimme a thumbs up if you enjoyed this merry Halloween.
To all those who celebrate, go check
out my last video where Dan reveals
that he is leaving me.
Subscribe.
Have a good day.
Have a good life.
Ding the bell, please ding it.
Apparently it's important and I will see you very soon.
Good bye.
(Phil gasps)
(elephant trumpets)