I'm going to break it down for you in this video.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung
and I'm an attorney.
I’m also a narcissist negotiation expert.
So Ben and Jennifer Lopez are engaged again
and I just want to talk about that in this video
because what's up with that?
I get that Jennifer Lopez wants to have a love life
and I'm all for people being happy in their love life.
I mean, why not?
Why not have a love life and be
happily ever after and have romance in your life,
and I want people to be together and all that good stuff.
Totally
and they should be together if they want to be together.
But what is going on with her?
Jennifer is a master at orchestrating her career.
I do have to say, I mean,
she went from being this dancer and this backup dancers.
All of the things that she's been able to
do and accomplish and be at the pinnacle
and have acting and singing
and remain at the top of her game
and stay looking incredible and I kudos to her.
She looks amazing.
But that's all the reason why all of this is actually very puzzling to me.
Because her love life is quite frankly a mess.
She goes from one guy to the next all the time.
She's all over the place and the guys that she chooses
sometimes they're just very puzzling
and you know, she has to be married or engaged all the time
and what is up with that?
It's like she cannot be alone.
I just want to break that down, you know.
Is she a narcissist?
Is been a narcissist?
I think that there's some red flags going on here
and I just want to talk about them.
So for one thing she just cannot be alone.
She cannot be alone
and why is that?
It's like she has to have a man in her life at all time.
Like there's no break at any moment.
Like not even one day in between when
she's dating and there's like overlap at all times.
So, you know, literally she's breaking up with
A Rod and Ben is swooping in.
It's like they're passing each other on the driveway,
or maybe he's you know,
as A Rod is packing up his stuff been like he is moving in or something.
I mean, it's that much of an overlap at all times,
and I think there's a red flag in that and,
you know Ben, there definitely was red flags with him.
Frankly.
I always say that the red flags in a relationship for marriage
or for any relationship or what
I call the 3 A's
and that's Abuse, Addiction and Adultery
and certainly with Jennifer Garner,
he had two of the three that we definitely know about and that is addiction and adultery.
I mean, he definitely cheated on her and he definitely had an addiction.
I mean he was in and out of rehab a couple of times for sure.
He had an alcohol addiction for sure
and so as far as this whole relationship, they just got engaged.
Why does she have to get engaged? Why does she have to do that?
I mean, why can't she just be?
Why can't you just go the Oprah route or the Goldie Hawn round
and just chill for a little bit?
She's got Beauty. She's got money.
She's got power. She doesn't need to have this.
This love-bombing sort of whirlwind looking at rings.
This whole now we're shopping at Tiffany for rings.
But it's the publicity. It's the attention.
It's the I'm caught up in the whirlwind of it
and that's the narcissism of it.
That's the attention of it.
That's the I have to have that attention and that external validation of it
and that's really a red flag to me because she can't just be grounded.
She can't be okay with just being in her own space and in her own power.
You know, that tells me that there's not an internal sense of value.
That it's all coming from external that she can't be alone,
that she's not feeling okay with just
being herself that she needs this external attention from men.
that she needs to external attention
from the public that she needs to be swept off of her feet.
That she needs all of this stuff going on.
That she needs to be the attention from
external sources that there's a fragile sense of ego going on.
These are all red flags to me. The problem with that is that at some point,
all of this is going to settle down.
That you can't sustain this level of energy
and heightened emotions and fun and games and excitement
and hormones.
You can't sustain that.
You know, let's look at his side of the equation.
Same thing, you know here he's getting all of this attention from
“I've got JLo back on my arm and I'm getting attention for that.”
You know, there were red flags on his side of the equation too.
He came out at one point and blamed
Jennifer Garner for his addictions
and said he was trapped in the marriage
and that's why he was an alcoholic.
Everybody knows that you can't do that.
That you have to take responsibility for your own addictions,
your own sobriety.
You can't make other people wrong for your own addictions as an addict.
You have to take responsibility for your own addictions.
So that's a huge red flag to me and that's extremely narcissistic as well
and he was a cheater.
So what's the next shiny object going
to be for him when all of this settles down?
Is he going to go out and cheat again?
So when all of the dust settles on this and
you know, maybe they have this massive lavish wedding
that gets written up in People magazine
or whatever it is,
and the dust settles because it will eventually and they won't be on page one
of everything and being the center of attention.
Then what?
They actually have to dig in and actually be in a marriage which is a lot of work.
I've been married for For 22 years.
I've been in the same relationship with the same guy for 24 years.
It's a lot of work, you know, the everyday thing.
It's not just all butterflies and rainbows every day.
You actually have to do the hard work
and if you're a narcissist who wants all the attention all the time
and want all of the romance and being swept off your feet,
and you want to be worshiped and you want all of that.
It's not going to happen every single day,
especially when you've got two massive egos
and you both want to have big careers
and you both want to have a lot of attention from everybody.
That's going to be a big problem for both of them.
They've got five children between them.
That's a lot to juggle and a lot to handle plus 2 Ex's and all of that.
So I don't know. We'll see how it goes.
But my guess is that there's some massive red flags going on here,
and I don't see see long-term going on here
and you know, until Jennifer can really figure out
who she is and feeling whole and complete.
Without, you know, this massive worship and attention from a man,
especially one who also needs to be worshipped
and have lots of attention to himself.
She's probably not going to be getting a happily ever after
here that she's looking for but we'll see.
I would love to know what you guys think.
Drop me a comment below and let me know what your thoughts are
and if you think that you might be in a relationship with a narcissist,
I have a quiz in the comments below or in my description below this video.
So you're welcome to take that quiz
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So thanks for stopping by
and as always,
remember the today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I’m Rebecca Zung and I will see all of you guys in the next video.