[ Applause ]
>> Dan Thurmon: Today let's talk
about balance, from a little bit
of a different perspective.
[ Silence ]
[ Applause ]
You should see it
from this side.
Life balance is a concept
that is intriguing
and desirable,
and also completely unrealistic.
I mean even now look up here,
and you'll see I'm not balanced.
I'm constantly making
adjustments and corrections
to protect myself
on this precarious platform,
and after all this work,
after all this effort,
I haven't really gone anywhere.
I'm still in the same place.
You see folks, we're engaged
in the art,
the process
of balancing throughout our
life, which is making those
adjustments, making decisions,
making corrections over time,
responding to opportunities
and challenges.
But balance is something you
never attain,
and yet you've been told
that this is the ultimate goal,
the ultimate purpose,
to achieve life, balance.
I Googled life balance this
morning, and there were 367
million results.
Think of that.
367 million ideas
or observations or opinions
on how you can attain
the unattainable.
And so we beat ourselves
up in pursuit of this idea
of balance,
thinking that if we work hard
enough, or smart enough,
or long enough, that we can get
to this moment
where it all evens out.
And I'm here
to tell you it isn't going
to happen.
You will never achieve
perfect balance.
And along the way,
we beat ourselves
up with the guilt,
and we restrict
our opportunities.
And the pursuit
of balance I think actually is a
negative impact on our lives.
So I want to liberate you
from that today
with a new philosophy,
a new approach.
And I encourage you not
to live your lives on balance,
but rather off balance
on purpose,
off balance on purpose.
Because off balance is
your reality.
That's a good thing.
You have to be off balance
in order to learn,
in order to grow,
in order to love
or serve others,
or improve yourself
in any meaningful way.
The question is are you off
balance in response
to your world,
or are you off balance
on purpose, deliberate,
intentional, and connected
to a sense of meaning, purpose,
mission, that you bring
to what you do every single day?
I mean that's what causes change
for yourself, for your family,
your community for your world.
Purpose. The greatest
organizations,
and the most effective
individuals are those
that have learned
to harness the power of purpose,
and leverage
that for amazing results.
And in that respect,
while that handstand is a model
for remaining and maintaining
at the status quo,
and our off balance
on purpose change transformation
would be more like a backflip,
you know, launching yourself
into uncertainty
when you can't even necessarily
see where you're going
with energy, with commitment,
and with drive.
Yeah.
[ Applause ]
Well thank you.
This may surprise you,
but when I first learned to --
when I was 11 years old
and I was exploring these ideas,
I was what they called a
hyperactive kid.
[Laughter] No,
I'm totally serious.
[Laughter] And it was
at that age I found purpose
in an unlikely place.
It was at the King Richard's
Renaissance Faire in Bristol,
Wisconsin, when I watched
a juggler.
I saw his act 6 times in a row,
this guy was amazing.
His name's Mike von
Drusca [phonetic].
And after the last show
of the day he had noticed I had
been there, and he said kid,
would you like to learn
to juggle?
Sometimes we find purpose,
you see, when others take an
interest in us,
and give us an opportunity
to grow.
I wanted to succeed as much
for his belief in me
as for my own benefit.
And when I engaged the process,
I loved it.
I remember that moment
when it finally clicked
in with 3 balls,
and felt amazing.
But almost immediately a new
question came to mind.
What was that?
Of course, well how do I do 4?
I am obviously so ready.
[Laughter] So I got the 4th
ball, and I tried it,
but I tried it the same way I
knew how to do 3.
They collided,
they hit the ground,
it was a disaster.
And I went back
to my mentor frustrated the next
weekend, and I said Mike,
what's going on?
He said Dan listen,
when you add the 4th ball,
you need to learn a new pattern.
You see throughout life we
engage patterns,
patterns of thinking,
patterns of action,
patterns of interaction
with others.
We experiment.
We find what works,
and then we protect it,
we defend it
against everything else.
And you know what?
If we want to grow beyond our
abilities, we have
to transcend our
current patterns.
What Mike showed me is
that when the balls cross
with 3 balls,
it's not the same with 4.
With even numbers you hold them
a little longer.
There's actually 2 on that side,
2 on this side.
Basic -- the basic patterns
with even numbers do not cross
your body, of course unless
you're doing some kind
of fancy tricks or maneuvers.
But the basic patterns stay
on the same side.
And when he showed me that,
just like you I went oh,
that's really cool.
[Laughter] And I went home armed
with this new knowledge,
and I tried it again,
and this time it still
didn't work.
Now I hadn't practiced it enough
to make it my own,
I hadn't worked hard enough,
and dropped enough,
and picked up those drops
to confirm my commitment.
But a funny thing happened,
is I continued to struggle,
as I continued
to put forth the effort with 4,
I started to notice
something unexpected.
My 3 ball juggling was getting
really, really good.
Truth is I never really got the
hang of 4 until I tried 5.
[Laughter] If you think what
you're doing now is difficult,
it's time to try
something harder.
You must be off balance
in order to learn.
Now 5 balls goes back
to a crossing pattern,
check it out.
So instead of having 1
in the air at all times,
there's 3 in the air
at all times.
But what jugglers know,
and what neuroscientists
understand about the human mind
is that we don't
truly multitask.
We can't do it all at once,
we handle one thing
at a time quickly,
and perform what's called the
quick switch
between our thoughts
and our objectives.
For example,
when one of these balls is
out of my hand,
it's also out of my way.
Yeah, it's out of my control,
it's doing its own thing.
I need to disengage that one,
and engage a new target
above my other hand.
And the key is this,
no matter how much is going on,
5 balls or 7,
there's still space
between the throws and catches,
space between your throws
and catches, your thoughts
and your actions, right,
or what you were doing
and what you are doing next,
or what you hear
and how you choose to respond.
And it's in those spaces
that we reclaim control
of our lives.
You know? It's not
about increasing your pace,
because life speeds right
up with you.
Ironically,
by slowing down even a little,
you begin to notice those
spaces, those opportunities,
and they expand for you.
Here's the 5-ball pattern,
and as you look up here
and you see the 5 balls
in the air, what I want to know
from all of you is,
can you see that pattern?
Can you see what it looks like?
Can you imagine?
Can you? Yeah?
Some of you,
not too many though.
So you know what?
This is TED.
We need to employ some TED red,
and some technology.
Lights please.
[Laughter] Oh yeah.
[Laughter] Now can you see
the pattern?
>> Yes.
>> Dan Thurmon: Yeah.
Some say it looks like the wings
of a butterfly.
I see an infinity sign
reflecting your
infinite potential.
While our patterns are
constantly changing and growing,
it's the patterns
that engage us,
and drive us forward.
Lights please.
Yeah?
[ Applause ]
So why do I tell you this?
Well here's why.
Because a moment ago you just
saw a 5-sphere pattern
in the air.
I want to talk
about your 5 spheres
of success, your life.
Check out the screen.
You see, this model will serve
you personally,
but also professionally
as you lead others,
as you try to understand what
matters most.
Your work, the first sphere,
your relationships, your health,
your spiritual growth,
and your personal interests,
the things you just love to do.
These are your 5 spheres
of success.
First there's your work, right,
your professional pursuits
and commitments,
working on school,
working ultimately toward a
career, whether you're an
entrepreneur
and you're starting your own
business, or you're looking
for the right organization
that really feels purposeful
to you.
How can we lead others,
and work to become the best
at our chosen profession?
Well, we have
to reconcile our family,
our relationships, our friends,
the people we care about,
people we care for.
And you know what balance books
tell you?
Protect your time,
compartmentalize your life
so that they don't overlap,
so that there's not too much
time in each area.
Ridiculous, right?
'Cause there's not enough time
to do that,
and they're constantly
intersecting
where it matters most,
in your thinking,
in your decisions.
How about this sphere,
your health?
That's how you fuel your
pattern, right?
What do you put in your body?
How do you move your body?
How do you rest your body
so that you have the energy
to move forward with purpose
through life?
Health-related goals are
vitally important.
And you know what?
Not only do we hope
to improve ourselves physically,
but also spiritually.
And while this means different
things to different people,
depending on your own beliefs,
your practices,
your spiritual principles,
some it means just getting
active, getting involved
in community outreach
or philanthropy.
Well the key is if you want
to live a life on purpose,
you need to know what that is
and live in congruence
with your spiritual purpose,
and seek to know something
larger than you.
The fifth sphere is this one
here, mentioned it earlier,
your personal interests,
your hobbies, your joys,
your passions,
the things you just love
because they make you you.
They make you unique.
These are the 5 spheres.
And as you can see,
they're always interacting
in this model.
I want you to remember this,
I want you think about this.
Because the pattern that's
created by the way they move
together is an infinity sign,
reflecting your
infinite potential.
You never, you know,
reach your full capacity
to learn, you never reach your
full potential,
because you can always know more
in each of these areas.
And there's an infinite way
that you can define your life.
For each one of us,
we can live a life that's
extraordinary and unique,
and full of passion,
and service to others.
But yet if you were
to freeze frame it
at any one moment, like this,
it doesn't look balanced at all.
You know, there's some things
in your hands,
other things totally
out of your reach, and,
you know, that's okay,
because it's still connected,
connected to you,
it's your pattern.
And more importantly,
they're connected
to one another,
and this is the key.
This is what I believe,
is if we construct our life
from the inside
out with these life lines,
like this, if I were
to draw a life line from work
to relationships,
that implies the question well,
how do you connect those?
What would that look like?
We work to provide
for the people we care about,
we go back to our relationships
to get this juice to bring back
into work, and in the flow
of life there's times
when it makes sense
and it's close together,
and other times it's totally
stressed to the limit.
Like for me in my life,
as a professional speaker
and author I'm
on the road a lot.
I have two kids,
my son Eddie is 14,
my daughter Maggie is 10.
So there's a lot of time
that I'm away.
But throughout their life we've
strengthened that life line
by bringing them with us,
you know, on different
experiences,
by talking about my clients
and my audiences,
what I'm learning along the way.
And see when I bring them along
on a trip, and involve them
in the show in some way,
they're growing,
and they're connected.
And also that way all their
travel, clothing,
and food is tax deductible.
[Laughter] So how can you,
or how can your organization
find ways to capitalize on this,
to incorporate family
into this concept of work,
right, so that it becomes a
purposeful pursuit?
In total there are 10
life lines.
How about your work
and your health?
Does your work support your
desire to be healthy,
or challenge it in some way?
And if so, what are you going
to do about that?
Hey, the greatest organizations
understand the power
of wellness,
the power of fitness initiatives
and challenges.
How about work
and spiritual growth, right?
Are you practicing your
spiritual principles
in the context of going
to school, or going to your job?
'Cause that's what it's
all about.
And also bringing
that corporate philosophy
to philanthropy.
Interests, working at a career
that interests you, right?
Or bringing your personal
interest into the workplace.
Relationships,
the share your desire
to be healthy, grow spiritually,
and you share interests
with the people you care
about too.
You see, it's all connected.
You can get healthy,
you can grow spiritually while
you do things you love to do.
This is why I go mountain
unicycling as my
workout routine.
It's a great workout, trust me.
And I do it
with my buddy Bobby Coggin
[phonetic],
so we've got a friendship
component too.
When life's in the moment,
and in motion like this, hey,
the shapes and forms are
constantly changing,
but a connected life pattern
will help you sustain those
twists and detours as you move
through life.
It really will.
And so you look
for those opportunities,
those options which are
in your hand,
the possibilities are
truly infinite.
And again, the greatest
organizations
that get ranked among the best
places to work are those
that look at this,
and say how can we create an
environment
where people don't feel
like they are choosing
between life and work.
It's not either or,
it's all of the above.
To take this to another level,
I have my son Eddie
with me today,
how are you doing, son?
Tax deductible.
Stand here buddy.
Alright. We're going to go
up another notch to the top.
Now when I -- thank you.
When I first tried one of these,
I learned a lot about balance,
extremely critically.
First of all I tried it
like this, I thought I'd be
closer to the ground,
just to be careful.
But what I realized is
if you focus on the ground,
that's where you go,
immediately.
[Laughter] The only way
to feel a sense of control
in an off balance environment
in which you live is
to elevate your focus,
to elevate your vision,
to be able to look farther
than others are willing to go.
And then you tell me,
what's my first move
to go forward?
What's the first thing I have
to do?
What was it?
>> Lean.
>> Dan Thurmon:
Lean forward, right?
Off balance --
>> On purpose.
>> Dan Thurmon: -- on purpose.
What you do
on a 6-foot unicycle is you lean
forward, you start falling
toward your face,
and then you chase your body
with the unicycle,
so hopefully you don't get
to your face.
[Laughter] It's scary, alright?
It makes you a
little uncomfortable.
But here's the deal.
If you limit yourself
to what's comfortable,
you deny yourself
what's possible.
If you're unwilling to lean
into the uncertainty,
if you're apprehensive
about change and growth,
you may start going backward.
Or maybe I'll just stay
where I am,
because I'm already successful,
I'm already good.
I don't want
to get too good too quickly.
They couldn't handle me
out there.
[Laughter] This is called
idling, idling, right?
'Cause you're not standing
still, you're going forward
and backward, forward
and backward
to protect yourself.
We want to lean forward
into those changes,
accept those new risks
and responsibilities.
Come on out here, Eddie.
Accepting risks
and responsibilities,
even though they may be
daunting, these are very
real folks.
I have just upped my stakes.
And what I'm telling you is I've
upped my stakes, so up yours.
[Laughter] Up your stakes.
Up your purpose,
because you need purpose
to engage in something you
perceive to be a little bit
risky, a little bit
of a stretch.
Here the goal isn't just
to make a catch,
but more specifically
to catch the handle.
[Laughter] They're all unique.
This one has double blades,
and this one's heavy.
You know what, my friends?
I think we all can reach beyond
our current levels
of excellence.
But in order to do that,
you don't have to be balanced,
you don't protect yourself
against those opportunities,
you embrace them.
Embrace uncertainty
with clear objectives,
with clear targets,
realizing it's just one thing
at a time, just one moment.
So be present where you are.
And yet you need to let go
of the idea of balance,
and grab onto living off balance
on purpose.
[ Silence ]
[ Applause ]
>> Dan Thurmon: Thanks a lot.
Yeah.
[ Applause ]