craig ferguson has a reputation as one
of the most fun charming flirts in
hollywood
some female celebrities would go on his
show just for the chance to flirt with
him
me yes i heard you're a big flirt and i
like flirting
i really didn't want to do any more talk
shows but my
publicist sent me some tapes of you and
then i developed a small crush
while craig has clear advantages like
being a famous tv host
a lot of what he does can be done by
anybody who wants to be more attractive
in conversation
specifically craig has seven habits that
can help you build chemistry with anyone
learning just a few of these habits will
let you go into any conversation with
confidence
knowing people are going to love
flirting with you and if you end up with
a talk show one day
you'll know your personality will get
you reactions like this i just want you
to know really for real i have about
25 girlfriends who are madly in love
with you who are
really upset that i'm here and they're
not the first thing you'll notice about
craig is that he starts almost every
conversation in a fun positive way
most people we interact with have boring
conversation habits so being around
someone who makes us laugh and feel good
is almost like a drug we want to be
around that person all the time
one way craig does this is with a high
energy enthusiastic compliment
you look sensational i mean sensational
thank you look
at you look at you woman you look
sensational
hello karen how lovely to see you
nice to see you too you look absolutely
enchanting
the first thing to notice is craig's
word choice most people giving a
compliment would just say you look
great this is boring by using more
unique words like enchanting and
sensational your compliment is much more
likely to light someone up that said a
good flirty conversation doesn't have to
start with a compliment the second and
more important piece of craig's charm is
his effusive positive energy in your own
life a good rule of thumb is to start a
conversation with just a bit more energy
than most people in a setting so at a
loud bar
that may mean being really big with your
body language and voice but in a coffee
shop it can be as subtle as a smile and
speaking 20
louder than most people there this is
complimented well by craig's second
habit
over-the-top teasing have you ever been
to scotland no i'm
i i have i haven't seen oh wait wait i
forgot you forgot my
homeland what the hell
i went to edinburgh nothing but
compliments is boring non-stop teasing
can make you seem like a jerk but when
you marry the two you create a fun
rollercoaster of emotion
if you're not quite sure how to tease
someone while flirting there are two
easy teases you can steal from craig
the first is asking a rhetorical
question that assumes something absurd
about her here's two quick examples
as a member of the non-tattooed
community i find tattoos fascinating
really yeah are you interested in
getting one no really why
why do you hate america and you can you
drink coffee when you're pregnant
you can i think you can have a cup i
don't drink coffee because you don't it
makes me crazy how long have you been in
al-qaeda
if you're going to do this you want to
make sure your question is obviously
absurd like being an al-qaeda this makes
it more likely to make her laugh
and it makes it clear that you're being
playful so you can be confident you
won't come off like a jerk
another easy tease is to call out when
the person says something cliche
here's an example of a cliche call out i
have a
gluten allergy so i can't really eat you
have a gluten allergy that's so unusual
to hear from an actress
no it's for real for real
if you tease someone with a cliche call
out you're very likely to see them try
to justify why they're different and not
like the cliche
it creates a frame where they're
basically trying to get you to like them
or think they're unique
you saw that at the end of that last
clip and here's another example of it
again
i'm not really a vegan yet but i'm
working on it do you know how many girls
i've had really
okay this type of teasing doesn't have
the same absurdity shield
so reserve the cliche call out for
cliches that people won't be insecure
about
craig has another habit that makes his
teasing well received rather than
hurtful
he'll call himself out as well
[Music]
by teasing yourself as well as other
people you make it clear that it's not
actually a critique and you're just
saying whatever comes to mind that makes
you laugh
if teasing intimidates you you can start
by focusing on something more
foundational
the habit of being playfully absurd
playfulness is a key part of flirting in
this next clip notice how the joke
doesn't just make her laugh
it immediately changes the tone of the
conversation
fries are from belgium aren't they yes
belgium is everything bad for you fries
chocolate waffles black tower heroine
black tar heroine
most people would have chimed in with
something else belgium is actually known
for
it's a common mistake when flirting to
think of the goal of the conversation as
simply exchanging information the reason
teasing and being playfully absurd help
build chemistry is because there's
another goal when flirting which is to
create emotions
to be like craig you want to focus on
creating a conversation that's fun
and established that you're more playful
than most people this helps tremendously
with the thing craig is probably most
famous for
it's optional but it's a huge part of
craig's attractive persona and the
chemistry he creates with his guests
craig creates an environment where
people feel safe being flirty and sexual
watch this clip of josh stone and you'll
see
even she's surprised at what she's
willing to say after 20 minutes talking
to craig
but it's valentine's day so you can
squirt whatever you want no you can
no you can cream
[Laughter]
[Applause]
clearly she feels freer than normal and
more willing to say inappropriate things
just for fun how does he do this there's
several ways
one is to go there first on your own
with a joke that isn't about them
here's an example of how craig works sex
into a conversation in a way that feels
natural rather than creepy
she doesn't do that yeah i like to talk
about it she punches you
right in the face that's what i yeah if
i ask for it nicely
[Laughter]
craig probably could have gotten a
similar laugh with a joke like she's
small but she packs a wallop but he
specifically makes jokes about dating or
sex to see if the other person jumps in
and plays along if they don't
no sweat if they do it becomes much
easier for you to build sexual chemistry
that particular joke also implies that
craig is non-judgmental about kinks
that non-judgmentalness encourages the
other person to feel comfortable joining
in
here's another example notice how casual
his tone is
oh i i because you know
i'm sensitive are you into s m i'm not
really
that's a good segway i'm just saying
are you do you like a little bit
a little bit just a little bit just a
little bit like a hair pull he asks it
like he asks any other question like
it's no big deal and suddenly they've
gone from having a normal conversation
to discussing what they like in the
bedroom
that said bringing up sex runs the risk
of seeming creepy so you'll have to
calibrate
another way to make this more likely to
go well is to playfully misinterpret
something so that
she was the one who took the
conversation sexual here are two quick
examples
yeah i think i like it yeah me too i had
a lot of fun
on the back of a horse
i've got a really cool garden why
wouldn't i dance in it do you garden do
you have a compost heap
i do garden but not as regularly as i
would like
but we're still talking about gardening
playfully misinterpreting something she
says is sexual gives her the opportunity
to talk about her dating or sex life
and because you used humor and framed it
like she was the one hinting at it
if she doesn't want to talk about it she
can just laugh and move on without it
creating any awkwardness
if joking about these things isn't
something you feel comfortable with
you can still use this style of playful
misinterpretation
to make people laugh and like being
around you for instance
watch how craig uses misinterpretation
after asking if yvonne
surfs i do a lot of adventurous things
but water is not one of my best friends
i'm not
not down with water really yeah what do
you do when it's thirsty time
these platonic jokes are still good for
building a connection because they make
it fun to be around you
another way that craig creates a
flirtatious vibe is with innuendo he'll
say something that's technically
innocent but could have a double meaning
watch here as he critiques mila kunis
for her harmonica technique
take your time take your time
don't just rush in there blowing and
sucking and chewing
take your time
that's wildly inappropriate except it
isn't which is why it gets such a big
laugh for mila one thing with any of
these misinterpretations or innuendos
you don't need to linger on them watch
in this next clip how craig makes it
work together she asks him if he ever
loses his cool on set and he starts with
an over-the-top compliment
then switches to an innuendo before
like i i lose it during the show
i'm losing it now when i saw your shoes
i was like
i've lost it you have i've lost i know
where it is
you do i've got a rough idea yeah
now watch how even though moon is ready
to play along craig's already moved on
to something new
no i don't know where it is you were
that's a very interesting name moon
thank you what's your uh ancestry then
what's what's that
by not lingering craig shows he's flirty
and inappropriate mostly to amuse
himself
which makes him much more attractive
once you see it's well received you can
come back to it again with a different
joke and stay on the topic for longer
with innuendo misinterpretations and
absurdity what you'll often see is that
craig will be the first person to make a
joke sexual
but once he does the other person is
happy to join in and it's not just
female guests he does this with
for example watch this interaction with
chris pine you have harmonicas
yeah do you blow the mouth organ i
i do you blow the mouth morgan how do
you think i got this job
teasing absurdity misinterpretation
innuendo craig does so much it can seem
overwhelming
if none of these are habits for you
already you don't have to panic
rather than try to master them all at
once pick whichever one seems the most
fun to you and focus on building that
habit first so let's say you most enjoy
craig's absurdity next time you have a
conversation with a stranger
even with a friend focus on finding just
one thing you can say that's playfully
absurd
make it a game for yourself if you want
to give yourself an edge in the game
watch 10 minutes of craig videos before
the conversation to prime your brain to
be in that state purposely doing this
several days in a row will make it
easier and easier for you to do it
without thinking
by starting in conversations with
friends rather than beautiful women you
take the pressure off yourself and you
make it easier for you to build the
habit
this ties well with the next thing that
lets craig confidently flirt with anyone
he's attracted to which is that he
flirts with the world
craig's charming flirty personality
isn't something he only turns on when
talking to a woman he's interested in
sexually
he flirts with every woman that's on the
show and while he tones it down with men
he's still happy to use innuendo or even
loudly compliment a man's looks
hello craig you look really nice these
likes these are well
well thank you flirting with the world
helps you for a number of reasons
if a woman sees everyone around you
laughing it makes you more attractive
if you see someone you're attracted to
it'll be easier to approach them because
you're already in an outgoing playful
state
and if the way you interact with a woman
you're attracted to matches the energy
and playfulness you interact with
everyone else
it's much more likely to feel natural
and much less likely to seem creepier
try hard
that fear of seeming creepy is a big
reason why many people feel nervous to
flirt
to make sure you aren't seen as creepy
there's another habit you can steal from
craig
his leaned back body language a common
body language mistake that makes people
uncomfortable is leaning in closely when
you speak
completely agnostic of any politics this
is the best example i could think of to
show how leaning in can make someone
uncomfortable
when you lean in like that it can feel
trapping especially if you follow as
they lean away to create space
by contrast if you lean back you make it
clear that you aren't trapping them and
you wouldn't follow if they chose to
walk away
you still want to get comfortable with
some level of physical touch if you want
to build chemistry with someone but that
can be done with high fives shoulder
touches or hugs
if you want to learn more about touch we
go into detail about it in our video how
to be popular without trying
which we'll link to in the description
craig has one more trick that lets him
confidently flirt with anyone he has
purposefully gotten comfortable with his
worst case scenario
on a talk show the worst thing that can
happen is the conversation stalls into a
long awkward pause
so what does craig do he purposely
creates long awkward pauses
i want to do an awkward pause
either consciously as training or just
by thinking it's funny he exposed
himself to hundreds of awkward pauses
way longer and more
awkward than what we'd ever experienced
in conversation so he has no reason to
fear them
this doesn't mean you should go out of
your way to make people uncomfortable
but that you should find harmless ways
to expand your comfort zone
if you're watching this video then
you're probably interested in meeting
someone so one way to expand your
comfort zone is simply to talk to more
people
if you aren't sure what to say to start
the conversation two conversation
starters you can go with are
hey i don't think i've met you yet i'm
ben except say your name
or if you want to take a page out of
craig's book you can go with something
like
hey i know this is totally random but
you're absolutely gorgeous i'd be
kicking myself for the rest of the day
if i didn't come find out more about you
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either way i hope you liked this video
thanks to our video editor therese for
all the hard work editing thank you for
watching and hopefully we'll see you in
the next one