The casual nature of dating in today’s world is often very frustrating... especially when
you find yourself dating a person who doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship.
So you find yourself in a situationship, but you want to be in a relationship.
What do you do?
In this video I'm going to tell you exactly what you need to say to Get him To commit
now.
No tricks, no schemes no games..
so stay tuned because we’re starting in 4 seconds.
hi everyone..
I’m dr Antonio Borrello, Welcome to another video.
I’m a psychologist and relationship coach and I make weekly dating and relationship
advice videos.
This channel is all about helping you build great relationships so you can grow happy
with the people you love.
So, if you’re interested in making your love life the best part of your life, start
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anything.
OK… on to what you can do to get him to take your relationship to the next level and
commit.
So often, women find themselves dating a person they really like... and wanting a commitment,
but finding that the other person doesn’t want to take the relationship to the next
level.
For example...
you’re dating for several months and things seem to be going really well.. but still,
he hasn't brought up the "commitment" talk.. and you really don't know what to think.
That's right, you're in a situationship but you want to be in a relationship.
If you remember, a situationship is basically a pseudo relationship…
it’s an almost relationship..
You’re seeing a person regularly, doing things that couples do, including physical
intimacy and sex... but it’s casual.
No commitment and no talks of a future together.
And if you spend enough time together, the “what are we” conversation Inevitably
comes up and is met with..
I don’t want to be in a relationship…
I don’t want a commitment at this time, why do we need labels… ya know.. you’ve
probably heard all of the excuses So now what… you like this person and you
have a great time together, you’re acting like a couple, but they don’t want a commitment?
What do you do?
How can you get your man to commit.
Im going to tell you exactly how to handle this situation.
And, I’m saving the most important part for last… because without committing to
making the last change, (pun intended) the others won’t matter at all..
So make sure you watch until the end..
it’s absolutely essential.
Ok… before you start making any changes…
ASK yourself… is this person really relationship worthy?
Ask yourself..
how much of my desire to be in a committed relationship is influenced by the fact that
he doesn’t want one?
Ya know, the classic, we want what we cant have?
You’ve gotta Make sure that he is capable of a relationship with emotional intimacy..
I mean is he just a player, or is he someone who values of love, loyalty, mutual
respect and the possibility of a future.
Because Without these, the relationship is nothing more than a casual thing that becomes
disposable.
Again,.. is this situationship really that good?
Are you really that compatible…
do you share mutual respect, and strong feelings, can you see your left making long term goals
with this person.
If yes, let’s go on
Ok.. let’s assume that he’s not a player,?
He’s the relationship type.
Or perhaps he has a solid history of long term relationships…
then what?
He tells you that he’s unsure and not ready for a relationship..
I can tell you.. that’s when it hurts the most… it sucks and you may want to tell
him off.. or block him and never look back…
But that would be a bad idea … what if he really is just a bit worried and
doesn’t want to make another mistake..
what if he just needs a little more time.. telling him off would certainly damage the
relationship and might result in you losing him forever.
So, what should you do??
Well, start by keeping your head up… let him know that you understand that he is unsure
or confused… and that like you, he deserves to be in the happiest and best relationship
for him.. let him know that is super important to you…
and then let him know of a solution that might really help him… and that is
that he needs to take some time and be alone so he can figure it out..
yes.. you are the one who suggests to him that he needs time away to figure it out…
because again… everyone deserves to be happy and to be with the person they are 100% sure
of.. and committed to that relationship.
When you tell him that….. in the nicest most sincere way possible, you are letting
him know that you want him to be happy… and you want him to figure it out.. you’re
also telling him that this situation isn’t meeting your needs… because you need someone
who is all in and sure.
So, In the meantime, you’re going to continue to date because you want a relationship…
and when he figures it out.. maybe you’ll still be available..
maybe.
Lol.
Maybe you’ll be in a relationship..
maybe you’ll be married.
When you handle the conversation in This manner, you are conveying the following messages to
him.
First, you’re letting him know that you care about his well-being and want The best
for him, even if that doesn’t include you.
You’re also letting him know that you are not willing to tolerate or except anything
less than 100% from a person.
You’re letting him know that you deserve more and that you you are showing love for
yourself and will not except less than you deserve.
And lastly you showing him that you have the confidence that you will find what you were
looking for and despite being disappointed you know that this is the right thing to do.
You’re also letting him know that your life doesn’t stop as you wait around for him
to figure it out.
And yeah, Doing nothing is not an option.
And the last and most important thing you must do... overcome your fear of rejection
and the relationship ending and be willing to walk away with your head held up high.
You’ve got to be committed to walking away as difficult and scary as that may seem.
That’s the only way he’s going to recognize that he must make a decision or risk losing
you.
Do not fool yourself into thinking that you can continue dating and seeing each other
while waiting on him to make the decision.
If you continue to see him you’re letting him know that it’s OK to continue casually
dating and you’re letting him know that he doesn’t have to make any type of decision.
This lowers your value and shows that you care about his feelings maybe more than your
own.
Don’t do it... don’t fool yourself into believing you can wait it out and that things
will work out.
The last thing I want to say is this… if a relationship is meant to be… if he is
the person for you, if you are really that compatible, then implementing these suggestions
will certainly bring him to wanting a commitment with you.
That’s for sure…
But if it’s not right…
if he’s not the right one for you, if there are too many differences, or if he’s not
the committing type… nothing you can do will change that outcome…
it just wont work… and that’s ok.
If For whatever reason, you were not right for someone else.
That decision is up to them.
It is easy to get hung up on the “whys” behind their decision, but dwelling on them
doesn’t change the reality.
If you aren’t right for someone else, That MEANS they aren’t right for you.
Move on and let them go.
And Do not use the experience as proof that you aren’t good enough.
Meeting a person that’s not right for you.. a person that is not a good match is not a
reflection on you.
So.
Have you been In this situation or something similar?
How did you handle it?
Also, do you agree with my approach here.. leave a comment below and let’s start a
discussion.
Remember this Channel is all about building great relationships so you can go happy with
people you love.
So if you’re interested in making your love life the best part of your life make sure
that you subscribe so that you don’t miss any of our future videos.
Oh if you found this video helpful please hit that thumbs up to let me know that I should
make more videos like this one.
Thanks for watching…
I’ll see you in the next video.