hey insider in today's video I want to discuss with you something personal of
which I've not shared with lots of people which is regards to a heartbreak
I went through which really made me stay down for many many months and the
lessons I learned from that of which today I'm gonna break down to three
ways that you can overcome a heartbreak in fact I wish these were the steps the
ways I knew when I went through the heartbreak I went through and if right
now you're going through pain because of some sort of relationship breakup
whatever maybe for you just want to remind you of the fact that it too shall
pass my hope is by the end of today's video is it allows you to really own
yourself and give you the strength and the courage to persevere and realize
that this too shall pass you will look back on this one day and you'll realize
why you've gone through it as after all life is there to support you it's happening
for a reason without further ado insider let's go on to the first way
which is about realizing that there is a timing for everything now my heartbreak
happened when I was in University I was dating a girl and it was one of the
first times in my life where I felt like I was truly in love I've had casual
relationships in the past I used to be very shy when I was growing up and as a
result the the girls I used to get in the past it wasn't ideally my type I was
very desperate just to get a girl let's say and this is why when I got to
university and got into this relationship this was my ideal type
and so I felt very fortunate in a way and quickly things took off within the
first year of starting University I was in a very committed relationship and
after the second year things were going strong and it was around at the end of
that year where things began to really fall apart it's all of a sudden because we
were almost like in a bubble in one day that bubble popped what ended up
happening was she wanted to go on a student exchange program abroad meaning
she would be now away from where we were living at the time I was
studying in London and she wants to go out too to Netherlands to study out
there in a place called Groningen and the moment I had that because I was so
attached to her and this is one of the big lessons I learned because I was so
attached to her I felt like I was gonna miss a part of me
I felt like part of me was going to go away and as a result what I do I began
to hold on and I tried to convince her not to go out there and study I tried to
convince her to stay in London and the more I tried to convince her the more
she wanted to push away and go out there eventually she did go out there and I
felt so hollow inside and I began to almost rage with anger because I didn't
really know how to cope with this I put all of my let's say heart on the line
for this relationship I'd not built up my mental fortitude or personal
development to the level it is today I didn't really self-love myself to the
extent that I do today I honestly felt like that other half is now missing
that's the problem I find with a lot of people today they call their partner the
other half if you look at that from an analogy point of view
metaphorical point of view you're literally saying you're missing your
other half this is your other half when in fact today I've realised it's about
getting yourself to the level where you realize you are the other half when
you've got your cup full you can get somebody else meet somebody else with
their cup full and that way you're not trying to fulfill each other's
insecurities you are there as two strong souls and this is something that I
didn't have at the time in regards to my level of personal development so the
moment she went out there I felt the need to rage and I remember every
opportunity I had to Skype with her I would always ask a question such as did
you see another guy and I just used to get very jealous and all of the negative
sides of me began to show up it wasn't long until we went for a very deep
conversation where she decided it was best to end the relationship then and
there and I remember in that moment my whole world felt like it's sunk in I
felt like I've lost literally my other half I
didn't know what to do myself fell like I was in a dark hole and I couldn't get
out the only thing I could think of that time was to go actually see her out in
Netherlands cause I thought she was making an irrational decision so I actually made a
bold audacious move to actually go out there I jumped on a coach which took
around 24 hours to get to the place she was living in Netherlands called Groningen
and I basically was stood outside her dorm as she was staying at and I
called her mobile phone and she picked up and I said hey have a look at the
balcony and here I was in my little model world thinking she'll be
ecstatic to see me the moment she saw me when she was stood in that balcony and I
was on the ground floor she looked really shocked she came out and
she said Tim you got to go home I was really taken back to cut the long story
short I end up heading back in another 24 hours on the coach and I had so much
time to reflect being an introvert I love to reflect and this was the moment
where I began to journal I was on my phone and I still got these notes to
this day and I was saying to myself whatever hell I'm going through right now
it's there to shape me the the pain I'm going through is there to help me to
best live the life I wanna live tomorrow and there's a first time I fully began to
trust in myself that I can make it happen
it feels terrible right now by I told myself you know what I need to
experience this pain in order for me to experience pleasure because if you've
never been down you don't know what up feels like and I began to love myself I
began to own myself the first way is to realize like I mentioned to trust in in
the process trust in the journey and realize that there is a timing for
everything because the second thing that I began to
do which is the second way is I began to work on myself the moment I arrived
after literally I spent almost two days two whole days
on a on a coach where I didn't even sleep properly the moment I arrived I
touched down into London I thought this insane amount of energy it was crazy I
remember I went to the gym I worked out for like so many hours just got all of
that anger and pain out of me and it felt amazing cause I just felt like I was
nourishing myself it's like what my body wanted that's what my soul wanted
you see if you're going through pain right now you've gone through heartbreak
you want to begin to realize you got to get your cup full this is a sign for you
if you're feeling in that pain you feel like you're missing other half meaning
you want to get yourself to a level where you are the other half because I want
you to realize this insider and this is something I wish I told myself
in that moment there's something I wish I acknowledge much much early on
you got to realize that you are responsible for the amount of love that
you're receiving in your life what that means there's a person looking at you in
the mirror when you look in the mirror every single morning and night that's the
person he'll give you the most amount of fulfillment that is the person that'll
give you the most amount of love you ever ever experience I have so many
rules in the way that's preventing me from
feeling like I was good enough I've so many rules I enforced on my life in
regards to when I feel happy when I feel love when I feel all of this and through
this experience of going on that long long coach ride I got to the end and
realized who made it these freaking rules I felt so depressed I felt all of this
but then I realized for a breakthrough moment that was me that decided these
rules and because I decided these rules I've also got the decision to make
I've got the choice to choose something new you see most people out there we
make it so hard for us to feel the feelings we want to fill and we make it
so easy for us to fill the feelings we don't want to feel the person who
decided when you feel happy the person who decided when you feel love is you
and so if you're feeling pain right now realize you've decided to feel pain and
this may be something that you don't wanna hear right now but this is
something that you need to hear reframe this ask yourself what good can come out
of this experience how can that grow because if you look at the times in your
life that you've been shaped the most it's not the times when you're sitting
back on the beach sipping margaritas is the times in your life where you've been
tested is the times in life when the storms are coming in and you're running
out of luck you're saying to yourself I don't know what's happening if you look
back at those times in your life you thank yourself right now you'd be like
thank goodness that's happened that otherwise I won't be here and although
this feels like the storm period of your life I want you to realize six months a year
down the line when you may have found the ideal partner for you you'd be
saying to yourself thank goodness as well and so whilst the
storms are here I want you to change the meaning of pain because most people have
associated pain with negativity most people have associated with sadness but
that again is a rule that you've imposed on yourself pain problems are often
gifts in disguise the problem is the gift comes in wrapping paper you
you may not wanna open if you have the courage to ask yourself what goodness
can come out of this experience I can promise you this my friend you're gonna
grow stronger than you ever ever can ever imagine and that goes on to the
third way which I began to do which is I began to develop myself
you see the more you develop your mental fortitude not only is it gonna
improve the way you handle any setbacks like heartbreaks but it was also gonna
improve the other pillars of your life your health your your wealth your
love and happiness and so forth because the more you understand your inner world
the more you can master outer world because you cannot change what's
happening out there you cannot change if somebody turns
around to you and says it's over you cannot change the external circumstances
to a point but you can change how you're going to react to it and that's all
determined by how you see the world as a great thing goes when you change the way
you look at the world the world you look at changes so when you change the way
you look at this heartbreak the heartbreak you looking at changes it's a
blessing in disguise this is what I want you to realise deep
inside insider you know what when I went through this is sucked I know how much
pain you may be going through right now and I just want to say I hope this video
has helped today even thinking back for me I I feel emotional in regards to what's
happened but I look back now and I thank and I thank my previous partner for the
pain I've gone through because I realized I've grown I've transformed
it's the person I believe I was point become the lessons I've learned through
that breakup if I hadn't learn it I could have
screwed up even bigger and so I'm at the point where I've truly forgiven approved
his partner and I wish you all the best and that's why I would wish upon you
insider do whatever it takes my friend to overcome this and I hope you found
this video helpful by the way if you have be sure to share this video your
friends and loved ones because I believe life is all about paying it forwards so
it makes for the share the video if you found this video helpful
you're gonna take action be sure to like this video and comment below in regards to
any questions feedback you may have would be great to hear from you and as
always my friend follow you heart my friend and take action and go live the
life you're truly born to live I'll see you on the next video soon