What's going on, everybody?
I'm Trevor Noah.
Welcome to The Daily Show, coming to you from Atlanta!
We're here in the flesh.
Oh, and I'm loving it.
Can I tell you how much I am loving it here?
Last night-- last night I celebrated
my first Atlanta Halloween.
I feel like I learned so much about this place.
Yeah.
First up, we went to a place called Virginia Highlands.
[cheering]
And I don't know if I'm right or not,
but those people must be rich.
Yeah, because forget full-size candy.
They were giving out king-size bars.
It was just like, full--
I was like, damn, even with inflation?
They were like, yeah.
They're balling out there.
We had a hipster Halloween.
We were in Little Five Points.
That was really cool.
It was quaint.
Yeah.
[cheering]
We stopped-- we stopped at a little party in Georgia Tech.
That was cool as well.
Yeah.
I think we got there late, though, because there
was like no women.
We were ready.
I don't know what happened.
Oh, then we went to a place called Decatur.
That was really interesting.
Yeah.
[cheering]
Decatur.
I could tell, like, that's where
a lot of the white people live because of all the Black Lives
Matter signs on the lawn.
I could tell.
[laughter]
Oh, my favorite party of the night
was-- my friend took me to a Halloween party in Bankhead.
[cheering]
That was interesting.
Yeah.
I learned a valuable lesson in Bankhead.
Do not assume that the people are dressed up
just because it's Halloween.
[laughter]
Yes, that just might be how they dress.
I walked up to a gentleman, and I was like, wow, man.
I was like, you look dope.
Are you Shakespeare?
He's like, no, I'm a pimp.
[laughter]
I was like, well, here's your king-size Snicker
bar, my friend.
You did well.
Pleasure meeting you.
We're back, people, night two.
I'm so excited.
Everything's going on right now.
Midterms are happening.
The world is still happening.
You know, the news-- what's happening in the news?
What's happening in the news?
Oh, well, let's kick things off with the big news of the day,
right, starting with Elon Musk, the guy
who always looks like a ghost, whether it's Halloween or not.
For months now-- for months now,
Musk has said that he wanted to own Twitter, right?
And the reason he wanted to own Twitter
is because he wanted to make sure that it became a haven
for free speech, right?
He wanted to change it to that.
Because let's be honest up.
Until now, you know, people have
really held back on Twitter.
[laughter]
And I always find myself scrolling and thinking,
but what do you really think?
Why are you so reserved, sir?
So, anyway, on Thursday, the day Elon officially took over,
right, we got a taste of this extra free speech, right?
Because in the first 12 hours under Elon's ownership,
the use of the N-word on Twitter shot up 500%.
[booing]
500%, which, no, you don't know.
You don't know. Who knows what it is?
It could be racist.
Yeah, it could be, could be, right?
It's just you feel free and feel emboldened
to say it now, right?
Or it could be Black people watching Elon
take over like, this nigga.
[laughter]
You don't know which one it is.
You're not sure.
Because he's going crazy. Here's my question.
Here's my question.
I really want to know this.
Why is it always when the free speech people,
right-- all those people are like, we want free speech--
why do they never want to use their free speech
to say words like perambulate or pusillanimous?
Like, it's never stuff like that.
Have you noticed?
They're like, we want free speech!
We want free speech!
You're like, OK, what do you want to say?
Nigger.
[laughter]
Like, really?
All the things you could have said in the world, every word,
everything you could have spoken about,
all the issues, what do you want
to say than any other word?
Hmm, niggers.
Feels like he doesn't want free speech.
You just want to hate on people, right?
So, yeah, it looks like Elon is--
he's scrambling.
He's scrambling to figure out, you know,
how to make this whole thing work.
Because, remember, he spent $44 billion--
well, he was forced to spend $44 billion
because it was a troll that turned into a real--
he used his free speech, and he paid a big price.
And it's going to be hard to make money from this thing,
you know?
Twitter has a lot of debt, right?
They're not profitable as a company.
And so today, to try and mitigate this,
Elon Musk came out, and he said he's going to start charging
people $8 a month to be verified with a blue check
mark next to their name.
Yeah, $8 a month for the blue checkmark because I guess
he's hoping that everyone else on Twitter
will also make terrible financial decisions like
he did.
[laughter]
No, because I'm sorry. $8?
What are you-- what are you spending $8 a month for?
Like, the blue check-- you realize what you--
with $8 a month, you can subscribe--
you can get, like, Netflix.
You can get Paramount+.
You can get Hulu.
Or-- or can pay so that people verify that they
actually shitting on you.
It's just like, oh, this is the real Trevor Noah.
I hate this guy!
Yeah!
Oh, what was even funnier was the reason.
This is the reason Elon Musk gave.
He said the reason he's doing this-- the reason he's doing
it is because he's sick of Twitter's current lords
and peasants system for who has or who
doesn't have a blue checkmark.
And then he ended it with power to the people.
Blue for $8 a month.
[laughter]
So here's my question.
If you're trying to create equality on Twitter,
why charge anyone to be verified?
Huh?
Yeah, just give everyone a blue checkmark then.
Why are you charging the people?
[applause]
Give it to everyone for free, or give it to no one.
Give it to no one, right?
But it doesn't make sense to offer it as equality,
and then put a price on it.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Can you imagine if MLK was out there like, I have a dream.
I have a dream.
And I'll tell you all about it for 8.99 a month.
[laughter]
It wouldn't be the same thing.
[applause]
It's all about equality.
No, you're trying to make money.
I get it.
Yeah, so I think this $8 a month thing is ridiculous,
you know?
If you ask me, if Elon Musk wants to make money
from Twitter, what he should do,
don't charge people for blue checkmarks.
No, you know, charge white people to say the N-word.
[laughter]
Twitter will be the most profitable company in history.
Racists are going to be taking out loans.
I need a bit of extra cash.
My neighbors are so goddamn loud.
I could use this.
What else is going on in the news?
Oh, of course, of course, it's the story of that crazy dude.
I'm sure you've all seen this by now.
The crazy guy who broke into Nancy Pelosi's house, and then
attacked her 82-year-old husband with a hammer.
Now you would assume--
I would assume-- probably all of you
would assume that everyone, regardless of their politics,
would be against hammering the elderly, right?
You would assume that, right?
But, apparently-- no, but, apparently,
things have changed.
[applause]
Because it turns out there are many Republicans who find
this whole thing really funny.
A lot of Republicans have publicly
condemned the violence.
But some are actually making jokes about it.
Yeah, that's exactly right, Wolf.
I mean, instead of this moment of unity,
what we have seen is Republicans actually mocking
Paul Pelosi and the attack.
In fact, Donald Trump, Jr. tweeted out some really
crude memes, making fun of Paul Pelosi and the incident
that happened.
And then you have Kari Lake, who
is the Republican candidate for Arizona
Governor, who had this to say at a campaign event
earlier today.
It is not impossible to protect our kids at school.
They act like it is.
Nancy Pelosi-- well, she's got protection when she's in DC.
Apparently, her house doesn't have a lot of protection.
[laughter]
But--
[booing]
I'm not--
I'm not going to lie.
MAGA comedy is weird.
I don't get the-- you hear the joke about the old man
who was almost killed?
Huh, that's it.
That's the joke.
That's the joke. What?
Like, who are these-- you know what's-- this
is what's crazy to me.
What's crazy to me is these are the very same people--
the very same people who are devastated
and appalled because somebody was rude
to Ted Cruz at a restaurant.
Huh?
These are the same people.
They will be like, this was at a restaurant.
They were rude to Ted Cruz at a restaurant!
[cheering]
Where people go to eat, and Ted Cruz goes to lick the napkins.
They were rude to him.
This is America.
And, look, I get it.
It's like-- it's not all Republicans.
I'm not saying it's all.
Some Republicans think it's a joke.
Many other Republicans are not laughing, but not because
they're being civil about it.
No, they've chosen to turn this into a giant conspiracy
theory, right?
Yeah.
They've said, there's a whole bunch of crazy conspiracies
they've come up with for why this has happened, right?
And then some of them have chosen to just dismiss it.
They go like, oh, this is not a big deal.
This is just the random kind of crime that happens if you
live in a Democrat-run city.
That's what they're saying, which--
which is weird, right?
Because you're telling me this is random.
It's like a random, completely random, everyday crime, right?
You're telling me some right-wing conspiracy theorist
broke into Nancy Pelosi's house screaming, where's Nancy,
and you think that was a random crime?
Yeah, because we've all experienced this, right?
Yeah?
You're just walking down the street.
Some random guy jumps out with a weapon.
He's like, where's your wife, Nancy Pelosi?
And you're like, what?
I'm not even married.
And he's like, oh, well, if you do get married one day,
you look me up, and you tell me where you live.
You're like, how will I even find you?
He's like, oh, look me up on Twitter.
I'll be verified.
[laughter]