- What?
End of shift.
Mikhail did a terrible job today.
Hopefully no patients suffered due to his negligence.
I haven't seen a patient in person for about a month
because we moved all our encounters to virtual visits,
but I'm itching to see a patient.
I feel like the only way I could make that happen
is to live vicariously through a Sim.
Okay, how do we change things.
I've gotta make the face legit.
Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.
(Mikhail blows raspberries)
Wait, it keeps putting female characters.
Genetics, no, I don't wanna create her child.
Dark brown, oh my, you can change the mouth.
This is weird.
Can I undo?
Yeah, I'm more pale.
I'm gonna have to give in to the paleness,
and really lean into the pale self that I am.
Oh, tucked in button-up?
Dude, this guy looks like me right now.
Dude, this is how I dress for work.
This is legit me.
Yeah, this is me.
This is legit me.
This is what I wore to work,
but, let me get me buff.
Bah, yeah, that's, he's a little thick.
- Oh, nice arms.
(Mikhail laughs)
- Did he just say nice arms?
Okay, if I was creating a place to live,
I would wanna live in the most secluded place as possible.
Should we go for an expensive one, or should we do
a fixer upper?
Let's do, let's ball out.
Let's go twin oracle point.
Wait, how do you build a building?
How do I just build a home?
Oh, you build it room by room.
Let's get a bedroom.
Simple sleeper, or do I want something fancy?
James for the future looks like my current.
Yeah, I dig it.
Let's build it right in the middle,
so if you wanna come here, you have to go
all the way through everything.
What else do you need to make a home a home?
You probably need a kitchen, right?
Should the kitchen be near the bedroom?
I feel like it needs a little room to breathe.
Bathroom, you need a bathroom.
Bathrooms, I like to keep it simple.
You don't need to spend a lot of money for a bathroom.
It's bare necessities at this point, I agree,
but the bathroom has to be attached to the bedroom,
or at least close to the bedroom so you have access.
Living room, I like it.
You want something that brings people together,
but I have no more money.
Let's keep it simple for now.
This is where I entertain, so you want this
close to the front of the house.
Okay, I have no more money, so I guess
I have to go to work.
Oh, I'm a medical assistant making $35 an hour.
Vacation days, three.
I have work in 24 hours because it is Sunday.
I work Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
Why am I not working today?
Ideal mood is focused.
My performance is average.
We've gotta step that up, and to get promoted,
I have to treat three patients. I think I can do it.
For now, how do you become a better person?
Let's get in good shape.
Let's get Dr. Mike here jogging.
We are in quarantine.
Just make sure you jog somewhere around your house,
where you're socially distancing yourself.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy, buddy, buddy.
We gotta change your outfit,
we gotta change your outfit.
Wait, was I supposed to create different outfits
for this fella?
What are his needs?
What are your needs, Mikhail?
Go home.
What's on his phone?
Oh my God, you can check your social media timeline.
Oh my God.
This game's a savage.
It's only 12 p.m.
Don't you dare go napping.
His house is not fancy.
Where are people in this game?
Can he go to the park?
Oh, he can play as a sea monster.
Is it weird that a doctor's going to play
in a children's playground?
(Mikhail laughs)
Definitely not right.
Look at him.
I mean, it looks innocent, but at the same time,
if an outsider saw this.
(Mikhail plays with kids)
Okay, enough, go home.
I'm just excited for him to go to work.
Let's fast forward.
We need to see those patients.
It's about being a doctor.
Oh, who's this guy?
And funny introduction, who is this guy?
Mortimer Goth.
Look, we're chatting it up.
Why is my bladder full.
Oh, he's getting hungry.
Do I have anything in the fridge?
Oh, he's cooking.
He's acquired the cooking skill.
Definitely not something I have in real life.
If you saw my sous vide cooking video, I'm sorry.
Sleep, time for you to sleep.
It's 9 p.m., get that early to bed, early to rise money.
Ah, look, he woke up happy.
Wow, he sleeps in pink pants.
Let's see what he does in the hospital.
That's what I'm most, is he going jogging?
Oh no, he's eating.
He's making breakfast, yeah, I get it.
He has needs.
What about hygiene?
He needs to take a shower.
Oh, he took a bubble bath.
He woke up at 5 a.m. to take a bubble bath.
What is he, a psychopath?
Mikhail's hospital shift is starting now.
Care to join him, or should Mikhail go to work alone?
Oh no, I think we're joining.
(Mikhail punches wall)
My man doesn't have matching scrubs on.
What are you doing?
Friendly introduction, be friendly.
Don't be funny.
It's a hospital.
Be serious.
Swab a patient for a sample.
Let's go see these COVID patients.
How do you scan a patient's body?
This is weird.
Let's treat him.
Treat bloat-y head with shot.
Sims, bloat-y head with shot?
I've never committed medical malpractice until now.
(Mikhail laughs)
Bloat-y head.
You know what the real disease here is?
This non-matching scrubs outfit
with a maroon top and green bottoms.
Refer X-ray scan.
Let's go talk to this gentleman.
Yeah, bring him to an X-ray.
Oh my God, this X-ray machine looks like
it's a TSA scanner at the airport.
(Mikhail laughs)
That is not an X ray.
That looks like some alien technology.
If we have that in the future, that's cool.
Mikhail has successfully performed a practice examination.
The test results seem valid, but specific data's
a bit over his head, and will be passed along
to a physician for diagnosis.
It's a good learning experience, though.
Bro, I am, the game doesn't know what I know,
but I know that bloat-y head
ain't a real thing, just saying.
Wait, wait, let's get these patients in.
Dude, you're the medical assistant.
Stop talking to them, and check the patients in.
Oh my God, look at this line forming.
Mike, Mike, Mike, check the patients in buddy.
Oh, he's hungry.
He's getting a little snack for himself
in the microwave.
Is it lunchtime, even, or is he just eating
like a savage?
No, it's 1 o'clock.
We need to find out what's wrong with this lady.
Once you check her in,
we're gonna make a hospital out of this place.
We'll make a hospital of it yet.
Okay, let's see, romance, no.
We do not romance our patients, as Mama Dr. Jones
and I have said.
Oh, there we go, swabbed for sample.
(Mikhail applauds)
What are you swabbing for?
You think it's COVID?
What?
End of shift.
Mikhail did a terrible job today.
Hopefully no patients suffered due to his negligence.
I didn't know what I was supposed to do.
This is messed up.
This is why I don't like jobs where the directions
are unclear, and I'm supposed to just know
where I'm supposed to be.
Maybe tell me what my duties are.
Lay out my responsibilities so then, I can execute.
I shouldn't have done a terrible job.
I'm literally gonna fast forward to the next day
just so I can come back to work.
I'm pissed.
(Mikhail sips water)
I don't even care what happens the rest of the day.
Fast forward, let him do whatever he wants.
He's uncomfortable.
I know why he's uncomfortable.
Because he did a poop job at work today.
I literally don't care.
Monday could just pass right now.
If I could just skip to next day,
oh look, a viable tissue sample was successfully collected.
Now, Mikhail must test it in the chemical analyzer,
but I didn't do it because I didn't know.
Whoa, Reese Thibodeaux would like to come over and hang out.
That's the patient.
Crossing lines here.
Reese, chill.
I'm not even gonna pick up on her.
Now, yeah, sleep Mike because you're gonna need
to show up to work tomorrow and actually perform
because whatever that was today was nonsense.
He earned $42.
Bro, if you make $42 a day, how are you gonna pay off
your medical loans?
The average medical student graduates
with $275,000 in loans, $42 a day.
Do better, Mike.
Assigned to right side of the bed.
What, am I not allowed on the left side of the bed
because Bear has it?
By the way, there's gonna be multiple Sims.
I'm gonna create Bear.
I'm gonna create my dad.
He's gonna live next to me.
I'm gonna build out a whole community.
You're not ready for this.
I'm gonna take over this town.
We're gonna called it Barshovsky's World.
Work starts in one hour, yeah.
That's why I'm trying to fast forward to.
All I care about is the job.
All right, Mike, let's do it today.
Let's do a better job than we did yesterday.
Let's check in some patients.
Where's the bathroom, he needs to use the bathroom,
although, if you're a really good employee,
you should probably use the bathroom before you get to work.
Okay, his bladder is now empty.
Let's see some patients.
We're analyzing a sample.
Log the sample results.
Okay, where do we log them.
Donate to, log sample results.
Look at that, look at that,
figuring it out, making stuff happen.
Why am I cleaning the bathroom?
Okay, let's swab, wait, I already did swab a patient
for a sample.
Scan a patient's body.
Come on, Mike, come on, Mike.
You're going the wrong way, buddy.
Wait, I don't understand.
Why is he cleaning up the exercise room?
Check eyes, there we go.
Oh look, he did it.
Okay, check a patient's ears.
Oh my God, Reese, the person who called the doctor
that wanted to hang out was a child.
That's weird.
Mike, don't, don't invite children to your home.
You don't need to eat today, Mike.
End of shift.
Mikhail did an adequate job today.
Preventative care is the best course,
so he needs to step it up.
Look, I made $224 today, and adequate is better
than poop, what I got last time.
We got to adequate job.
I wanna crush day three.
I also wanna build up my house.
I don't know what that sad excuse for a home is.
Doesn't even have a roof.
I wanna get Bear.
I wanna get Roxy.
I wanna get my dad.
If you're with me on that journey, smash the like button,
let me know in the comments section.
If you wanna have a good laugh,
check out this responding to Onion headlines
video that I made right here, or one of my favorite
playlists of me reacting to medical memes.
If you don't laugh at these, you don't have
a senses of humor.
Get it?
Census, fill out your census today.
(upbeat music)