Would you like to build rapport with anyone in sales?
Well, the science shows us that it is possible,
yet what's really happening in most selling situations
to most salespeople is that they're doing things
in sales that are actually unconsciously repelling prospects
from the very beginning of the conversation.
And, sadly, because prospects are typically nice people,
and they're not really looking to give us feedback
on what we did well and what we didn't do well,
they're just often trying to get away from us.
So we never really learn why that prospect
or that opportunity didn't go
the way we expected, it just happens.
So, ultimately, we never fix the problem.
And there are really only a few key steps
to ensuring that you can build rapport
with just about anyone, and it doesn't require
being hilarious or super charismatic.
In fact, it's just a few steps.
In this video I'm going to show you the six steps
to building rapport with anyone, check it out.
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Number one, match vocally.
Now, this is something that a lot
of people don't really pay attention
to how they're matching their prospect vocally.
This is true whether we're face-to-face
or whether we're on the phone.
So often prospects have a vocal style.
Maybe they're really loud, and they speak quickly.
Or they're soft, and they're gentle,
and they almost speak in a whisper.
We want to pay attention to that pace,
that tone, and that volume that's coming from the prospect.
Because if they're really gentle,
and quiet, and soft, and we come in and we're fast,
and we're loud, and we're harsh in our tone,
immediately the prospect is going
to unconsciously feel a disconnect.
Where they don't know exactly why,
but they're not connecting with you in a way,
and immediately that wall goes up.
And we see this all the time.
Scientific studies have repeated this over and over again.
When we can match someone vocally
we can start to get on the same page.
I'll give you an example from outside of sales.
Just the other day I was with a doctor who we're only
a couple feet apart, and he was really loud.
You know those really loud talkers,
well, that's exactly what happened.
And immediately I'm thinking, man,
I'm not feeling really comfortable in this situation.
So we didn't ultimately have a connection.
And it didn't matter in that particular situation,
but this is what's happening to salespeople all the time.
Start to pay attention to how you're
matching your prospects vocally.
Number two, match vibe.
This is the other side of the scale, right,
so it's pretty much everything outside of the vocals.
In fact, it really in some ways incorporates vocals as well.
But each person, each individual
human being gives off a particular vibe.
Are they a quick mover, do they have a quick pace?
Do they come in with a strong handshake and a strong grip?
Or, again, are they a more gentle person,
and when they introduce themselves
they're slower paced and they're softer?
We want to pay very close attention to how the prospect
is behaving, and we want to start to match it.
Now, I know already I'm going to get comments
from people who are saying, well, you're telling me
to be different with each and every person?
Well, yes, but you don't have to give up who you are.
You can still have your core self,
but we want to start to match that vibe.
It's amazing how immediately disarming it
is when we start to match vibes.
You notice that if you've ever seen a psychologist
on TV they're immediately starting
to match the patient in front of them.
And that's exactly what we want
to do from a sales perspective.
So if the prospect ever answers the phone with a,
hello, we want to immediately start to match that tone,
that strong, clearly assertive tone with a strong vibe.
Because if we come in, and we're all soft and gentle,
immediately they're gonna be like,
hey, come on, move it along here.
On the other hand if they answer
the phone with, hello, we want to match that.
You can pick it up so quickly, that vibe.
So be sure that you're starting to pay total attention
to what that prospect is doing when you're in front of them.
Number three, break the pattern.
Now, I talk about breaking the pattern all the time.
And if you've been following my videos for a long time
this isn't the first time you've heard it.
But you can not hear this idea enough.
That what is happening with most selling situations
is the prospect who has probably met
with 20 other salespeople in the course of that week,
whether by phone or face-to-face.
And they are suddenly in front of you.
And if you are behaving in a way
that is similar to all of those other salespeople
out there, immediately the wall goes up,
and that rapport is immediately dead.
So what we need to do is we need
to immediately break that pattern.
We've got to break from whatever
the prospect expects us to do.
Because like all of the other salespeople out there,
they expect us to behave in a certain way.
And our job is instead to do the exact opposite.
So if every salesperson were marching
east we want to march west.
We want to constantly break that pattern,
and particularly so at the beginning of interactions.
So, let's take a typical example
of how a salesperson is starting a phone call.
Most salespeople are starting a sales call
with some version of, hey George,
Marc Wayshak calling, how are you today?
What is the prospect immediately going
to feel as a result of that experience?
Realistically, they're going to immediately
have their wall go up because we have behaved
in a way that is super duper salesy.
So what we need to do is break that pattern.
This is how we built a strong rapport with our prospect.
Building rapport isn't about magic.
It's just about not being perceived as salesy,
and making them feel like, yeah,
you know what I'm comfortable with this person.
So next time you're in front of a prospect,
instead of coming in with the traditional old school,
hey George, Marc Wayshak calling, how are you today?
Instead, maybe switch it up.
Break that pattern by slowing down the tone,
and sounding a little bit more human,
and maybe using a line that sounds a little bit different.
Something along the lines of, hey George,
Marc Wayshak calling, how have you been?
Now, I don't need to get into the science
of exactly what I just said there.
I've done a lot of videos on starting calls,
and the data behind those exact lines that I just used.
But what we want to be doing is using approaches
that the data shows us works and is also going
to be very different from what the prospect expects.
We do that, and we're much more likely
to truly build a strong rapport with that prospect.
Number four, focus on them.
You know, I used to have a mentor who would always tell me
that prospects listen to one radio station.
You know what that radio station is, WIIFM. (laughs)
And some of you may know what that means,
which is what's in it for me, what's in it for me?
Prospects don't care about you.
They don't care about the fact
that you need to close a sale.
They don't care about your life.
They don't even care about your product.
They certainly don't care about your company.
And I hate to say it again, but they don't care about you.
All they care about is themselves.
So when so many salespeople are starting calls
by talking all about themselves, or all about their product,
or all about their company the prospect
is immediately starting to tune out.
And you've been there, if you've ever been a buyer,
and the salesperson just starts talking about themself,
or maybe even in a non-sales situation
where you're talking to someone at a barbecue,
and all they want to do is talk about themselves.
And all you want to do is get
the hell out of that conversation.
We need to change the focus of our conversations
from ever talking about ourselves to talking about them.
Even when we do talk about ourselves we need to do it
within a frame that is really still focused on them,
and the challenges that they want to overcome,
and the goals that they want to accomplish.
So even at the beginning of a conversation
when we're talking about the purpose
of our call we still want to give them some insight
that's actually ultimately helpful in their own business,
that's ultimately focusing on them by maybe focusing
on some of the challenges that you commonly solve.
So starting a call with, George,
the reason for my call is that I work
with a lot of companies that often come
to me when they're struggling with, dealing with,
frustrated about, whatever it is, right?
We're going to talk about the challenges.
And then, of course, we want to engage them
in that conversation by saying something along the lines of,
does any of this ring true to you,
or does this make sense with you?
Suck them into that conversation,
so that way they start talking about what they care about,
which is who, not you, them, right?
All they care about is themselves.
Focus on them, and then target the rest
of the conversation around them.
You know, again, I always talk about this idea
of we want to have that doctor's mindset.
A great doctor is going to spend the entire conversation
really focused on the patient.
In your case you really want to be focused on them.
And even when you're doing your presentation
it's ultimately about how your solution is going
to solve the challenges that they have already discussed.
So it's 100% focused on what
they care about, which is again, whom, them.
Number five, repeat and rephrase.
Now, this is something that I've been using
in my selling system for a long time.
But, actually, the way I look at it now I give credit
to an author named Chris Voss, who was a hostage negotiator.
And he recently wrote a book called Split the Difference.
And he talks about how in hostage situations
what we often want to do in order to create that rapport,
create that connection, is to repeat
what they say and rephrase what they say.
Now, he doesn't use that exact language,
but that's my takeaway from it.
And I've seen that now there's a lot of research
that shows that when we repeat what the prospect told us
or we rephrase what they told us, immediately they start
to think, hey, this person is getting me.
This person is listening to me.
And, also, often it allows us to actually dig more deeply.
Let's say a prospect says something along the lines of,
yeah, you know, that's a huge problem.
The response would be, huge problem?
And then let them open up and say, yeah,
so what happened is this, and that, and this, right?
So it's allowing you by simply repeating a key phrase
of what they said, now it's going to take them deeper.
Then, once you've started to understand what they're saying
you can rephrase what they say with something like this.
So, George, if I'm hearing you correctly what you're saying
is A, B, and C are those key challenges, is that correct?
And let them say, yes, that's exactly right, or no,
actually, you know, A and B was right, but C not so much.
Let me tell you about what that key challenge is.
And what we're doing is we're showing
that we're really paying attention.
We're taking it so much more deeply into that conversation.
So by repeating and rephrasing we're going to build
a much stronger rapport with that prospect.
Because in their mind they're thinking this is
someone who is understanding what I'm saying.
You know, let's not take for granted how valuable
a commodity being understood actually is.
When people feel like they're understood
they can suddenly feel good about that person.
It's really, really powerful stuff.
So start to repeat and rephrase what your prospects
are saying to build a much deeper rapport.
Number six, feedback loops.
This is just another really powerful scientifically
proven way to go so much deeper with your prospects.
And this often comes when you're actually doing more
of the presenting or you're doing more of the talking.
When you're in a situation where you have to go on
for let's say 45 seconds of talking,
but you want to rope them back into the conversation.
So, let's say you're in the
presentation phase of your conversation.
So you're talking about a key feature,
and you're saying, George, what this is going to do
is it's gonna ensure that you're solving
that problem A that you just mentioned.
Does that make sense?
And what they're naturally going to do is say, yeah,
that does make sense, or no, that doesn't make sense.
That's a feedback loop, it's that little question,
like does that make sense, or does that work for you,
or do you see what I'm saying, or is that okay?
Whatever it is, it's these little questions.
It could even be like, cool, right?
Any little question that is sucking someone back
into the conversation is going to get them to feel engaged.
So you never want to be in a situation
where you're talking, and talking, and talking without
at least interjecting some feedback loops throughout.
And what you're going to find is that it ensures
that the prospect is with you the whole way through,
because they'll tell you if it's not.
On the other hand, if it is, then now
you're getting these little closes.
So, there are the six scientifically proven steps
to building rapport with anyone in sales.
I want to hear from you, which of
these ideas did you find most useful?
Be sure to share down below in the comment section
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