- Oh, I feel like Nefertiti already.
Okay she's ready.
Hey everybody, it's me Miss. Cracker
and I'm gonna take you from my first five
to my last five.
[lively upbeat music]
First I generally wake up at eight in the morning,
which means like eight plus four half hour snoozes.
[dings]
Which I deserve by the way because I work hard.
Do at 10 when I finally roll out of bed,
the first thing I do [kettle whistles]
is self-care with caffeine.
A caffeine drink of choice is a nice piping hot coffee
from a French press.
I grind up the beans, I put it in the French press
and it's just the freshest a cup of coffee can possibly be
without a whole espresso machine.
I couldn't get the grinder plug
out of the wall when I was a kid.
So I was like, I don't wanna touch the cord
and I grabbed a fork to pry it out
and I fried myself.
So whenever I'm grinding my beans every morning,
that terror of being electrocuted
is also kind of a pick me up.
You know what I mean?
[chuckles]
The next thing I do is read The Times.
It helps me know what is going on in the world
because when I do shows of any kind,
I wanna make sure
that I'm talking about things that are important
and if you don't know what's going on in the world,
you don't know what's important to talk about right now.
A lot of people say that the news will drive you down,
but it is a real blessing
to know all the stories that are going on
in the world around you.
It's discouraging to read The Times once,
but it's empowering to read it everyday.
The third thing that I do when I wake up
is get my body ready to do drag.
And that means I use a Hydro Boost soap from Neutrogena
in the shower to get my skin all supple and prepared.
I use like a nice hydrating shampoo.
Oh, there is no special shampoo that I use.
It's just the cheapest.
I have the hair care routine
of like a college frat boy
and I accept that.
I use a Dove body soap
to make sure that my skin is prepared to be duct taped
because that is going to happen
and I put on some moisturizer.
If I'm lucky, something from Sunday Riley.
If I'm not lucky, just something from a gift bag.
[laughs]
Something from the hotel.
Then I put on my primer
and this is the armor that you need to put on your body
before you start tormenting it,
which is basically what the whole process of drag is.
I have been told that a cold shower is very empowering
and that it give your fire breath
and prepares you to greet the day.
I wouldn't know because I would never, okay?
Hot weather, cold weather, anything in between,
I am going to take a hot shower no matter what.
And the reason why is because I need to soften my beard,
sorry to break the illusion,
so that I can razor my,
like my nice Eastern European beard away.
That's what I need to do
and there's no better way to do that
than by heating up your skin.
And moisturize so that your skin
has the like everything that I needs
to defend itself against the blades.
The fourth thing that I do
is get up in makeup, okay?
That means putting on that last layer of primer
and starting to get my
whole face blanked down to nothing with foundation
so that we can build a brand new face right on top of it.
That's why it's called a foundation my dear,
because you're gonna build on top of it.
When it comes to foundation,
the only thing that I care about is opaque.
[giggles]
As long as my foundation is opaque,
it can have carcinogen in it, I don't care.
I am just going to spread that grease paint
all over my face.
I think I use the same stuff
that they use for painting the lines on the highway,
you know what I mean?
Just strong, that's the only thing that I care about.
For everything else when it comes to the powders
and all of that,
I'm going to use something that is,
that I very pigmented and blends beautifully
and shows money.
But that's all the stuff that show, okay?
The base is cheap and strong.
It was Alyssa Edwards who told me
to start using setting spray,
and it really changed my life.
I was like, "I don't need setting spray.
"She's mad, she doesn't need it."
Alyssa was like, but you do.
And it has made such a difference in my life.
I actually do use Anastasia.
Anastasia, Anastasia Beverly Hills.
And it's the Dewy set and it's really gorgeous.
I'm also looking over,
I do use Skindinavia,
which has a great setting spray.
Doing my beauty routine has been a lifesaver for me.
There's two possible things that I would save
for my last beauty tip.
And first of all, I listen to "Vacation" by G.R.L.
because it is obnoxious
and my job is to be obnoxious.
So that's what gets me hyped for the day.
The most important beauty tip that you can possible hear
is leave the house
and I think no matter how you get yourself up,
it doesn't matter if you don't go show
that beauty to the world and share it with other people.
This is why we drag queens
make ourselves beautiful
is not just for the internet,
but so that someone walk into the grocery store
encounters something that they may have never seen before
and they get a sense that there's beauty in the world
and that's what I wanna create.
So that's the most important tip of beauty,
showing it off.
Yeah, we got the pink mask to go with everything else.
See what I mean, she's ready.
She has her accessories all set.
Yeah, I will wear a mask and go out there
and say hello to people in the world
and I definitely give more drama in my eyes
now that I'm gonna go out with a mask a lot of the time
and I've been doing a lot of smokey eyes
to show you that she can be sensual,
you know what I mean?
It means wearing the big hair
and brighter colors and stuff like that
because your voice is gonna be muffled sometimes
and this part of your face is gonna be hidden
and you gotta make up for it with a little something else.
I've told you the first five things that I do during the day
and those are just to prepare
for tryna make the world
a more beautiful and more just place
and during the day,
if it's a really great day,
I'll get to film a little bit of my advice column
that's coming out soon
and then attend a protest or a vigil or a rally
to make my voice heard
and demand the changes that the world needs right now.
Things are scary, but they're even scarier
when you don't know what's going on.
There's nothing more scary than being in the dark.
I don't think ignorance is bliss,
I think it's a really terrifying state to be in.
Especially right now it's important for everyone
to show up.
It is such an important moment
to be going out to vigils and protests and rally's
and showing as much of your face as you can.
Being loud and standing up for what's right.
So sometimes that means
going out and doing that in drag
'cause I just wanna make my voice as loud
and make myself as visible as possible
while I'm saying let's make a change for things.
I will tell you one thing about all of this work,
it is very sweaty.
[laughs]
And so by the end of the day,
I am completely beaten up
and greasy and worn out.
And this rag doll is really ready
to get out of drag.
Like no matter how good your makeup is,
at some point, she's gonna start caking up
and shifting around on your face.
You're gonna see those cracks appear
like in the desert and you know,
that's when you know it's time to
move to that later part of the day.
It's time for Dracula to go back in the coffin.
The very first thing that I do when I get home
is strip completely out of my drag,
and that means about 10 pounds of titties and padding
and 20 pounds of boots
and garments and at least another five pounds
up in this wig.
So that's the very first thing I do.
Fourth, as soon as I take my stuff off,
I hang it up
because I know if I don't do it then,
it's never gonna happen,
you know what I mean?
I'm like that will sit on the floor forever.
So it's, I don't even let it hit the floor,
it goes right on the hanger.
I told you, it's a sweaty business.
So that's the only way it's gonna dry properly too.
Third, I remove everything that is not me.
I do micellar water
on a makeup removing pad
and I remove everything that way.
Then I use another pad to get the last of everything off,
and then I wash with the Neutrogena Hydro Boost.
That's just to prepare for the shower
because I don't want all of that stuff,
all that gunk going down my drain.
There's terrible history with that
and we don't need to repeat any of those accidents.
It feels very cathartic to take off your makeup
because you've been,
you've been looking at one face all day long
and you start to believe that you are that person
and you are that soldier, you are that queen.
And then when you take that makeup off,
you're like, oh I also need to remember
I'm a human being that needs rest
and that needs to be taken care of
in order to do all that queenly stuff.
I usually take two showers in a day
because of drag
and I wanna get all the drag off of me
and I don't want it all over my linens.
I get wet, I turn the water off,
I soap up and then rinse off.
Turn the water on and rinse off again.
I don't take any more than 10 minutes.
I'm very aware that I'm draining the water
from the whales fish bowl, you know what I mean?
So I'm like very conservative about it.
Then I'm ready, after I've taken my shower,
to do the next step.
Second, moisturize and medicate
so that I am ready to go to bed.
I have really,
I want everyone to know this,
I have a really terrible battle with acne.
I have for my entire life.
So I start by putting on some Sunday Riley Good Genes
to turn back time, Cher.
Once that's settled in,
I put on my skin medications
and for anyone who's out there
that was told that skin problems stop at 18
and feels lied to,
I'm here to tell you you're not alone, okay?
Everyone struggles with it.
Okay, time to check in with a friend on the phone.
Oh that's right, I don't have friends.
Before I close out my day,
I often check in with my dear wife Juju.
Jujubee is like a,
just like such an optimistic person
and she believes that everything's
going to turn out all right
and I love that she's willing to be wrong like that.
[laughs]
I love her optimism
and so I always check in with her
just to hear the words, it's gonna be okay
and things are gonna change and we're gonna get through this
and the world's gonna be a better place.
I try to end the day by reading a book
and it can calm you and remind you
that there are things that are going on
that are much bigger than you.
So yeah, I read a book until I pass out,
which because I'm 36 is about five minutes flat
and that's the end of my day. [laughs]
When you are on national TV in quarantine,
you can go what they call shack wacky.
Where I'm from, you get cabin fever, you go crazy
and being able to make something beautiful
appear out of nowhere
through garments, through humor, through makeup,
that has been a lifesaver.
I literally don't know where I would be without drag.
My final message,
if I had to tell everyone something right now
it's that you never know what's going to happen next.
We have certainly learned that in these times
and that if you have anyway
of just living fully today,
it would be by reminding yourself
that you are not promised tomorrow.
So if you have a disagreement with someone, fix it.
If you have a problem with yourself, accept it.
And if you think you can't change something,
try it because you don't know what tomorrow may bring
and you wanna be able to say you tried your best
and really lived.
Bye, thank you.