(eerie music)
(eerie laughing)
(squashing sound) (air whooshing)
(grunting) (air whooshing)
(grunting)
(eerie laughing) (thunder crashes)
- And it was at that very moment, that Orange realized
he'd been eating a dirty gym sock the entire time!
- Ew!
- Did I overhear someone telling a Creepypasta?
(all screaming)
(glass crashing)
- No, Pear was just telling an actual
story about me. (laughs)
- So you actually ate a dirty gym sock?
Like, the entire thing?
- Are you surprised?
That's not even that crazy for Orange.
- Yeah, earlier today he farted the ABCs, so.
- Enough!
Listen, I thought I heard a Creepypasta in progress,
and I went to all the effort of doing my creepy entrance
routine, I'm on a roll.
We're just gonna go with it, okay?
Now, who among you is brave enough to hear my newest
creepypasta, "The Funky Paw"?
- Is this anything like the famous short story,
"The Monkey's Paw"?
- No, that story isn't funky whatsoever.
- Gotcha.
- Now then, "The Funky Paw" is a story about
a young grapefruit.
- Here we go.
- Yes, it is indeed coincidental that you are a grapefruit
and the story involves a grapefruit.
Do not interrupt me again.
Ahem!
Now then, on to my creepypasta,
which is, as always, to die for.(laughs)
(thunder crashes) - Once upon a time,
there was a young grapefruit who cared very, very
much about the way he smelled.
- What is happening right now?
- I realize it's coincidental!
Now stop interrupting!
Ahem!
- For someone without a nose, the grapefruit's sense
of smell was quite refined.
One day, while shopping for rare scents in a shop
he had never visited before, he was offered
a horrible-smelling funky paw for purchase.
The purveyor of the shop told him the paw would grant
him three wishes, but there was a catch, all of his wishes
would be granted in a rather funky fashion.
The grapefruit purchased the paw, exited the shop,
and when he looked back, the shop had vanished
into a cloud of greenish gas.
(air whooshing) (tense music)
- Nevertheless, the grapefruit rushed straight home
with the paw and wished for a pile of money.
It instantly appeared!
The young grapefruit was overjoyed to find the paw worked.
However, the pile of cash smelled rather funky.
So funky, in fact, that no one would accept it as payment.
No matter how much the grapefruit offered to pay,
no one wanted his stinky money.
And so, the grapefruit was left with a smelly pile of cash
that was utterly worthless. (chuckles)
The grapefruit decided to make his second wish,
that the woman of his dreams would fall madly
in love with him.
Again, the wish came true immediately!
She loved him dearly, and could not be convinced otherwise,
no matter what.
You see, the grapefruit absolutely reeked.
The stench of his money had permeated everything
in the surrounding area, including the grapefruit himself.
No matter how many times he bathed or tried to hide
it with his ridiculous collection of body sprays,
the grapefruit stank to high heaven.
But his love was not deterred, and remained entranced
by him, even though she vomited whenever he came near.
(liquid squashing) (lady screaming)
Eventually, the grapefruit was at the end of his rope.
He was penniless, he smelled awful, and the love of his life
was vomiting far too frequently for his liking.
"I wish for the smell to go away," he thought
to himself, before he realized he still
had one wish remaining!
Why?
He could simply wish the smell away!
And so the grapefruit took up the paw and began uttering
his wish aloud, saying, "I wish for the smell."
But then, in the middle of his sentence, he caught a whiff
of himself and vomited uncontrollably.
And unfortunately for him, the paw heard his request,
he had wished for the smell, and that's precisely
what he got.
From that day forward, the funky stench spread
across the land, causing everyone who smelled
it to barf loudly and comedically.
The smell was so horrid that some people even barfed
themselves to death, and the stench of their decaying bodies
somehow made the stench even worse.
Everyone knew it was the grapefruit who had brought
the funky curse upon them, but they did not seek
retribution, to kill the Grapefruit would be too kind.
The true punishment was to allow him to live
alongside his vomit-happy true love,
and his funky-smelling cash every day for the rest
of his natural life.
The end. (laughs)
- Now, that's a creepypasta that passed
the sniff test. (laughs)
- Um, guys?
Where's Grapefruit?
- Oh, I believe he went to change the radiator hose
on his riding lawn mower, obvious.
- Checks out, I believe it.
- Man, that was a really good creepypasta.
The way you described the smell,
I can practically smell it.
- Actually, that wasn't the story, it was me.
(fart squelching) (laughing)
- Orange!
- What?
I can't help it, I ate a gym sock! (laughs)
(fart squelching)
(all snoring)
- Did someone say Creepypasta?
(all screaming)
- What?
Dude, no one said anything, we were all asleep!
- Oh, well, could someone mention Creepypasta?
Like, as a little favor to me?
Lemme just go get hidden again, thank you.
Okay, everybody go for it.
- Creepypasta!
- Did someone say Creepypasta?
- Yeah, you asked us to.
- Well, I just so happen to have a brand new creepypasta
to share with you, it's called "Swimming Pool Shark."
And don't worry, I promise it doesn't bite!
(laughs) (thunder crashes)
- Excited to hear it, sounds jaws-ome. (laughs)
- Thanks for that, Orange, really wrecked the mood.
(clears throat)
Once upon a time, there was a young orange
who loved to swim.
- Like me?
- No, less annoying than you.
- Like me?
- Sure, why not?
Anyway, this young orange was excited to learn
that a new swimming pool had just opened near her home,
although the name of the swimming pool,
Sharksmouth Public Pool, concerned her.
She knew it was a foolish notion, but she just couldn't help
but wonder if there was a shark living beneath the surface
of the pool.
Her parents, her friends, the lifeguard,
everyone assured her that there was no shark in the pool.
Finally, she came to her senses, she was being silly.
So she got into the pool, which proved
to be somewhat difficult because the edge of the pool
was so sharp and jagged.
But soon she was having a grand time playing in the water
with her friends, until suddenly she spotted a fin
popping up out of the water across the pool!
But when she looked again, she saw it was just a backlit
Dorito relaxing on a pool floatie.
Relieved, that's when she noticed blood in the water!
She screamed!
But it turned out not to be blood at all, her friend
Ketchup Bottle had just peed in the pool again,
so it wasn't quite as bad as the orange had feared.
Still, everyone was asked to get out so the lifeguard
could clean the pool.
One by one, everyone began climbing up out of the pool.
And as the orange watched her friend Muffin emerge
from the water, she finally saw it, evidence
that there was a murderous pool shark on the loose,
her friend Muffin had no legs!
(Creepypasta laughs) (Orange screams)
The pool shark must have bitten them off!
The orange's friends promptly reminded her that Muffin
never had any legs, none of them did, in fact.
The orange realized she was being ridiculous and swam
toward the sharp, jagged edge of the pool in order
to climb out.
But then, suddenly, the edge of the pool moved!
Then it moved again!
A giant whirlpool formed at the center of the pool!
The unfortunate swimmers who were still in the water
began getting sucked down, down into the abyss below!
As the orange was carried around and around by the current,
she looked up and saw what looked like gigantic
teeth above her!
Moments before she was sucked underneath, she realized
why the pool was named the way it was,
there wasn't a shark Living in the pool,
a gigantic shark was the pool! (laughs)
They'd all been swimming inside a shark's open mouth
this entire time, and now the shark was closing
its jaws around them!
And with that, the pool became enveloped in darkness,
and one final sound echoed far and wide.
(air whooshing) (dramatic music)
Gulp!
- That was a good one!
It really had some teeth. (laughs)
(Midget Apple and Pear grunting)
- Hey, where's Sis?
- Oh, she had to go receive a fax machine message.
- A fax?
Nobody's sent one of those in, like, 20 years.
- Well, you know how long it can take a fax
to come through sometimes, I mean it's like.
(vocalizing) (grunting)
Then the paper gets jammed, you know know it is.
- That's true.
- Well, I gotta go, just remember, if you want to ever hear
another one of my creepypastas, all you must do in order
to summon me, is say the magic word, "Creepypasta."
- Clever. (laughs)
- It is clever!
Goodbye. (air whooshes)
- So lemme get this straight Creepypasta, every time
someone says the word creepypasta you have to appear
and tell a creepypasta?
- Yes, that is correct. (laughs)
- Good to know, Creepypasta.
I'll be sure to say Creepypasta the next time I wanna hear
a creepypasta. (laughs)
- Okay, but please stop saying it.
- Stop saying what, Creepypasta? (laughs)
- I'm already here.
- Creepypasta! - I want to go home!
- Don't say it.
- I'm gonna say it!
- Don't.
- But I wanna.
- Orange, you know the moment you say it, he's gonna
pop out of the shadows or something!
So don't say it!
- Don't say what?
- The word creepypasta, 'cause the moment we say it-
- Did someone say creepypasta? (laughs)
(all screaming)
Oh, it pleases me that you wish to hear another
of my world-famous creepypastas.
- We actually don't, we just said-
- My latest creation is entitled "Spider Cap." (laughs)
- Oh, cool!
Is Spider-Man in it?
- Is Captain America in it??
- I'm afraid we couldn't afford them, but there is a hat.
You like hats, don't you?
- I guess.
- Of course, you do.
Now then, we will then. (laughs)
Once upon a time, there was a young pear
who was obsessed with fashion.
When he heard about a new hat shop in town,
Speederman's Hat Shoppe, read the sign out front,
the pear could tell it was a fancy establishment
because of all the extra letters in the word shoppe.
Excited, he rushed inside and was greeted with shelves
and shelves of every type of hat he could possibly imagine,
and even some he couldn't.
Across the store, the purveyor of the shop, Mr. Speederman,
spied the young pear perusing the Rare Hats section.
Mr. Speederman asked the young pear if he was interested
in seeing the most expensive hat in the store.
Intrigued, the pear's eyes widened as Mr. Speederman
produced a beautiful black and red box,
with what appeared to be air holes punched in the top.
The pear was perplexed, but his hesitance quickly turned
to excitement as the shopkeeper explained that the hat
within was all the rage in Paris and Milan.
The young Pear could not wait to try on the hat within,
until the lid was opened and he saw what was inside,
a gigantic, living, breathing spider!
Now, the young Pear was beyond confused,
this spider was a hat?
Mr. Speederman explained that yes, the Spider Cap
was the most cutting-edge hatwear money could buy.
The pear looked around the store to find a number
of particularly fashionable patrons wearing
Spider Caps, as well.
Fearing he might miss out on a smashing new trend,
the young pear quickly handed over the considerable sum,
signed a contract of some sort, then proudly placed
his brand new Spider Cap upon his head,
at which point it plunged its fangs deep
into the pear's head!
The shopkeeper assured the pear that this was all perfectly
normal, this way, the Spider Cap wouldn't blow away
in the wind.
The pear looked around, and sure enough, the other Spider
Caps were secured to their owners' heads the same way.
Soon, Pear began to feel strange, he felt a slight itch
on his back, and so he scratched it, and at that moment,
he realized he was scratching his own back!
This, of course, was surprising
to him because he had no limbs.
He rushed to a mirror only to discover that he had sprouted
a long, hairy spider leg out of his body!
Then another!
And another!
As Pear gazed into the mirror, he saw that he no longer
had two eyes, he was growing additional eyes by the second!
He again asked the shopkeeper if this was typical.
The shopkeeper replied yes, everything happening
to the young pear was covered in the contract he had signed.
The young pear opened his mouth to reply, but his tongue
was gone, it had become mandibles!
Pear darted for the door, trying to escape,
but the shopkeeper was too fast!
Mr. Speederman quickly and expertly trapped
the young pear, or should I say, the young spider,
inside a familiar-looking red and black box
with airholes punched in the lid.
Outside the box, he could hear voices.
A new customer had just walked into the shop and was asking
to purchase a new Spider Cap.
(Orange and Midget Apple screaming)
- Well, that was a good one, Creepy Pasta.
- Yeah, you should definitely
post it to the World Wide Web! (laughs)
(Creepy Pasta grunts)
- That story really freaked me out.
Just the thought of turning into a spider and-
Wait, where's Pear?
- Who cares?
He was boring anyway.
- That's true.
(laughing evilly)
♪ Seventeen bottles of pop on the wall ♪
♪ Seventeen bottles of pop ♪
♪ Take one down pass it around ♪
Oh no!
I just lost count, where was I?
- I dunno, dude, I've been trying to zone
you out for 20 minutes.
- Oh well, I'll just start over.
♪ Nine hundred ninety-nine bottles of pop on the wall ♪
♪ Nine hundred ninety-nine bottles ♪
(Midget Apple grunts)
- Seriously, where are our friends?
They've been gone way too long!
- Maybe it's just a normal length of time
and it just seems long to someone your size. (laughs)
(Midget Apple grunts)
- Hey, Creepypasta!
(air whooshing) (eerie music)
- You rang? (laughs)
- Ever since you started telling us stories
around this campfire, our friends have been disappearing.
What's going on?
- Yeah, where's Grapefruit?
Where's my sister?
And where's my best friend?
- [Pear] I'm not your best friend!
- See?
Pear's talking from inside a fire or something.
That's not normal, and we want answers now!
- All right, all right, you caught me, my newest creepypasta
will explain everything.
- What?
Just tell us!
- It's entitled "Ronald McDonaldface."
- Ooh!
Let's hear him out, Little Apple.
This one sounds really good, and I'm not
clownin' around.(laughs)
Oh, it's good alright.
I believe the two of you will love it to death.
(laughs evilly) (thunder crashes)
- Now then, once upon a time, there were two friends,
a young orange and a young, outrageously-tiny apple.
- Not necessary, dude!
- One day the two friends learned that McDonald's
was planning to offer some healthier options on its menu,
orange juice with its breakfasts and apple slices
with its Happy Meals.
This, of course, worried them slightly, as they were both
now on the menu, so to speak, but they decided
to have fun with it.
The two friends started pranking each other by placing
pictures of Ronald McDonald's face in surprising locations
for the other to find.
Inside the refrigerator, under the toilet lid,
on the ceiling above the other's bed.
The prank, which they called "Ronald McDonaldface,"
was all in good fun, at first.
Because after the diminutive apple got Ronald McDonaldface'd
by a picture taped to the bottom of a table.
- Wait, wait, wait.
I think you mean top of a table.
- No, I mean bottom.
I'm telling you, this apple was very short.
(Orange laughs)
(Midget Apple grunts)
Offended that the table prank, had cashed
in on his shortness, the apple decided to escalate
the prank war.
Soon, the friends were hiding wall-sized pictures
of Ronald McDonald's face.
Any window they opened, any closet door, any light switch
they flipped was liable to terrify the living
heck out of them.
The two friends began to live in fear, terrified
that the next Ronald McDonaldface might be just around
any corner, behind any door.
They even began to dream about Ronald McDonaldface.
After weeks of sleepless nights, they called a truce,
but that didn't stop the Ronald McDonaldfaces.
Still they appeared, at home, at work, at school!
In the bathroom!
In the night!
The Ronald McDonaldfaces were bigger and scarier,
and more surprising than ever before!
And what's more, Ronald McDonald's expression
was growing more sinister with each and every appearance.
His eyes began glowing red.
And he began to wield knives with astonishing frequency.
The orange and the apple both swore
they were honoring the truce, which could only mean one
thing, the newer, scarier Ronald McDonaldfaces
were appearing all by themselves!
Just as they came to the horrifying realization,
a gigantic Ronald McDonaldface burst through the wall
and swung a knife down upon them!
Instantly, the two friends awoke in their beds,
having just had the exact same nightmare.
They were relieved to find no knife marks on their bodies.
It seemed they were safe from Ronald McDonaldface,
at least for now.
That is, until one day McDonald's announced a new menu item.
This was a hamburger, but it was no ordinary burger.
You see, this burger had some very curious ingredients
included in it, ingredients you'd never think
belonged in a burger.
That's right, on top of the patty, and lettuce,
and special sauce, this burger contained-
- Pasta.
- What?
No, the ingredients were-
- Pasta!
- What are you talking about?
Who would ever put pasta on a burger?
- I dunno, you said the secret ingredient was weird.
And what's weirder than pasta on a burger?
- Well, I suppose that's true, but-
- So pasta was on the burger.
And then Ronald McDonaldface
burst in and ate the burger. - No! (screams)
- The end! (laughs)
- Oh, hey friends, where have you been?
- You wouldn't believe us if we told
you, but it was Chattanooga, Tennessee.
- Where's Creepy Pasta?
I'd like to have a few words with that guy.
- [Creepy Pasta] Don't worry, I'm with you always.
(laughs evilly)
(Creepy Pasta coughing)
- Okay, so that may have been a mistake,
not only because it's too dark, but also because Orange
is inevitably gonna say the line.
- Hey, who turned out the lights? (laughs)
(all exclaiming)
- Oh no!
- Okay, found my flashlight.
It's all gonna be okay, just gotta switch it on, and-
(all screaming)
(upbeat music)