I remember growing up in poverty. There’s basically no opportunity around. I was in
a recovering post-soviet country that couldn't recover. And I figured out a solution as a
little kid. I said, ”You know what? I can’t do all the things that I want to do right
now, but when things get better, that’s when I’ll start doing everything. So I’m
just going to wait for that time.” And that’s literally how I spent the first 17 years of
my life. Until I got accepted to United States Air Force Academy. And I said, “Finally!
Going to America, the land of freedom and opportunity, and as soon as I get there, I’ll
start doing all the things that I want to do.” And, of course, I got here and I realized
I had less time now than I had ever had in my life. And guess what? Of course I figured
out another great solution. I said, “You know what, I’m going to wait. I’m going
to wait these four years. I’m gonna be a good little boy and do what I’m told. And
once these four years are done, I’ll be free again, and I’ll start doing all the
things that I want to do.” And then luckily, I read The Way of the Superior Man by David
Deida. Otherwise, I’d be working at a job right now, hoping that I would find another
job where I would have more time to do all the things I wanted to do, and of course ultimately,
I would end up dying before I did any of those things.
So the first big idea is: stop hoping for a completion of anything in life. If you’re
not doing it right now, realize that you’re probably never going to do it.
Now the second big idea is: don’t get lost in tasks and duties. And for me, this was
one of the biggest things. When I was at the Academy, I would wake up and I would say,
“Okay, I have to clean my little room for an hour now, and then I have to go to the
mail room and I have to drop this off, and then I have to take a bunch of papers and
organize them from A to Z, and then when I get back to my room, I have to do a lot of
homework.” And I realized if I'm dying, is that what I'm going to be saying? Oh, I
was a really good boy and I cleaned my room for an hour every day. Is that what I'm going
to say, or is it going to be something like I pursued my purpose? So again, make sure
you're not getting lost in those tasks and duties. And those tasks and duties have a
weird way of seeming like you couldn't do without them. And there are certain things
that you couldn't do without, but you can at least minimize those things and maximize
the time you're dedicating towards actually pursuing your purpose. The third big idea
is: be willing to change everything in your life. And honestly, I don't know if I can
think of anything that's more masculine than this. When I was a little boy, this was probably
something that scared me the most. You know, here I am a little boy and what am I gonna
do if my dad loses his job? You know, he somehow got lucky and landed that job and if he loses
it, guess what? We're done. I'm gonna be starving. So that was something that scared me all my
life. But that was when I was a little boy. Now as a man, I don't care. I don't care.
I've cultivated myself to a point where no matter what happens, no matter what kind of
change I go through, it doesn't matter. I'm going to be able to figure it out. And this
reminds me of a story about Andrew Carnegie. So you're either going to be someone like
Andrew Carnegie, or you're going to be a man that somehow got lucky finding a job and is
holding onto it and not letting go and being scared of what's going to happen if he loses
it. Or you can be someone like Andrew Carnegie. Basically, they asked Andrew Carnegie about
his business, which was the most successful business in the world, and he said, "We don't
care. Go ahead. You can take away everything from us. You can take away the machines. You
can take the factories. We don't care. Give us four years and we'll be back to where we
are." And that's exactly how I feel at this point in my life. I've cultivated the things
that I need to be a man to a point where you can literally take away everything from me.
I don't care. You can drop me in the middle of a street somewhere in the world, and I'll
be able to come back where I am. Now the fourth big idea is: live as if your father were dead.
And I remember reading this for the first time, and I got so upset. I said, "But I respect
my daddy. But I respect him." Okay, it doesn't have to do anything with respect. It just
means that when you're a little boy, people tell you, "Oh, this is good for you. This
is what you need to do. This is what you need to do." When you become a man, and you cultivate
the qualities of a man, there's no one in the world that knows what you need to do better
than you do. Again, a superior man respects everyone, takes people's opinions and betters
himself, but ultimately, I'm not going to go to my mom or my dad and say, "Hey guys,
should I work on my business or is it time for me to go get my MBA? Which one guys?"
Okay, I mean I know guys that are literally, go up to their mom, and they're like, "Oh
but, you know, with my girlfriend, should I have sex in this position or in that position?"
Like what are you doing? As a man, you are the masculine energy, you know what's best
for you. And finally, if you don't know your purpose, discover it now. It kind of like,
when you were a kid, you watched a warrior trying to conquer something, or trying to
save someone, or trying to liberate. That's the purpose. That's what you're attracted
to. You didn't watch some guy waking up, going to work, coming back watching TV, going to
sleep, and then doing the same thing over and over again. If you had all the money and
all the time in the world, what would you do?
I remember asking myself this question a few years ago. Here I was at the Academy getting my 4.0, setting myself up for my MBA,
and all that. And I asked myself this question and I thought, "I'm not doing anything right
now that I would be doing if I had all the money and all the time in the world." So as
a man, you want to have a purpose in your life, And if you don't know what it is, discover
it now. If you're having trouble discovering it, ask yourself this question, "If you had
all the money and all the time in the world, what would you do?!"