It is 3am and insomnia strikes again.
I'm kind of peckish,
but I'm doing this thing where I do not eat after 6pm,
so no midnight snacks for me.
So since I'm awake,
I thought I would do a "questions I've never answered" video
from the comments you guys leave on my channel.
"Your mum is so funny.
"I love when she's in your videos.
"How come your dad isn't in any?
"Do you have a dad?"
From Xavier.
Don't mention the war.
You just made me laugh, Xavier.
Yes, I do have a dad.
Like, biologically, I do.
About a year ago, my dad had this affair
with a woman that he was counselling.
Like, he's a counsellor and he started sleeping with a client.
Fucked up, I know. Unbelievable.
He ditched Mum and us and now he's getting married
to, like, some total hippie freak in her 20s.
Well, she's 36, but she's obsessed with crystals and the moon cycle.
Dad, like, totally ruined Mum's life.
And she's said that she forgives him.
She even wants us to go to his sham wedding.
Well, not her, obviously. That'd be awkward.
But me and T, cos we're family.
I was like, "Yeah, Mum, we were family - past tense -
"and then he destroyed it."
What a fucking dick.
"Who was your best kiss?"
That is from Cassey Cat.
Oh, my God, people are perverts.
You guys are so nosy.
Wayne wasn't bad, I guess.
"You always seem so happy and confident in your videos.
"I'm really shy and insecure and I'd like to be more like you.
"Any tips?" That's from Em.
Aw, that's a nice one.
Oh, Em, that's really sweet. Firstly, you are not alone.
Like, everyone gets insecure.
Like, even models have things that they hate about themselves.
Oh, so you're a model now?
No, I'm not saying that I look like a model.
I clearly do not.
But what I do when I'm feeling shit about myself or down is
just try and be proactive.
Yes. Like, get out there, go for a run, join a dance class.
Like, I feel so much better about myself since I started my new life.
And you ain't seen nothing yet.
I actually want to stab him.
You know, it's like, "Yes, these are my breasts.
"I am 17 and you are practically a pensioner.
"Die, pensioner, die!" What are you doing?
Or maybe I'll sue him for millions.
I don't think you can sue men
for looking at your breasts, unfortunately.
Uh, of course you can.
Any lawyers out there
I want to take legal action against Mr McAllister
for ogling me inappropriately?
You really think any lawyers watch Imo's videos?
Yeah, obviously.
Imo has loads of followers.
One of them must be able to help.
Come on, let's do a call-out.
OK. So, it's official.
If there's anyone out there studying law or is a lawyer
and wants to help us sue the shit out of Mr McAllister,
hit me up in the comments.
Guess who? Get off her, you freak.
Hey, stranger. Never fear, Wayne is here.
Oi, lads, get in here.
What's going on, girls? You all right?
07700 900 312.
Give us a ring if you fancy a fling.
Hilarious.
I'm sure your phone will be hopping.
How are things? Did you miss me?
No. Not really.
What brings you lot to our neck of the woods?
Me and the lads were just having a bit of lunch
and thought we'd say hello.
Enjoying your rabbit food?
It's salad. A salad for rabbits.
No, thanks. They're fucking delicious.
Smoky bacon flavour. Can't beat it.
I'm fine, really. I know you're fine. Have a crisp.
Go on, I dare you.
Oh, he's popping a big question!
Get rid of him. Wayne, get up.
It's Friday, treat yourself.
Wayne, why are you forcing me to eat your stupid crisps?
I'm not forcing you to do anything.
I'm just generously offering you a bit of lunch.
I said, get rid of him.
It's just a crisp, Imo, it won't kill you. Thank you.
What the hell are you doing?
There, now, that wasn't so bad, was it?
Come on, Wayne, let's go for a cig before class. See you later.
What the fuck were that? Good question. It was nothing.
I have to go to the bathroom.
Hi, guys. So, today was, like, the shittest day.
OK, that is probably going to make me feel a bit sick.
So, I'm going to do this until I sweat so much, I forget who I am.
# Happy birthday to me.
# Happy birthday to me. #
How do I look? Smoking hot.
Imo, what the hell are you doing? Skipping.
What, are you a professional boxer now?
We're leaving for the meal in ten minutes.
We're not going anywhere. I'm sorry, T.
I'm just not feeling up to a big social thing.
I just had a really shit day. It's my birthday.
I know, and we can celebrate it another time.
Just me and you, I promise. Let's get back to business.
Are you fucking joking me?
Two of the girls already bailed on me and Dad forgot my birthday.
This is my night, Imo.
Just stop being a freak and get ready.
Chinese food is so gross.
You're not actually considering going, are you?
No, I don't think she's coming, no.
So here I am at Tara's big bash.
Not only have I been talked into coming,
but I am also now official videographer, apparently,
capturing all the madness.
Oi, Imo, gimme!
Hello and welcome to my super-sweet 18th,
which I'm celebrating two years early, but shh,
don't tell management or they'll confiscate el boozo.
Everyone is enjoying the finest Chinese cuisine
that Leeds has to offer, right, girls?
Yeah, the struggle is real.
Imogene, as you can see, is having the time of her life.
Imo, don't you like your chow mein?
There's something a bit off about it.
Are you slandering Ocean City's good name?
You'll make your little prawn sad.
Do you not like yours, Imo?
Do you want some of my fried rice? I've got loads. I'm fine. I just...
I think there's some sweet and sour sauce you can have, as well.
I'm actually fine. I'm not even that hungry.
I ate before I came and stuff. Don't you love me?
Oh, you make me cry. Ooh, come on.
Will you just fuck away from my food, please?
Sorry!
So I am taking a little time away from Tara
and all her drunk 15-year-old friends.
And I'm conveniently near a toilet
in case I need to puke up all those disgusting noodles,
like, they've actually made me feel so sick.
I actually just feel a bit down these days.
Like, I just don't feel like myself.
Today was, like, the worst day.
Everything with Wayne properly confirmed my suspicion
that every guy my age has the mental capacity of a 12-year-old.
TOILET FLUSHES
Oh, great.
"Security! There's a psychopath in the toilet talking to herself".
Anyway...
I just don't want to be here right now.
I told you we shouldn't have come here tonight.
What did you expect?
You have zero willpower.
I know I've a lot to work on and...
Oh, I just need to take control of my life.
I'm setting myself all these targets and I feel like I'm failing already.
You can say that again.
I just want to be here for Tara and have fun with her,
but I just don't have the headspace.
You need to get your priorities straight,
because your life is starting to look like a complete train wreck.
I just...
# Happy birthday to you... # Oh, shit!
# Happy birthday, dear Tara!
# Happy birthday to you!
CHEERING
Speech! Speech!
Thanks, everyone, for coming.
18, finally!
I don't know what to say. Um...
Let them eat cake! THEY CHEER
Mmm, triple chocolate fudge cake, your favourite.
First slice goes to the official film-maker of the evening
and best big sister ever.
One slice? You've come this far. Why not eat the whole fucking thing?
Imo? I'm fine. I'm... Time to eat your feelings, Imogene.
What are you waiting for? I don't... Imo.
I said, what are you waiting for?
Imo! Where are you going?
I'm going home. But we're doing the cake!
I feel sick, I have to go.
Jesus, Imo, could you not even pretend you want to be here?
You're supposed to be my big sister.
Oh, thanks for the reminder, Tara.
I know you're my sister because I can never fucking get away from you.
I literally have not had a second to myself
and now when I feel like I'm going to faint,
you're abusing me for leaving.
You think I don't know what this is about?
I might be younger than you, but I'm not fucking stupid.
This is all about your crazy diet.
I'm telling Mum that you didn't eat a single thing all night.
Oh, tell Mum what you want.
You're pathetic, Tara. And you know what? You're right.
I don't want to be here at your lame party
with all your loser little friends.
We're not surgically attached.
It might be hard for you to get your head around this,
but I don't want to hang out with you
every single second of the fucking day.
Imo, what is wrong with you?
Why would you say that?
You've changed. When did you turn into such a bitch?
Imo! Imo!