[Music]
she's in a mess
over vhs it was the late fee that became
a felony
i could do this for a living you know as
a crime narrator a former oklahoma
resident aren't they all
recently learned she'd been charged with
felony embezzlement over a videotape she
failed to return in 1999.
that's over 21 late years of adult fees
late feasts
oh my god which comes to 25 million
dollars doctor
whatever you you are that's according to
something i just made up
where am i in this but one question
remains
if she doesn't rewind will she face the
death penalty
[Laughter]
the woman says she only became aware of
the charges after getting married in
texas
that happens and being unable to change
her name
apparently the county clerk ran her name
through ask jeeves
the oklahoma store she rented from
doesn't even
exist anymore and what was the tape you
ask
sabrina the teenage witch who's now 53.
according to the woman it was actually
her roommate with young children that
rented the video
same excuse i use when renting pippy
longstocking
[Laughter]
but once again children are the source
of all evil we've been talking about
this for a month the only show that
talks about this
the charges have since been dropped but
it got me thinking about all the tapes i
failed to return over the years
because i just wanted to hold on to them
forever for example
barbie in the diamond castle one of my
favorites oh and then there's barbie a
fairy secret i won't tell you the secret
but it is mind-blowing
and then there's tinkerbell and the
grand fairy rescue
that was exciting and of course
deliverance so
i forgot to return that one on purpose
so joe um have you ever been charged
with a crime
greg i was once uh charged with
loitering but i was acquitted when i
convinced the jury i was actually
lurking at the time
[Applause]
i i do want to point out uh nice job
oklahoma uh
catching your accused felons like we
just have to wait till
they try to get married in texas for
them to get picked up
yes they figured he'd come here she'd
have to get married sometime
and they have they have a lot of good
communication with other states in case
this happens because
yeah uh not so much the murderers but if
there's anybody with an
unreturned vhs tape who's getting
married put us on high alert
um it's so confusing there's got to be
tens of thousands of videos
outstanding oh are you trying to cover
for yourself no i want to
i want to declare guilt right now i mean
i don't want them to find me i'll tell
you
my kids had some video games i'm sure we
didn't turn back and don't do the crime
you can't do the time
what are we in for but didn't he like i
i it's been a long time jonathan
but why would i you were a priest at the
time were you renting movies
were you allowed to rent movies not the
type that you were obviously running
because you you saw you saw that vhs
tape
and immediately adult you went a doll
very awkward i didn't understand it but
then i looked over and i saw
cat and she kind of filled me in i
explained it yeah explained and
it was helpful but um no i i've never
rented a vhs
no really i don't think so what would
you that is incredible that was my
entire like 80s and 90s was like going
there
which leads me to this obvious question
i could talk about this for hours cat
wasn't there a way that like didn't they
have a deposit i always remember there
would be a deposit and if you didn't
turn it in they would just charge you or
something yeah
i don't know i'm concerned you're the
expert on this you flew to blockbuster
on our dime
i i did um i
also i guess i'm just confused like i
just if this applies
also to like library that was your
defense for every story we'd be screwed
yeah well how do you not know you're a
felon because i don't know
am i a felon like i don't know and
that's concerning
because i like have a lot of late fleet
fees at a library in one state
that i lived in yeah and then i moved oh
and it's still there so am i can't go
back there
you can't come back anyway look i would
have
the words of the like i didn't pay the
words of the uh grandmother
from happy gilmore i would have but i
didn't have any money
so i moved am i gonna and that was the
reason for moving
were the overdue fees there were so many
fees and i just would earn moving
why didn't you just return the books
well because my life was really sad and
like
complicated and tumultuous and i just
didn't get around to it here's another
here's an interesting thing that bothers
me about this if this is the most
harmless thing to come out of your past
it's like if somebody came up to me and
said greg we need to talk to you about
something that happened in 1999
i would already be halfway up to the
roof
yeah and then they go it's about an
overdue vhs tape
and i go cool they didn't find out about
the film i made with the biker gang
or maybe they did it did make it to vhs
i'll tell you that much
i'm with cat it's confusing because
everyone in this room feels like
i must have some outstanding debt they
need to come get me but god forbid if
the government owes you money
yes then no one's there no you'll never
hear from no one's
chasing that down all right up next
great point doctor
that's why he's a doctor we think