- Okay, here's my idea: we go in half and half
on a company that sells dongles,
drop ship so there's no inventory,
and hire out a bunch of virtual assistants
in India so we don't do any actual work,
and boom, we are millionaires.
What do you think?
- It's a good idea, but who are you?
- Hey, boss, what's crackalackin'?
- All of your work is garbage. - Oh.
- You've managed to do everything incorrectly.
- The way I look at it is, at least I was doing something.
- It's as if you rushed to do everything
at the last second after spending the entire day
secretly playing online poker.
- How did you know?
- I can see everything you do on your work computer.
- That's embarrassing.
- You're not even that good at poker.
- Okay, harsh. - Do better.
At work and poker.
- But boss, we work for the government.
Does the work really need to be done correctly?
- That is an excellent point. Carry on.
- I gotcha. Now it's time to win back that two grand I lost.
- You are going down, player!
- I live and breathe this game.
It is an extension of my identity.
You cannot win.
- But you are no match for my strategy.
- What? What are you doing, man?
This- It doesn't even make sense!
- Exactly. You must learn to harness the chaos.
- No! Stop it, you monster!
- You must face the monster that is inside of you
and embrace it!
- How are you beating me with slappers?
I've got a rocket launcher!
- Be precise in your slaps. That is my strategy.
- Stop it!
You're slapping me to death!
- And game.
- No.
My identity is crumbling.
- I'll have the Trenti Sugar Dump Latte, please.
- Excellent choice. Our most popular drink.
- I like to get what's popular.
- That'll be seven fiddy.
Would you like to donate an extra dollar to charity?
- Of course. I'm not a Barbarian.
Who doesn't do the extra dollar
to a random charity at the checkout?
- I know, right?
What's up with people these days?
- What is the charity, by the way?
- I don't know, it's, like, Save Something.
I mean, it sounds good.
- Good enough for me.
Take my money.
- So, you forgot about my birthday yesterday.
- Oh, no! I can't believe it.
I feel so bad.
- Don't feel bad.
Actually, I'm glad you forgot it.
- Really? Why?
- Because it made me feel less guilty
about forgetting your birthday.
- To be honest, I forgot your birthday on purpose
in revenge.
There's only one way to make this right.
- And what's that?
- Go out tonight and celebrate twice as hard!
- Giddy up.
- Good news, buddy.
I have planned out every detail of our trip
to the National Model Train Convention.
- Dude, that convention is, like,
7 and a half months from now.
Why did you put off planning it for so long?
- You are so right.
I was really cutting it close.
- I'm sensing that you're facing a very big decision.
- Yes, and I am sensing that you are having some problems
with a friend or relative.
- That's true.
And I'm sensing that you're having some uncertainty
with this decision.
- Wow, yes.
And I feel as though this friend
or relative does not appreciate you.
- You are so right!
And I'm sensing that you feel stuck
and are worried about going down the wrong path.
- You are good.
And I'm sensing that you feel judged by this person.
- Yes. And I am sensing that you are afraid
of the unknowns of the future.
- Yes. (sobbing)
- Yes, yes. (sobbing) I'm sensing it.
- I'm sensing it too, man.
- Oh. - Oh.
Hi. - Well, this is unexpected.
- Yeah. - And here I thought
you were busy today,
visiting your Aunt Hilda in the hospital.
- Mm-hmm. - Which is why,
supposedly, you canceled on our plans
to hit up every taco truck in town
and eat until we got sick.
- Yeah, so, Aunt Hilda is actually doing much better,
so now I am headed over to her house to visit her there.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- Well, then.
Let's get those tacos and bring them to Aunt Hilda's house!
(dramatic music)
- Oh, wow. (chuckles)
I've made a lot of 16 Personalities comedy sketches
on this channel.
You don't believe me?
Well, why don't you watch some more?
Watch this one here.
You'll love it.
Binge the whole playlist right here.
It'll take you several hours.
I appreciate your time commitment.
If you've got an idea for a 16 Personalities sketch,
let me know in the comments.
See you next week.
Until then, stay cool and attractive.