Do you want to know what the signs are that you are texting with a narcissist?
In this video, I'm going to give you five signs
that the person who's on the other end of that phone may just be a narcissist.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung, and I have been recognized by a number of organizations
as one of the top 1% of attorneys in the country. And I have written a couple of bestselling books:
Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R. and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide.
And, more importantly for you, I have helped millions of people in negotiating with, and
dealing with, and getting out of relationships, with narcissists. So if that sounds good to you,
and you want to get out of that relationship with that narcissist, whether it's a business
relationship, or a romantic relationship, or just a friend relationship, then hit subscribe
and hit that notification bell. So, let's talk about whether or not you're
texting with a narcissist on the other side. So, the first little cue that you're going to get
is that love bombing. So remember, relationships with narcissists usually always start off with
something that looks like what we call love bombing, which is that they're just ... They
come on super strong as the most amazing person. And it's almost like a little bit overwhelming.
If you want to know more about love bombing, I would definitely check out my video
just on love bombing, but basically it's just that they are ... They come on super strong.
They're just in your face all the time. You almost can't even breathe because they don't want to give
you a chance to think or anything like that. So, right away, they're making plans. They're
telling you how amazing you are, that you're perfect, that they can be perfect for you.
So, if it's in a business setting, they can bring you the best clients, the most money.
They have all the right contacts. They have the best skills. Whatever it is you're looking for,
they've done it before. They've done it super successfully. They can introduce you to all the
right people. Whatever it is, they're very good at honing in on whatever it is that they see that
you want, or need, or would be good for you. And, so, they'll do the same thing in text
messages. So, suddenly, you're being love-bombed. You're just like, "You're so beautiful. You're
so amazing. You're so successful. I can't believe I met someone like you.
How lucky is it? We are perfect for each other. This whole thing is meant to be."
And maybe people will say things like that, and they're not narcissists, obviously. But
this is just one sort of little indication. If it feels like, "Oh my gosh, it's a little much."
They're coming on really, really strongly, then maybe it's a possibility that you're being
love-bombed by a narcissist, unfortunately. So, number two, is they talk a lot about
themselves. So, every single time you're in a text conversation with this person,
they're telling you that ... what's going on in their work, in their day,
what's happening with them. They can't believe that this happened. This crisis is going on,
and all about them, all about them, all about them. And they never really ask about you. Or
it might just be sort of like an afterthought. "Oh yeah. Well, and how are you doing? Okay."
And then they never even respond to that. You tell them, and then they don't respond to that.
So, if there's a lot of talk about themselves and a lot of talk about their own issues, and you just
find yourself texting back, spending quite a lot of time just going on and on about helping
them ... And, of course, you, if you're getting into the relationship with this narcissist,
are probably an empath. You're probably a person who feels very deeply for people, who
wants to help people, who feels like you can save people, or you care so much, then it's probably
just really second nature for you to just go, "How are you?" and "Oh my
gosh," and "This is terrible." And you don't mind, actually,
for a lot of it, helping this other person and pouring yourself into this other person.
But then, at some point, you start to realize, "Well, wait a minute. They don't actually ever
ask about me. How is that going on?" And you think, "Well, am I being selfish?"
But, no, I mean, at some point, the other person should be, "How is your
day going?" or "What's going on with you?" or something in that text message conversation.
So, if there's a whole lot of stuff about themselves, then maybe that's an indication that
you are texting with a narcissist. And, by the way, if you want to know more about narcissistic
favorite phrases, you should definitely check out my video on the Narcissist's Favorite Phrases.
So, the next one is going to be like future faking or
saying things that, "We are going to go and do all of these things.
The future's going to be amazing for us. We're going to create this amazing business.
We are going to go do things together," if it's a romantic relationship or a friendship. They might
plan a lot of different things with you in the text messages, and then they never really come
to fruition, like what's going on with that? And the next one might be just that they're
completely not responding to you at all. And sometimes that can be called ghosting
or whatever. But just not responding to you at all can also be something that they can do,
where you respond back to them and then, all of a sudden, they're not responding to you. Now, it's
like days have gone by. And so you're back and forth between this love bombing and this devalue
in the form of getting the silent treatment from them or no contact from them at all or ghosting.
So if you want to know more about the differences between silent treatment, no contact,
and ghosting, check out my video on that. It can be very confused sometimes because they're,
what we call future faking, meaning that they're planning all this stuff with you,
and then you respond back. And now, all of a sudden,
you're not hearing from them anymore. Maybe they go dark for a day or two or even longer.
And then when you start to ask them, "Hey, how come you went dark on me?" They get mad at you,
and "How come all of a sudden you're all over me? You can't leave me alone. You're badgering me,"
something like that. And this is the person who was also love bombing you and was saying
you were so perfect for each other. And, so, it can be very, very confusing.
And that's where you start to feel devalued. And your brain is going back and forth between
happiness and joy and confusion and hurt and pain, constantly back and forth. And that's where you
start to develop trauma and toxic thinking, stew-thinking. Your brain starts feeling very
scrambled because of all of this back and forth. And if you are just shaking your head, saying,
"Oh my gosh, this is so wrong." Just give me an SMH in the comments for shaking my head, SMH.
And the fourth example of a text from a narcissist is a lot of bragging. So they do a lot of bragging
about their accomplishments, all the things that they're doing, how everybody else is so stupid,
how everybody else was inept at work, and they were so smart, and how they came up with all this,
some innovative thing. Or that they stopped something from happening or
saved tons of money for the company, or whatever it is that they have done.
They're just, in the text messages, just constantly bragging, bragging, bragging
about their own accomplishments and how everybody else is so inept or stupid or something like
that. So that can be definitely an indication that you might be dealing with a narcissist.
And the last one is that they send lots of pictures of themselves. So,
you get tons of pictures of this narcissist. And it's not pictures of other people or things
that are going around them, or even asking for pictures of you. They just believe that you must
want tons and tons of pictures of them. And, so, that could definitely be an indication as well.
So, if you have gotten any of these text messages, I want to see that SMH in the comments.
And if you are negotiating with a narcissist, and you're just ... You're getting these texts,
and you're realizing you're going to have to get into a negotiation with these narcissists
or this person, I offer you to download my free Crush My Negotiation prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com. You can just get it at winmynegotiation.com.
Come join me also in my free private Facebook group called Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca
Zung. And if you like this video, like, share, drop me a comment, and hit that
subscribe button and that notification bell. I'm Rebecca Zung. I am so glad you stopped by
my channel today, and I will see you in the next video.