I'd like to discuss something that happened very recently.
We were doing a segment of the podcast
where I talked to fans,
people all around the world.
They drop, when do they drop?
Thursdays.
But we had this very strange moment.
We were talking to a woman.
From Westerly, Rhode Island.
Named Sarah,
who's an optometrist.
We were laughing a bunch of different things
and then I just said,
"what's the worst thing you've seen,
you know, ailment you've seen come into your office?"
Obviously, mostly it's fitting prescriptions,
but what's the worst?
Has anyone ever come in with an injury?
And she said,
"Oh yeah, a guy came in
and his chicken had attacked him
and poked into his eye.
And out nowhere.
Do you remember this, Sona?
Out of, suddenly.
Yeah.
It's the craziest thing.
It's like on cue.
On cue.
(3 Laughing)
Yeah.
Matt Gourley says,
"oh yeah, I have a relative."
And then you gave this crazy name that sounds made up.
I know.
And it's so crazy that I wrote it down on my desk
and it's still here written on my desk.
Elmer Elmsworth Gourley.
Elsworth Gourley.
Elsworth.
I'm oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Don't Wanna mess up Elsworth.
[] Yeah. So we're talking to this woman
and she mentions something insane,
cause she's an optometrist.
And she says yeah,
one guy came in and his chicken had attacked him
and pecked his eye.
And immediately,
as if it were nothing
Gourley just says,
"oh yeah, I had a relative,
a great great grandfather named
Elmer Elsworth Gourley,
whose eye was pecked out by a chicken.
And then he immediately holds up a photo.
Yeah.
Of this guy from 1880.
Who's missing an eye
and he is got a big mustache.
Beautiful mustache.
And you had the picture ready to go.
Yeah.
This was not that up.
This was not a in any way,
we didn't do any research.
We didn't know anything about this.
It was totally random that this woman,
Sarah mentioned this
and you have an effing picture of Elmer Elsworth Gourley
missing an eye,
ready to go.
How is that possible?
I've just been carrying it around.
Waiting for the chance to bring it up.
(laughing)
Finally today it did.
That's that's exactly what it looked like.
I pictured you.
You go to lectures,
you go to restaurants,
you always have the picture ready to go.
You're always ready for someone to say,
"Well, that puts me in mind.
At the time someone got their eye pecked out by a chicken."
And you leap up and you say,
"I too, sir.
Know of such a man.
His name be Elmer Elsworth Gourley
and here is his visage.
And you hold up a picture.
It's never happened.
There's so many times when someone said chicken
and he's perked up,
ready to go.
Or else he's somewhere random.
And he's got his picture ready to go.
And someone says,
"I'll never forget the time,
my great, great grandfather had his eye pecked out."
And you're like,
"here we go"
"by an owl."
You slowly sink back into your seat
and jam the wrinkled photo of Elmer Elsworth Gourley
back into your jacket.
There's a usual suspects aspect to this.
Where if you listen back to the podcast,
you wouldn't know it.
cause it never got there
but I'm always bringing up chickens in the eye.
(laughing)
Yeah, sure.
Yeah. Hoping that you can get Jessica Alba
and she's like,
"wait, what?
who's this guy talking now?
I thought I was talking to Conan."
"Just I'm curious if you have an eye for the chicken.
If you know what I mean?"
Don't you think chickens are so dangerous.
Hey, wait a minute.
I'm I'm determined.
Like any good reporter.
I must find out,
why Gourley?
did you have that picture ready to go?
So hesitant to tell you of all people.
Cause I just feel like
you're never gonna let me live this down, but.
I can't wait.
Okay.
I have a band and I have a song about this man called Isor
(laughing)
and I'm working on a video where
I'm doing this little old seventies computer
that does a printout of the visuals
and it scrolls along.
And I just know I'm in for it
once I've told you that
and it's out now.
Oh my God.
What a gift.
I am a very,
a man who starving to death
and I've been crawling.
I'm crawling through the desert.
I know.
Oh God.
And I just came upon a large Thanksgiving,
a large fresh Thanksgiving meal
on a table with white linen
and one chair and a little card there
that says Mr. O'Brien.
And I am gonna chow down.
You have a band?
what's the band?
It's called Townland.
And what do you play in the band?
I'm guessing guitar.
I play guitar.
Yeah.
Okay.
And you wrote a song about your ancestor.
What is he your great, great grandfather?
That's right?
Yeah.
And his name.
Say it again.
Elmer Elsworth Gourley.
And you wrote a song about this man called
Isaw?
Yeah.
(laughing)
Because,
I guess it's funny to you that he lost an eye.
Well tragedy plus time.
(laughing)
It is true.
It's been a while.
It is true.
It's been a while.
How does the song go?
Can you tell us any of the lyrics?
Oh God.
I mean, let me, let me think of it.
This is delicious.
This is succulent.
Sona taste some of this Gourley discomfort.
Isn't it delicious?
It is quite tasty.
I'm not gonna lie.
I usually don't like siding with you
but this is very delicious.
Oh my God.
I couldn't have another bite or could I?
If I know you you'll be eating on this for years.
Do you, does the song recreate the accident?
Is it like,
the song is talking about Elmer Elsworth Gourley
and then you hear
(imitates chicken's crow)
(laughing)
Yeah.
(Sona laughing)
And then you hear my eye!
my eye!
It's all chicken sounds.
You remember that?
Jingle bell song gun by dogs.
Yep. Okay.
You, you seem hesitant to tell us too much more
about the song.
I'm hesitant about everything right now.
Will this be available?
When will people get to maybe go online
and listen to your band?
What's the name again?
Of your band please.
Townland.
Metallica was taken.
(Sona laughing)
Yes.
It's out February 22nd.
And the album is called 'Honey On The High-Fi.'
Can we see the photo again Matt?
Can you show it to us?
Yeah show it to us again.
I just wanna see him again.
Okay. Oh wow.
It kinda looks like Toby McGuire
with a Kurt Russell mustache from tombstone.
But then.
I mean, I'm not gonna lie.
He's a looker.
Except both those, both those actors you referenced
though had both their eyes.
I think he was a teacher.
A one eye teacher.
I mean,
I'm not if he was my teacher,
I'd be like "hello, Mr.Gourley."
(Matt laughing)
Yeah.
He was a good looking guy.
Yeah he's dapper huh?
He's pretty dapper.
Yeah he's handsome.
Although of course, absolutely.
Absolutely no depth perception.
Look at him.
Yeah that's the problem,
when you've got one eye,
there's just he'd go to put the wedding ring on you
and you'd be like
"no, you've got six more feet to go
before you hit my finger."
Oh God.
This is, did he ever opt for a glass eye or a prosthetic?
I don't know.
He certainly didn't have Aaron one in this photo.
I think back then they just used what was it,
they put whatever was available in there?
A marble.
No or like an ink well.
(laughing)
Or sometimes the hub of a wagon wheel.
They just jammed whatever was in there
and people they'd go into a bar
and people'd be like,
"are you looking at me?"
"No, no.
That's a wagon wheel in my left socket."
It's still a hundred years
before they come up with the old glass eye prosthetic.
Did he wear an eye patch?
I've never seen a picture of him with an eye patch.
I would wear eye patch.
(Matt) Yeah, I would too.
Do you know why the chicken attacked him?
I think it happened when he was a boy.
So maybe he was just playing with the chicken
and my the only thing I've been told by my grandpa was
a quote over zealous rooster pecked his eye out
when he was a boy.
Is that one of the lines in the song?
No.
Do you want any help with any of the lyrics?
Yeah, I could.
Would you mind?
It's not too late.
The album's done and up and out by now
but we can always resubmit.
My mind is just bubbling with possibilities.
Yeah.
I'm trying to think of what rhymes with rooster.
How about 200 years before he'd need his VAX booster?
He was attacked by an overzealous rooster.
You can join the band cause that's solid.
Incredible, an incredible story.
And I can't wait for all of you to enjoy this song.
Take us into it like a radio DJ.
(rock music playing)
♪ You're listening to KOMM Radio, ♪
♪ Southern California's only podcast great radio. ♪
♪ With your host Conan O'Brien. ♪
All right.
Well guess what that rock and new band outta Pasadena,
Townland is back
and they have got a new wax platter
(Matt laughing)
that we're gonna be spinning today.
This is quite a song.
This one's dedicated
to Elmer Elsworth Gourley
and we call this one 'Eyesore.'
Give a listen.
(guitar music playing)
♪ Well, what the hell, ♪
♪ might as well go bend an elbow for the boy ♪
♪ Don't you cry ♪
♪ Elmer Gourley prematurely lost an eye. ♪
♪ Dimestore Folklore ♪
♪ Eyesores shed some ♪
♪ Four score and seven tears ♪
♪ Yes, I'd agree ♪
♪ Mary Kelty simply felt he was the one ♪
♪ Working eye ♪
♪ Gave a glancin' so romancin' you could die ♪
♪ Dimestore Folklore ♪
♪ Eyesores shed some ♪
♪ Four score and seven tears ♪
♪ Rooster schmooster ♪
♪ You sir are a ♪
♪ Bruiser, most severe ♪
♪ The schoolhouse attic ♪
♪ the barnyard paddock ♪
♪ The red fanatic ♪
♪ I've always had it ♪
I've always had it
♪ Oh, Elmer boy ♪
♪ You can an eyelash for a mustache coming in ♪
♪ Point of fact ♪
♪ I'm a man now and clean your plow for that ♪
♪ Dimestore Folklore ♪
♪ Eyesore shed some ♪
♪ Four score seven tears ♪
♪ Rooster schmooster ♪
♪ You sir are a ♪
♪ Bruiser most severe ♪
♪ Dispatch chicken scratch ♪
♪ Railroad run by the ♪
♪ Eye patch engineer ♪
♪ By the eye patch engineer ♪
♪ By the eye patch engineer. ♪