(upbeat music)
(ding)
(buzz)
(gasps)
- Hi there!
- Hands!
- Ow!
(laughs)
- Have you decided on your last meal?
- No not yet.
- Well you need to choose before you're executed.
Time's running out.
- I just don't know what I want, you know.
I just don't know what I'm in the mood for.
- Just pick something.
(gasps)
- I always love, like a really good seafood paella.
With fish, little shrimps.
Just put 'em in my mouth.
(lips smacking)
But it takes like an hour to make, so nevermind.
- Come on.
Uhh, how about chicken?
- Chicken?
- Chicken.
- Did you say chicken?
- Chicken.
(lips smacking)
- Don't kiss that.
- But how would the chicken be prepared?
- Any way you want.
- Oh!
What if I have like the best chicken in the entire world?
That would be so delicious.
(slaps)
- Ow.
- What does that even mean?
Where would we find that?
- You're right, good point, it's so subjective.
Chicken being the best is
subjective. - Oh!
How about a really good omelet?
- No, keep going.
- Hash browns?
- No.
- Some sausage?
- No, that's more of a breakfast.
- Breakfast is good all the time.
- I just don't really feel like, I don't want it.
- Look, I can't do my job until you decide.
You're holding everyone up.
- Oh, I know!
I really am trying.
I'm trying so hard.
Oh!
What about a full buffet?
And then I can have a little bit of everything.
- No we're not gonna make you a buffet.
(growls)
- How about a pastrami sandwich and potato pancakes?
- Oh my god, no.
I have that every freaking night.
- What?
- I had it last night.
- How'd you get that?
- I'm friends with the cook.
- Rick.
- Hey have you ever seen a dead body?
(slaps)
Well I've seen 50.
- How about a lobster, huh?
- Ugh. - That's fancy.
- That's so much money.
I don't wanna put the taxpayers out like that.
- Hands, hands, hands!
(slaps) - Sorry!
- Jesus Christ, will you just hurry up?
- I know.
I just don't know, I really don't know,
and I don't wanna make you mad again.
(sighs)
- Okay.
How about you just surprise me, okay?
And then I will have whatever you have,
a little chef's choice of a meal.
- Fine, then you're gonna have the traditional last meal:
steak, eggs, hashbrowns, and toast.
- No, no, that's (sighs) that's just breakfast again.
I still don't really feel like a breakfast.
- You shut up about breakfast!
Ooh, what about a grilled cheese and tomato soup?
That's a classic.
- That does sound good, but here's the thing,
cheese makes my stomach hurt.
- You're literally gonna die right after.
What does it matter if you have a tummy ache?
(growling)
- Do you know what I just realized?
If I had just ordered the seafood paella
it would be done already, and I'd be eating it.
(growling)
- Just pick something!
- What if I go vegan for my last meal?
Would that score me some points?
- No!
Absolutely not!
How could it?
You shot all 50 members of the Johnson family,
at their family picnic last summer!
Hands, hands, hands!
- Good point.
Plus, I don't know if I'm ready to commit
to a vegan diet for the rest of my life.
- This is your last meal!
You're gonna be dead!
- Yeah, you're right!
Now is not the time to experiment.
Maybe.
- Please just choose.
You're running out of time and I'm gonna have to give you
the exact same thing that all the other inmates are...
(slaps)
Are having today.
- Yeah, that's fine.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Are you sure?
You're gonna eat it?
- Oh, I'll eat all of it.
- Promise?
- Pinky.
- No pinky. - Okay.
- Five feet, five feet.
(yelling)
- [Inmate] Now that's a last meal.
(growling)
(electronic decrescendo)
(whoosh)
- Hi it's Katie Marovich from CollegeHumor.
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