Hi there, this is Harry and welcome back to Advanced English lessons with Harry,
where I try to help you to get a better understanding
of the English language. Help you to prepare for those proficiency exams,
or just basically to improve your conversational English, your business English. Whatever it is,
you've come to the right place, and we're very happy to help you. And in this particular lesson,
we're going to focus on disagreement, how to disagree in English, but politely.
Okay, so it's an advanced English lesson, looking at ways and expressions you can use as to how to
disagree with somebody, but in a polite way. Of course, if we don't disagree with somebody,
we can just simply say, I don't agree. No, I don't I don't agree with you. No,
that's rubbish. Yeah. So that can come across sometimes as a bit rude.
But if we want to be a bit polite, because either it's a customer, or it's our boss,
or it's somebody we don't wish to upset, or perhaps you're just a nice person,
and we don't like to be rude if we can avoid it, then there are ways in which you can disagree,
politely. As always, on many cases, we've got 10 of these, I'll give them to you one by one,
and hopefully give you an example that you will be able to use, or you will be able to practice them.
Okay, let's start. As I said, we've got 10. Number one, really, and it's really with a question mark,
really, and when we, we disagree with somebody, we... it's all about the intonation. So if
somebody says, black, and you think it's white, they go, Really? Yeah, so your intonation or
your body language would suggest that you don't agree, but it's not you're not being aggressive,
or you're not being rude. Really? Is that what you think? Really? Yeah. Okay,
I think this order is in the bag. I think I've got it. Really? Yeah, I think we've got a little bit
more time to wait until we get the confirmation. So it's intonation, body language. Really?
That number two. I don't think so. I don't think so. No, I don't think so. Now, again,
here, it's about the intonation. So when we use this, I don't think so, it's again,
it's a way of saying to somebody, I don't agree. Okay. Yeah. So do you think we will get the job
done by the end of the week? Yeah, of course, no problem. I think we'll actually have it
completed tomorrow. I don't think so. There's a lot more to this than you think. Okay. Do
you think that customer is going to sign up to that new contract? Yeah, I think he'll have no
choice when he sees that, you know, the effort we've put in, you know that, you know, we have
to increase the cost? I don't think so. So it's all the intonation that you put into this again,
expressing your doubt, your uncertainty, or your level of disagreement? I don't think so. Do you
think we're going to win win this this cup? Ah, I think yeah, it's in the bag. We've got
a great team this year. I think we will really win it quite easily. I don't think so. Okay.
Number three. Now, number three, again, about intonation. Okay, all about where you put the
stress, the words themselves are quite short. No way. No way. No. But if you put a lot of emphasis
and stress, no way. Yeah. So you know, or no way. It really emphasises the fact that you don't agree
with what somebody is saying. I'm going to go to the party, we're going to go out with
the friends. And I won't be back late. No way. You've got school tomorrow, you're not going to
any party tonight. So when that classic argument between parent and child, they want to go out. But
you know, the school tomorrow and you're going to have a real difficult job trying to wake them up
and get them ready for school the next morning. So No way. You're not going to the party on a
Wednesday or Thursday. Yeah. Friday, Saturday, okay. But Monday through to Thursday? No way,
you're not going. So you disagree with whatever somebody has asked you to do.
Number four, I'd say the opposite. I'd say the opposite. So when somebody says something,
and you want to disagree. Well, in fact, I'd say the opposite. Or I'd say the opposite is
true. Actually, this is how I believe it's going to work. So you want to disagree with
somebody. You don't want to have a row, but you know, from experience or you know,
because you know the person better that this is not actually going to be
the way it works out. It is going to be the opposite. I'd say the opposite. Or in fact,
I'd say the opposite will happen. Just watch. Yeah. So you could be having a discussion about
the new election or election of a government and your friend believes that the party from
the left are going to win because the people are unhappy. They're not happy about recent tax
increases, and they're worried about inflation or jobs, whatever it is they're worried about.
So your friend believes that people are going to vote on mass for the parties on the left,
and you say, Well, I'd say the opposite. Even though people are a bit disgruntled
or unhappy with this government, at least they know them. Yeah. But the party from the left,
they've got some very, very strange strategies, very strange ideologies. I'm not so sure it's
going to be as easy as you think, for them to get into power. So I'd actually say the opposite.
Number five, and again, a very simple expression and a way to disagree. Not necessarily,
not necessarily. So you're not saying no, and you're not saying, I don't believe you, or I don't
agree. Not necessarily. So again, if we go back to our discussion about politics and your friend or
friends or discussing it over a beer in the bar, and they all have their input, the old say, what
they think is going to happen? And you say, Well, not necessarily. You know, there's a possibility
that this other party are going to win. You know, they're very, very good. They've got lots of young
candidates, they will appeal to the younger voters. You know, there are a lot of people
now going to be voting for the first time. So I'm not so sure this party are going to walk in as
they did the last time. So yeah, not necessarily. Okay. So when we're asked, if something's going to
happen, or we believe something's going to happen, we we might just disagree, but we don't want to
say definitely. So we might just use an expression like, well, not necessarily. So a good way and a
soft way, a gentle way, friendly way, polite way to disagree. Not necessarily. Do you think this is
over? Do you think we'll ever get our salary increase? Do you think we'll get a bonuses?
I think this company is really, really gone downhill? Not necessarily. I mean, if we approach
the management in the right way, we approach them with our ideas, perhaps they will listen,
yeah, it's going to be difficult, but nothing is over. Yes, until it is over. So not necessarily.
Number six, how can you say that? How can you say that? So again, a way of expressing our doubt,
or a disagreement with something that somebody says, How can you say that? So somebody makes
a very strong statement, and you disagree with it. And you really want to challenge them as to
what they've said, see? How can you say that. So for example, somebody is talking about the
level of immigration, it's a big hot potato in Europe, and has been for several years. And so
some people have very, very strong opinions, whether immigrants should be allowed into
country should be allowed to stay. And you might have a very different opinion,
you might support the idea that your government and your country should be generous and kind and
open the doors to immigration. So when somebody voices a different opinion, you might just say,
well, how can you say that when these people have lost everything, these people have risked
everything, these people have walked for hundreds and hundreds of kilometres to get here. You know,
they're obviously desperate. So how can you say that? So again,
we're voicing our disagreement, but not in a rude way, in a polite way. How can you say that?
Number seven. Where's the logic in that? So this is usually around facts and figures.
So if somebody is just speaking, as we say, from the top of their head, and it doesn't make sense,
the numbers don't stack up, you're just scratching your head wondering, what does that all mean? You
might say, Well, look, where's the logic in that? Where's the logic in the argument that you've put
forward? You know, it doesn't make sense to me. So I really can't agree with you. Where's the logic
in that? So it could be if your boss wants you to all to work harder to get more products produced
to increase the the stock of the products in the warehouses. And you're questioning it because,
well, if we're not selling the product, what's the point of making more? We're going to run
out of space, and then we'll have to rent additional warehousing space to hold all this
new product that we're producing. So where's the logic in that? So when somebody explains
it to you about what the plan is, you scratch your head and say, Well, I don't understand,
where's the logic in that? So when somebody presents one argument to you, and you don't
agree with it, and you question, the facts, the figures, that justification for something,
you might use the expression, where's the logic, and that just doesn't make sense.
Number eight, so here, we might be sounding a little bit exasperated when somebody says
something and maybe they repeated several times, you might say Something like,
you can't honestly believe that. Come on, you can't honestly believe. Or you
can't honestly think that so you're really asking them to think long and hard before
they really confirm their view or their opinion, you can't honestly think that,
I know you a long time. I know the sort of person you are. So somebody might be saying something,
just to be provocative. Lots of people do they say things to create an argument to
get discussion going, and you might be a little bit exasperated with it. So you, you say to them,
Well, you can't honestly believe that. I don't believe that you believe that. I can't honestly
believe that. Or do you honestly think that? So you're checking what they say and how they
say it. And do they really, really believe it? So you're, you're trying to disagree with them,
but in a polite way. So we say, you can't honestly believe that or you can't honestly think that.
Number nine. It just doesn't make sense to me. It just doesn't make sense to me. So this is a little
bit plainer. Yeah, it's a little bit more obvious why you're disagreeing with somebody. Well, I hear
what you're saying. Yeah. But it just doesn't make sense to me, because so we give them the reasons
why we believe it doesn't make sense. So we are disagreeing with them in a polite way. But we're
offering a counter argument, it doesn't make sense to me, because, okay. Now, it could be simply
simply that your partner suggests that, okay, I'll pick up the kids from school, I'll drop them home,
then I'll go back to the office and spend a couple of hours there, then I'll come come
back home. And then we can go out to the party. And you say, Well, that seems a lot of journeys,
that just doesn't make sense to me, why don't we just get the kids to get the bus home,
I'll be there 10 minutes after that, there'd been no problems. And then I'll get a taxi,
and I'll meet you at your office a little later. So you don't have to do two or three different
journeys. And that's a lot better. It's, it means less journeys, that time... less time
sitting in traffic. So your first suggestion, it just doesn't make sense. To me, there's a few
alternatives that we could think of, okay, so not just say, no, no, that's a stupid idea. You know,
what are you doing there? It just doesn't make sense to me, a lot more polite.
And then finally, number 10. This is when we get a little bit excited. Okay. And again, with the
intonation, we can really express a little bit of dissatisfaction. So you have to be really,
really careful how you say this, because even though we're trying to suggest being polite,
if you stress it too much, it might come across a little bit impolite. Oh, that's ridiculous. Oh,
that's ridiculous. So that's not such a bad way to say it. But if you put too much stress on it,
That's ridiculous. So you're putting more stress on it, the intonation is very definite that you
don't agree, and it could come across as a little bit rude. So if you sort of want to
treat it half as a joke, that's ridiculous that nobody does that these days. Yeah. Okay. Oh,
that's a ridiculous suggestion, that's not going to work at all.
So you have been as polite as you can to tell somebody that is not going to work.
Now, there are lots and lots of other ways in which we can disagree with people, you know,
we can say, Are you talking through your hat? Or you're talking through
your backside. Or you're talking a load of poo. Yeah, there are lots of ways in
which we can tell somebody that we don't agree, and they will be very definitely,
perhaps taken with a little bit of a joke, but sometimes people can get offended, and they
would certainly appear to be impolite. So what we're trying to stress is ways of disagreeing,
but at the same time, being polite. So let me run through them one more time, there are 10 of them.
Really? I don't think so. No way. I'd say the opposite. In fact,
not necessarily. How can you say that? Where's the logic in that?
You can't honestly believe that or you can't honestly think that.
It just doesn't make sense to me. That's ridiculous. Okay,
so 10 ways in which you can disagree, but 10 ways in which you can disagree,
disagree in a polite way. So that's the end of this particular lesson. As always,
try to practice them, try to introduce them. Next time you're having a discussion with your partner
next time you have in a chat with your work colleagues, whatever it is, try to use one or
two of these when you have the opportunity to have a disagreement or to disagree with
somebody and if you need some additional help, come back to me www.englishlessonviaskype.com.
I try to give you a couple of more examples. Okay, so this is Harry wishing you a good day.
Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening and, as always, remember to join me for the next lesson