And I'm guessing the implication
that we're talking about straight men
for the most part in this question, I would say.
Yeah.
I think we're like,
safely assuming here that this person themselves
isn’t a man when they’re wondering,
what is it with these men?
With these men over here!
In 2021 porn did a survey.
And it was the eighth most searched term.
So like it's not...
And the sixth most viewed.
I actually thought that would be higher.
Yeah.
But that's I mean, still top ten,
but yeah, I did think that's not uncommon.
And absolutely. you're not imagining things.
We've talked about butt stuff a bit on Horny On Main.
We've gone into rimming and a lot of the time the answer
and a lot of the time the answer,
as long as everyone's like, fully enthusiastic
and exploring carefully and all of those things,
to most questions is like, like go for it, fun!
But I can understand if this person that's written into us,
like if they're with a sexual partner
or sexual partners who just keep asking
and keep asking and keep asking when they're not that into it.
Like I can understand why you might not want to hear
from a man full stop for another few years or whatever.
Yeah.
So if we're breaking down
like part of the, what is the obsession?
So yes, like it's
a thing of the times and things are becoming less
hush hush than maybe they were once.
but also
like part of this answer, even if it's
depending on the person, not much of it.
Like at least part of it is that that butts are hot.
Butts are juicy, butts are hot, that's part of why
men might be obsessed
with anal sex is ‘oh, a new thing to explore, butts are hot’.
It's another part of your body that your partners
can engage with that is also
hidden, like you know, your other genitalia.
And, you know, I think it's so obvious
to say, but, butts have that kind of like, inbuilt,
‘oh, this is wrong’ because the biological function
of people's buttholes is
You know: to poo.
Poop comes out of it.
So it has this, anal straddles
this world of being both now kind of on the table,
not seen as like a really rude
or disrespectful thing to bring up, but it still has that,
‘maybe we shouldn't be doing this’.
Yeah, well look at us go.
Yeah this is risky or...
We talk a lot about how sexual norms can become coercive
or I think about it a lot because I think back
when I was more
casually sexually active, I went along with things
because it was what was expected.
It can be much more subliminal than that.
It can be much more feeling like,
you are aboard the sex train destination anal town
and there's nothing you can do about it.
But actually that's not real.
Your sex train is going to wherever you want it to go to.
and anal town is a little side
loop that you can choose to take if you want to.
It's not an inevitability yet.
And I think like a lot of people's concern
comes from like younger people engaging...
That’s where my concern comes in.
Where like maybe like you said, the train,
they don't know that they're in control of their train.
They might end up putting a lot of,
like this person is the train driver of my train.
Yeah.
Unfortunately with anal there seems to be like this
horrible ghost hanging around from the past of like
of someone's “no” can become a “yes” if you keep asking.
And I think when I hear the word obsession,
maybe this person might have had experiences like that
where they can't seem to let it go.
If I don't want to do it, that's
the end of the conversation.
I think also
with these conversations you just hit him with the
‘and what about you?’
What about your butt?
Yeah what about your butt!?
If they're so interested in engaging
in these sorts of play and these forms of sex,
if they're more than happy to keep pestering you
and are super dismissive of the idea that you could also
be enjoying their butt, again, red flag, absolute no go.
And in the wake of our conversation
that we had before
this series about pegging, I had some a couple of
I think cis dudes get in touch and be like
exploring being pegged was amazing for my relationship
with my girlfriend, just for how I
got to experience that feeling and was so much more empathetic
about what anal sex requires when it's
flipped.
Like if you're that into it, like give it a go yourself.
maybe and then we can talk.
Exactly.
And then we can talk.