Good afternoon sir! I am Elania and I am doing MBA
So my question is like, whenever I have to make any decision, I can't take decisions on my own.
I have to take consent of at least two to three people to get satisfied and to make my decision as a final one.
Sir, can you please help me out in it?
Thank you! That's a very valid concern and I think especially with women in this country.
You know especially for females in this country.
Boys are encouraged to take their decisions independently.
Girls are discouraged to take their decisions independently.
This is a social mindset which needs to be changed because of two or three reasons.
1. Economic Reasons: India's lagging way behind from China.
China is far ahead, in women's participation in the economy.
Most of the our females are not participating in the economy resulting in low rate of GDP and innovation growth.
From every field, qualified females, after their marriage choose to be a housewives resulting in quality loss in institutes and industrial houses.
We are loosing in every way!
Government and corporate houses need to make policies to encourage these women to come back into the workforce.
2. I would like to address especially parents, on this issue, before answering your question.
Parenting plays a great role importantly, to ensure your children, in their growth years to take their decisions. (This is my message for the parents.)
Regardless of gender, encourage your children to make their own decisions most of the times.
Make them much self-dependent!
Boys and girls both will make mistakes,
But the biggest mistake in our nurturing will be of not making them capable of taking their own decisions.
We, the parents need to perform the role of a mentor or a coach.
Where, when the child is likely to do a mistake, we should then intervene before and try to discuss to let them know that their path is wrong.
Or in the ideal situation, there must be self realization from within the child that the decision is wrong and I won't do it!
That would be good parenting!
But when, we as parents we take away the decision making power from our children about his daily chores.
Then this kills their internal initiative, internal entrepreneur, internal leader, be that boy or a girl.
But then boys are given much freedom, in our country, to commit mistakes.
And as they say, boys can be naughty but you know, for girls, different expectations are there.
And in that case, after some time our decision making power tends to get weak.
However, for females watching this video if you also feel your decision-making power is weak.
This results in such weakening decisions that during having food in a restaurant they check the menu.
And look at their husband or someone else that, 'what food should I eat! Please order for me as well.'
Not Good! Not Good! Not Good!
So start taking small decisions initially!
Right!
We won't say to take up arguments or fights.
But learn to communicate that you can also, if there is a certain thing, you can also take your decision.
And create that environment in the family where your decisions are also invited and they are welcomed.
So, step one is that there would be a mental block in your mind if your decision making power is weakened.
There'll be a mental block in your mind, which will say that I should first consult others.
This will increase with growing age and will trouble a lot later.
You know because for every decision you would count upon someone.
Firstly, have FAITH in yourself, that atmost what would happen, my decision would be wrong!
So what?
No one is perfect!
Every person, even the ones we admire the most, may have also taken wrong decisions in their life.
If Sachin Tendulkar is called the god of cricket I am sure, there are many shorts that he has played which were wrong decisions.
Michael Jordan says that, in my career, I have won so many games but I have also lost so many games.
Because of the bad shots that I played and that makes me who I am.
If in my videos, great content has been spoken, then there is a possibility of some passable content as well.
I say, that's about life! You know. We're not perfect at all the time.
An don't take that decision now.
So, first thing to consider is that it's not necessary that all my decisions have to be right.
If it went wrong than, I will learn from my experience.
Right!
Experience is a great teacher as it's often been said.
Second is that you start making small decisions on your own.
Start taking small-small decisions on your own and see how you perform.
Right!
And then this is how your decision-making muscle will improve.
At the root cause of this whole thing that an individual is unable to take their decision is..
The root cause is that there is a FEAR.
There is a fear of what will happen/what might happen if this decision goes wrong!
Initially, you need to remove this fear.
Right!
Second are your insecurities around it.
This can happen with anyone.
If there are 6 options, like where is it easy to order?
1. In a roadside food stall with only 4 things on menu?
Is it easy to order there?
2. Or in a restaurant with variety of 200 dishes?
It would obviously be easy at a roadside food spot!
It would only have dal, sabji, chapati and naan. 4 things!
Or at-most green salad.
You will just order within a minute, eat and move on.
If you have gone to a good restaurant which have more choices..
This is a problem of modern life.
More the options, more the is the decision making power of all of us is weakened!
So, now you have to think, what I need!
Like we go for a having buffet.
Hotel management students might understand it better.
In a buffet, both you and your stomach is confused!
Stomach too wonders what has this man has eaten! (Pun Intended)
Chinese? Indian? Starter soup was Chinese? Than others? Than the western desert?
So, you and your stomach both are confused!
So have clarity!
What do I want? The more clarity you will have the quicker you will be able to take decisions.
Don't delay.
The longer you delay a decision, if the decision has to be made, take it as soon as possible.
As much you delay, what will happen is, your ability to take a decision will go to zero.
Otherwise it will be a part of the category: Decisions Which Were Never Taken!
And that pile will increase gradually.
So, take decisions!
Some of them will work some of them will not work but that's called life!
I hope that answers your question.
Thank you!