- My name's Kionte.
Served with the United States Marine Corps
from 2007 to 2012.
We were clearing out a building
and there was an IED in the doorway.
and I think out of 13 people,
I was the last guy that walked into the building,
with my Junior Marine behind me
and I stepped on that IED.
I awoke in the hospital
where my left leg was fully wrapped,
but my right leg was gone completely below the knee.
And I was at Balboa Hospital where I was stationed
and where I did my rehabilitation in there.
I felt regret 'cause my guys were still out there
and I was, you know, in the hospital,
and I couldn't do anything.
Once I was pushed to being outpatient
is where depression kind of kicked in
a little bit more for me.
Where I felt a little not myself, I guess.
I started abusing my medication, my pain meds.
I didn't really need it as much as I did before for the pain.
It was very hard to find that glimmer of hope
or light at the time.
One day I was just in bed and just had to ask myself,
you know, like, "What do I--" like,
"Why am--" like, kind of ask myself, "Why am I here?"
"Why am I still alive?" Talking to someone,
I only had my one friend that I-I trusted,
and it took a while for us to kind of trust each other.
I opened up to him, you know, like, vaguely,
and slowly just continued to open up to him,
and it felt good to be able to talk to someone,
and be able to have someone understand you.
To where-- if I talk to my friends,
you know, they wouldn't be able
to understand where I'm coming from.
I didn't really talk to a therapist until,
like, the last year
to where I realized,
you know, like, maybe there's things for me to talk--
that I should probably talk about.
My therapist kinda just allowed me to talk,
and she would ask me questions here and there,
and after a certain while, I would just open up,
and I would just talk and talk and talk,
and she would just listen.
I guess for me I had to just keep asking myself--
every morning I would wake up, you know, like,
"Why am I still alive?" Just, like, trying to find
that purpose for me-- or myself at least.
Decided to ask myself, you know, like, "What makes me happy?"
Um, and I realized at that point,
you know, making other people happy makes me happy.
So I started to get into, like, Paralympics camps,
so that got me out of the room.
It kind of started that mindset
or that slight change of to where I'm--
I can still do something with my life.
Being a part of, you know, active people
encouraged me to be more active,
and when you see another amputee doing something that
you thought you couldn't do, you're just like,
"I wanna do that, but better."
And I've always wanted to be better and better
because it's challenging myself
because I thought I couldn't do any of these things,
and now I'm doing many things I probably would have never done
if I wasn't injured.
I've, you know, done motivational speaking,
I've climbed the highest mountain in Antarctica,
I've, you know, challenged myself,
I've pushed myself.
I've done all these things
that I never would have thought have been possible.
But making that first step of just--
from when I was in the hospital, making that step
to where it was just like, "I don't want to be this way,"
and making that change.
I've been able to grow
in a more positive direction,
but it doesn't negate that I have my down days.
I still have my depression days,
but I know how to control them.
You know, I know how to work with them
rather then work against them.
And I feel that's why
I still continue to seek therapy.
'Cause I've found that it does help.