- [Amanda] Is there someone in your life
who's been acting strange lately?
Everyone's experienced jealousy at some point,
whether it's being envious of the best student in class,
or a friend who's gotten more popular recently.
It's a natural feeling you are bound to experience.
However, sometimes,
when this feeling grows out of proportion,
it can often impact someone's outward behavior
and interaction with others.
Does this remind you of someone in your life?
Well, here are seven signs
someone is extremely jealous of you.
Number one, they're constantly trying to bring you down.
Have you ever been excited
to share your good news with someone
only to be faced with a negative reaction?
Perhaps you told your friend
that you've gotten that promotion you've been dreaming of,
but they turned it into a bad thing.
Instead of praising you for your hard work and talent,
they may say that it happened
because your boss just favored you more
or because there was no other person to promote.
According to counselor, educator,
and suicidologist, Araya Baker,
"An envious person who can't find legitimate flaws
in their target
will detract from their target's likability
or attempt to humble them by wielding any criticism."
So you'll know that someone is jealous of you
if they're always going out of their way
to make you feel guilty, undeserving,
or invalid of your accomplishments and success.
Number two, they don't respect your decisions.
Envious people have a tendency
to manipulate those they target
into feeling like they're making the wrong choices.
When in actuality,
they're just jealous of you achieving your goals.
Out of spite, they might gaslight you
into feeling like the positive situation you're in
or heading towards
is actually doing more harm to you than good.
Their goal is to criticize your judgment,
foster your self-doubt, and diminish your self-confidence,
so that you feel less capable of making the right decision.
In these moments, it's important to remind yourself
that you know yourself best.
You make the calls here.
Number three, they avoid you after the good things.
Can you recall a time when you shared a piece
of good news with a friend
and they didn't respond at all?
They may go as far as to distance themselves
or disappear for a few days or months from you.
As shared earlier,
feelings of envy can be extremely consuming
as it's a cry for help or a need for attention
due to insecurity, self-doubt, and lack of self-confidence.
If someone's been awfully quiet
since a recent celebration in your life,
it's likely that spending time with you
has worsened their feelings of inadequacy
and pain within themselves.
This behavior of refusing to celebrate your success
is not a reflection of you,
but rather how they feel about themselves internally.
Number four, they're always attempting to one-up you.
Have you ever shared positive news with someone
and they responded by sharing something bigger and better
to try to outdo what you've got going on in life?
If you got a new car, they may mention
that they also got the latest model of the same thing.
If you get a raise,
they may talk about how much money they earn
at their current position.
The need to constantly one-up you
comes from an obsession with class and status.
Envious people tend to be attracted
by the superficial elements in life,
such as material items,
physical features, and social status and likability.
They see your accomplishments as a threat
to their social standing,
prompting them to upstage you in any way they can.
Number five, their compliments are back-handed.
Does it feel fake when they compliment you?
People who are jealous often give compliments
that aren't very genuine.
Instead, it can feel like insults and criticisms
disguised as flattering comments.
These often come from a place of ignorance,
some form of arrogance and egotism,
and a lack of self-security.
According to a series of studies at Harvard Business School,
while people intend back-handed compliments
to increase their likability and status at the same time,
the givers come across as less sincere, less attractive,
more condescending, and even less competent
than those who offer a traditional compliment.
It's a tactic to hurt you
while trying to come across as interested and concerned.
Number six, they celebrate your failures.
Envious people can sometimes be unhealthily invested
in keeping up with where you're at in life
by monitoring your success and achievements closely.
This is so they can catch you when you trip or fall in life.
Any example of your seemingly poor performance
feeds their insecurity and ego.
Similarly, you may also notice
that they won't offer any support and encouragement to you
in an attempt to discourage you
from pursuing your goals further.
If you notice that this so-called friend
or loved one in your life is acting oddly, unaffected,
or even happy about a struggle
you may be experiencing in life,
they're most likely jealous of you
and are projecting this behavior as a result.
And number seven, they scrutinize you
while imitating your admirable traits and characteristics.
Envious people are always paying close attention
to their targets,
ironically copying the very things they critique them for.
They may express
that your dressing style is too over the top,
but then start upgrading their wardrobe to classier fits.
They may criticize you for being excessively hardworking
and then try to improve their own work ethic to exceed you.
As written in Psychology Today,
this pre-occupancy and social comparison
against their target ultimately leads to them
using the target they diminish in private,
as the same criteria for elevating their public
or social image.
They're, in a way, your secret admirer.
Their goal is to be just like you, if not better.
So is there someone who is jealous of you?
Let us know in the comments below.
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The references and studies used in this video
are added in the description below.
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